Today I found myself asking "What ever happened to doctor's house calls?". I have been feeling puny since Sunday. Thought I could fight it with over the counter drugs. Don't know why, because I always get worse and always end up at the doctors with the same diagnosis-upper respiratory infection. Why can't I just call tell them my diagnosis and let them call in the antibiotic and cough syrup? No, I have to get up, shower, change the bandages on my leg, do my hair, put on makeup (because I am too vain), drive, park where there is no close handicap parking left. Make it in, spend 5 minutes with the doctor and sure enough he says what I already know. Hopefully the meds will kick in fast because I hate having a cold. At first I thought at least it is just in my chest and not in my head, but today it moved up into the head as well. A half of box of kleenex later, I got my meds. Hopefully they will enable me to sleep without coughing! I hope you and yours are staying healthy!

Tonight my heart is heavy thinking of Jerry Mooney, a man at our church who was told today his wife might only live another week and he did not think she recognized him today. My Steve still gets choked up when he tells other people about what it was like when I was in my coma and he could not talk with me. Some of you have heard him say he would call the answering machine just to hear my voice. I have not ever been in Jerry or Steve's shoes. I don't know how that feels, I can only imagine. So today say a special prayer for strength fro Jerry, and a miracle for Nancy. For those of you who don't know her she is in need of a liver transplant.
God has sure blessed me with the best husband in the world! I am so very thankful for the way he loves me with Christ's love. So also give a thanksgiving for your spouse today and take a little time to remind them of how much you love them.

For a long time one of my favorite verses has been I Corinthians 2:3-4-"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God." About six months after my accident I found a website chat room of people who are wearing external fixators (they are called Ilizarov's). There is definite truth that no one knows better than someone else who has walked in your shoes. It has been a blessing to be used by God to try and encouarge others who are on this same journey as I, and let them encourage me. You can definitely tell who are believers and who are not as some posts the people just cannot see any positive and seem to have no hope. But amazingly enough most people who post give credit to God and offer prayers up for each other.
I don't think any of us have made it through life without a time that we have been the recievers of God's comfort. Aren't we thankful that He can use us as His conduit to others to bring them His comforting in the form of our flesh?

I found a new verse today "We have this ministry through the mercy shown to us." 2 Corinthians 4:1 The Message states it this way "Since God has so generously let us in on what he is doing, we're not about to throw up our hands and walk off the job just because we run into occasional hard times." Steve and I have volunteered to be part of a team at our church to look at how RE can be more missional. I am reading a book called "Treasure in Clay Jars" and Steve is reading a book called "The Externally Focused Church". Both of these books are giving us things to discuss and dreams to dream. I don't know what makes it so hard for us as a church to be more externally focused than internally focused? Furthermore why is the same true for me personally? In the book I am reading their are case studies of several churches that have found ways to be God in their communities. It is not rocket science. So I look at Richardson and wonder, where does God need to be His presence? Then I realize perhaps it starts right here on my block. Where can Steve and I be God's presence right here on our block? We have lived here about 9 years and we only know two neighbors and have met one couple across the street. If anything were to happen to any of them like happened to me how would I even know about it? Ashamedly, I have to admit I would not know. So may I be more committed to finding out more about where God is at work and having the priviledge to join Him in that work. I thank Him for the mercy He has shown me and love to have the opportunity to tell others about it.

Steve and I had a dinner date tonight to Cheddars. People are so kind when they see me on crutches: They get up and open doors, they give me their seat, etc. One thing that they do that I don't quite understand is ask me how I hurt my leg. I just don't think I would ever ask a stranger that question. Tonight, a man actually got out of his booth to come over and ask me what had happened. He went on to tell me about his own broken ankle that had been healing for 4 months. I don't know why it was important for me to trump him and let him know I was coming up on 2 years. I also don't know when I am answering what happened that I also say I was hit by a drunk driver instead of just saying I was in a car accident. One thing I have learned is this world is definitely not handicap friendly. Especially when you are in a wheel chair. So many stores the aisles are just not wide enough for you in a wheel chair and another person in the aisle. Most people are looking intently on what they are wanting to buy and don't even see you sitting there waiting to get by. Some stores are good about providing carts to help you get around. These are a great help but the thing I don't like about them is when you back up they beep, so everyone stares. I am glad the new chair they got me for work only has a horn if I choose to push it, it doesn't automatically happen just because I am backing up.
Anyway...I know I a rambling tonight. Hopefully we will all be more sensitive to those around us with a handicap and make things a little easier for them as they journey on their way.

Got a call from the doctor's office and they said my last x-ray looked wonderful and I don't have to return to the doctor for a month! I told her I like that word "wonderful" and going from weekly visits to monthly visits is a positive step. This journey is 2 months short of being 2 years! It is so hard to believe. Different people at different times have complimented me on my faith, or called me brave. I am far from it and my faith waivers depending on the day. One thing that has kept me on track is to read a post from a sweet family called the Aikmen's, they have a sweet daugther Avery that has spent most of her first year of life in and out of the hospital. Today they hit 100,000 hits to their site, knowing that many prayers have been lifted for that child bring them peace, and yet bring to question why God hasn't answered with healing. I have struggled to answer that for myself as well. However here is what Angie posted today "I have to believe that if so many prayers were said to avoid this and we came so close to avoiding it and yet ended up here anyways, that we are right where God wants us. This isn’t His plan B for Avery’s life or our life. Is that easy? Absolutely not! However, I have to surrender once again to His plan for our lives and not mine. The above verse reminds me that God is strong enough to do anything, including heal Avery. However, He is also loving enough to do what is best for us, even we can’t possibly understand it. I am believing in Him to heal Avery in His way, in His timing, and for His purpose, even if that isn’t this side of heaven. Easier said than done, but I’ve always said the journey is about surrender." The verse she refers to is Psalms 62:12-"You O God are strong, You O God are loving." See why reading their post brings me strength? If Angie and Paul can have this kind of faith so can I. Like she said it is about daily surrender. Praise God for faithful believers who help us all to keep our eyes on our loving God. If you would like to check out their post and join in prayers for sweet Avery you can visit them at http://www.caringbridge.org/cb/inputSiteName.do?method=search&siteName=averygraceakeman

Have you ever read the book "Jesus Freaks"? Tonight I was sharing a story with my 5th and 6th grade girls class. We were talking about what is the cost for following Christ. I am always taken back by the stories of martyrs. I always am led to wonder if I would be so brave as to lay my life down for the cause of Christ. I sure hope so. It was interesting that one of the girls told me that she did not think she could but because God is a God of forgiveness she did not think He would hold it against her. She is right that God is a God of forgiveness, but I would hope my love for Him would compel me to lay my life down for Him. Would there be any greater way to show my love for Him? I am thankful that so far I have not been tested in that way. I have never had to lose a friend or family member because of my beliefs. I pray for all of those around the world right this day who are giving their lives because they love the Lord more than life itself.

I was tagged by Stephanie.
The tag instructions...1) Grab the book closest to you
2) Open to page 123, go down to the fourth sentence
3) Post the text of the following 3 sentences
4) Name the author and book title
5) Tag three people to do the same

I wish no more than this O Lord. Into thy hands I commend my soul; I offer it to you with all the love in my heart, for I love you Lord and so need to give myself, to surrender myself into your hands without reserve and with boundless confidence, for You are my Father.

Lois E. Barrett,et. al
Treasure in Clay Jars

I tag Liz, Beverly and Trey

Well today I am still recuperating from the exciting weekend. Here are some more pictures from Christa's wedding. Families are the place where we have the opportunity to be Jesus to one another more than anywhere else I think. When you have a family as big as ours it is inevitable that we will not see eye to eye on everything. I am thankful I am a part of a family that works hard in extending forgiveness to one another and doing our best to maintain our
family bonds. I hope that we will always know that we are there for one another even in the midst of our differences. That our goal will always be to build one another up and challenge each other to be the best person we can be. I long for the day when all the members of my family are seeking to be Deuteronomy 6:5 people who "love the Lord with all our heart, souls, mind and strength". I pray that I will always be the wife, daughter, sister, aunt, cousin, etc. that shows the face of Jesus to my family. I pray that they will never feel judged by me, but loved unconditionally by me. Yet, there is a time where truth has to be spoken and that is not always easy. May the Lord bless us all as we journey this earth together.

Nephew Daniel and girlfriend
Yahitza, Niece Danettea
and husband Steve

Robby, Christa and father James

Sister Caren, husband Mel,
their grandaughter Zariah

Well I am back after being gone for a week. First Steve and I attended the Christian Education Conference. While the attendance was down because people thought the weather would be worse than it was, it was a good conference. I was once again motivated in trying to make a difference in the spiritual lives of the children and families God has placed in my care. It was so good being with friends and talking about what God is doing in their lives.

Then it was off to Denver for my neice's wedding. What a beautiful sight coming into Denver and seeing snow for as far as you could see. I actually love snow, there is something so spiritual about the pureness of it all! What was amazing though is even though there was (I don't know how many inches) snow on the ground, the roads were all amazingly clear!!!! Here in Dallas we get a minute amount and everything goes haywire. Yesterday, with all that snow already on the ground it began snowing again, this time the roads became sloshy, but still not icy. I just knew that our plane would be late or even canceled as there was so much snow falling. But I got to watch the act of "de-icing". 25 or more trucks spraying the planes. It did delay our flight by about an hour, but we arrived home safely about 9:00 p.m. I was so glad that I had the forsight to take my walker, it made it much easier to walk on the snowy services than I would have with my crutches. My brother in law Mel was very sweet to help us on the return home by taking the car back to the rental place, saving me from having to climb up on another shuttle bus.

It was good to be with family. It makes me sad that my family doesn't get together very often. I see my brothers and sisters about once a year, but not nieces and nephews, so it had been several years. Seven of them were at the wedding. They have all grown up so fast! Christa was a beautiful bride. My niece Alyssa is a cosmotologist and she did several of the bridesmaids hair, the flower girl (my grandniece) and the bride's mother (my sister-in-law).

She did such a good job. They were beautiful. I got to spend some special time with my niece Danette who is my namesake and see the new nursery she is preparing for who soon to be (8 weeks from now) little boy. We are so looking foward to him coming.

My first attempt to post pictures: The first is my niece Alyssa and grandniece Alyvia,

Then my mom with my nieces Aly and Alyssa, and then Christa's wedding party.

I will try to post some more tomorrow.

I will write some more about my trip tomorrow. And I was tagged by Stephanie, so I will answer that tomorrow as well. It is good to be back home!!

Today was a day of sweet surprises. I was contacted by three friends I haven't heard from in awhile. The best surprise was a call from Mrs. Elizabeth Boyd. She is eighty-three and lives in Houston. When I did an internship at a juvenile facility she was the cook in the cottage I was assigned to. She was such a sweet woman with a Godly spirit and we connected and have exhchanged Christmas letters every year. She decided to call and see how my leg was healing. I was so touched! It is such a blessing the way that Christ bonds us with individuals for life. Speaking of bonds, I have been so looking forward to the Chrisitian Education Conference that begins in Fort Worth tomorrow. It is always so good to be with fellow ministry partners from all across the country and catch up, not to mention I usually get motivated by the speakers. Now with the threat of ice tonight, I am hoping that we don't have to miss it! We would have gone ahead over to the motel tonight but the rates are over double of what they will be for the conference. I tried to get Steve to just stay somewhere close, but he didnt seem to want to tr that, so guess we will just have to wait and see what the night brings. In the meantime, I thank God for friends and the bond that we have through eternity.

I got to do two of my favorite things today: spend time with my hubby and eat breakfast out. I don't know what it is about eating breakfast out but I enjoy it more than any other meal out. I love IHOPS Harvest Nut'n Grain pancakes with the Butter Pecan syrup. Yummmm. Tonight Steve and I attended the memorial service for a young man we had never met. His parents attend our church. He was 40 years old and a down's syndrome child. He had lived in institutional care since he was 12. Bill and Margie are such sweet, sweet people. Tonight was a celebration that their boy is now healed and with God. I used to do some volunteer work at the state school in Lubbock while I was in college. One of of the things that is very obvious when you are with Down Syndrome individuals is the way they spread happiness by just being in their presence. They are so filled with life as they are constantly children. Simplest things bring them great pleasure. I wish I was more like that. I admire the Bunches and all the many parents like them who live life to the fullest in the midst of disappointment and daily challenges with a handicapped child. A life full of sacrifice for the happiness of their children.
I realize the same could be said of all parents, but not to the same extreme. So tonight my thoughts and prayers are consumed by those unsung heroes. I rejoice with them that heaven will be the place of ultimate healing and there will be no tears there.

Yeah! They delivered my power chair to work today! Now I can get up and down the hallways with the greatest of ease and my arms full of whatever! One of the major blessings of this accident has been that Teresa Ediger immediately filed it as a workman's comp claim (since I was on my way home from a visit with a child at the hospital when the wreck happened) I cannot even imagine what our finances would be like if we had to be paying 20% of all the current medical bills! But more than that workman's comp has been amazing, supplying me with everything I have asked for. A new bed, and new living room chair, a remodeled house (for easier wheelchair access), a bone stimulator (just to name a few things). They have made sure that I have had everything I need to be a physically comfortable as possible. But more importantly than that I have been so very blessed to have Christian brothers and sisters who have come along beside me and helped me on the spiritual journey. How do people survive life and especially trauma's without a community of believers? I can't even imagine. So I say thank you to all of you who have reached out and made this journey so much easier through your love and support. You are a wonderful gift from God and I thank Him for you!

To me one of my worst nightmares is seeing boredom in the eyes of my students. I just returned from Bible class where I teach 5th and 6th grade girls. I can't put my finger on what is different about this group of girls than the other groups I have taught (this is my 5th year), but we are just not connecting. They just look so bored. Tonight we talked about new beginnings and looked at different promises that God gives us to make us new. We talked about keeping our eyes on the prize and that our goal should be heaven. Maybe I expect too much from these girls? After all they cannot know what I know at their young age. It has taken me a long time to embrace these truths, but I just want things to be so much easier for them. Yet, as I shared with them tonight the world is a much harder place for them than it was for me when I was their age. I am hopeful that even though their faces remained expressionless that something did in fact touch their hearts. If nothing else I challenged myself to be able to lay my head on my pillow every night and say that I have kept Acts 24:16-"I have a clear conscience before God". I want to make my goal every day to please Him. 2 Corinthians 5:9

I just got home from playing Bunco. It is so much fun spending time with this group of women, eating, talking and rolling dice!! I actually won for the most baby buncos tonight, so that is always an added bonus. Lori Garner hosted tonight and made a very delcious chicken dish. It was so good. We have had a big turnover in our group of late, so it is fun to have several new ladies and getting to know some new women better. We really appreciate all the men that take care of kids to let the women have this night one time a month. It is such a no brainer way to have fellowship. Tomorrow morning Ladies Bible class starts back up and I am going to try and committ to get back to being a regular attendee. I started off in September but haven't been since my surgery the first of November. It is also a place for wonderful fellowship. The thing I enjoy the most about it is that the fellowship is women of all ages. I am so blessed by their wisdom and hearing what God is doing in their lives. There is just nothing better than spending time with sisters in Christ. I am thankful for all the ways that God provides for that to happen, and am really looking forward to our retreat in a couple of weeks! It is the best of the best.

To start off with today I am rejoicing as I sit back in my chair in the living room! I am rather skeptical that it is only fixed temporarily, but hopefully I am wrong. Earlier tonight I was looking at one of (the many) catalogs I recieve and saw this quote "Life is a journey, not a destination". This is so true, I would do better most days to remember that. To remember that whatever I am going through this day is temporary and is meant to be a directional signal to my final destination. I can choose to keep on the path towards my destination or take a detour. You would think I would have learned by now that choosing the detour usually takes me on a longer and more painful path. Paul said in Philippians 3:14 "I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus". Heaven is my destination and each day God grants me life here on earth is just one more day in the journey towards that goal. I pray that I can keep my eyes on that prize and make the journey in a way that makes the win all that more thrilling! I am so glad that so many of you are on that journey with me! May the Lord bring us all to the prize soon!

I think that I have the best job in the world!! I love children and I am so blessed to be in a place where I get paid to spend time with them. There is no greater joy than hearing my name be called and a child giving me a hug. The kids at my church have been amazing through this ordeal and are so faithful to tell me they are praying for me I got cleared to go back to work part time today and I am so excited! I will be back in the office on Monday. This is going to be last year to do Children's Ministry at Richardson East. I will retire December 31st of this year. I will be shy 2 months of spending 10 years of ministry with this great church. Don't know where the Lord will take Steve and I after that, but I know wherever it is I will still want to be involved with planting God's word in the hearts of children. To me there is no greater calling. I have been contemplating what I can do this year to leave things the best they can be. I have a list an arm long. But the most important thing I want to do is let His children know how much they are loved by their Father and by me.

Thanks so much to all of you who have been so sweet to respond positively to my blogging efforts. I find it humbling that someone thinks your thoughts are worth reading. I have found myself today contemplating more about the bible study I was involved in last night that I mentioned in yesterday's post. It is so much to wrap my mind around when it comes to understanding how God works in the midst of suffering. While I don't think God causes bad things to happen, or plans for bad things to happen, He does know they are going to happen and chooses not prevent them but to allow them, even though He has the power to stop anything. So why is it that one person gets a miracle cure from cancer and another suffers painfully until death? That one mother prays for a healthy baby and recieves it, while another has a baby with multiple health issues or even misscarries. Why some concieve who don't want a child (or aren't ready) and others remain childless who desire children. Some are spared in a car accident that should have killed them, while others die. I could go on and on. It is hard to understand how a loving Father allows what we percieve as bad things to happen.
But the bottom line is He is God and I am not. He doesn't promise a life free from the hard things, but what He does promise is that He will cause all things to work together for good, Phillipians 4:13 We can sit and ask the questions all day long, but the bottom line is we don't have to have the answer to trust that God will do what He says He will do. There are so many promises in the Word. Jeremiah 29:11 says "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you". "So we say with confidence, 'The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. " Hebrews 13:6. "And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.: Romans 8:28. Just a few, there are so many more. God does promise to give me the strength to make it through the struggle. Phillipians 4:19. So the bottom line is even when I don't think I understand I must declare that "God I don't understand, but I choose to trust you". There is only one other choice and it leads to a much darker place in life where there is no hope. I do not want to choose that path, so I resolve that no matter what happens, I will choose to trust in my God who is able to do so much more than all I can ask or imagine! Hope you will too!

Our elders and staff are reading a book called "Like A Shepherd Lead Us" which has chapters written by a variety of authors. Tonight we are discusssing chapter 4, "I Was Sick And You Looked After Me", by Rubel Shelley. It was a timely read for me. During these 20 months I would be less than honest if I did not admit that I have been filled with many questions about God and His providence. I have asked myself "what did I do to deserve this?", or "what lessons am I not learning". I do better some days than others at knowing that neither of these statements is true. The enemy attacks me with that kind of thinking. Rubel reminded me today that my God is a God of love and compassion and would not orchestrate a trial such as this one just to teach me a lesson. BUT will use this trial to teach me about His love and compassion. And nothing is more true. God has been so faithful to tend to me these past months and all my life. I do know that one lesson that I have learned is that the longer the recovery the more you feel forgotten by those the Lord has placed here to be His hands. It has taught me that I too have been those negilent hands to others who are also having long recoveries. I hope that I will committ to be better about reaching out to them. It isn't hard, just a call, a card, an email makes all the difference in not feeling forgotten. I am hoping that tonight's discussion will stir the heart of the 20 of us there to be more proactive about taking time to let the hurting know that we care and consistently follow up with them until in God's timing they are well, either in this life or eternal life.

Well today now makes 2 weeks since my expensive Pride Mobility chair quit working.
Basically it means with this fixator on my leg that I have no where to sit where I can keep my leg elevated. So I have spent the past 2 weeks back in bed (the only place to keep the leg elevated)I don't know what the difference is but being back in the bedroom instead of the living room just makes things seem more depressing. It also seems to make me less motivated to get up and around (dress, makeup, etc.)
They replaced the motor only for the chair to quit working again within a day. Now they have ordered another motor but with the holidays it is not getting delivered as quickly as I had hoped. The sad thing about all this is that it seems no one really cares about my plight. The first company I called never sent a technician out, now this 2nd company doesn't seem to have anyone that really knows about the chair, they get on the phone and have tech services walk them through possible solutions. I wish I was confident that after all this waiting that it is actually a motor problem. I don't think so, but guess we will see. In the meantime I guess I need to be thankful that I have this room remembering that there our homeless people that would love to just have this one room. At least my bed is a craftmatic bed and I can raise it to a sitting position, and be warm under the electric blanket.

Happy 2007!
Well, here we are my first post on my blog. I am not sure what I am thinking, but it seems like all the other blogs that I read everyone just talks about their life. I have hesitated to start a blog because I just don't think my life is as interesting as everyone elses. But then I thought you know I don't read blogs because I neccessarily find them interesting, I read them to find out more about the person who is blogging and in turn I find that interesting.
I don't really make New Year resolutions. Probably because I lack the discipline to keep them. But I do try to recommitt throughout the year to improve different areas of my life. Seems like I usually fail and have to ask for God's forgiveness and start over again, but I heard one time that success is getting up one more time after a fall. So the fact that I recognize my failures and keep trying over is positive. How thankful I am to have a God overbounding in mercy and grace.
Sometimes God sends me the same message in various ways (since I can be hard headed). He has done that again the past few days. A couple of years ago a couple of friends and I had a prayer session together and at the end one of them told me that one day God and I would be dancing. The other day someone forwarded me an email and it had a message about Guidance. The author noted that the end of the word is dance, the G stood for God, and then U and I. They went on to explain that if two people try to lead than the dance doesn't work. It is only when one partner surrenders the lead and chooses to follow that the dance flows. Then yesterday our youth minister preached and said he and his wife choose a word to focus on for the year. I came home and told Steve that I was going to try that and my word was going to be Guidance. Then today I log onto a friend's blog and she has written an entry about surrendering to God and that yesterday her minister gave her the vision of a child dancing with their father, standing on his feet and letting him lead her around the room. She ended her blog by saying "So I am ready to dance".
So here is to dancing with God in 2007. I am going to try so hard not to step on his feet.