Knowing God

For the past several weeks I have been contemplating the difference between Knowing God and Knowing About God. I think as I evaluate my own life that I know quite a bit about God, but I don't really know God. You might be asking, "what is the difference"? That is exactly what I have been asking as well. Being raised by a Christian mother ensured that I would be a "church goer", so I have heard about God for as long as I can remember. I can tell you numerous Bible stories that I have learned over the years. All these stories show how God was involved in the life of whatever character is being discussed. So you can read those stories and think "that was cool" or "that was really harsh". I don't think I have read those stories asking myself, "so what does this tell me about God?" Or perhaps the better question is what does God want to reveal about Himself to me through this story, because I do believe that two people can read the same story and get something completely different from it. Bottom line is that every story in the Bible is a story about a relationship with God.

So if my life story was written what would it tell others about me and God? I have gone to church all my life, I have taught bible class most of my life. I have been in numerous Bible studies. But I must confess that most of the time I have done those things out of obligation to God, not out of relationship. It is what I am supposed to do. Where is the hunger? Where is the thirst? When do I grow to the point that I want to be in the Word because I realize that it is the very breath that I breathe and I cannot live without it? Job 23:12 says "I have treasured the word of thy mouth more than my bread". David says in Psalms 42:1 "as the deer pants for the water, so my soul pants after you, O Lord." I wish I could say the same. I wish I had that same kind of hunger and thirst.

I read quotes in books, listen to songs, read blogs and there are so many other people that have a much deeper faith than I do. All I know is that God promises to give us the desires of our heart in Psalm 37:4 if our delight is in Him. So I will continue to ask Him if I might know Him deeper and to hunger and thirst after Him and perhaps one day I will be able to say with all sincerity "I long for you God as much as I long for the next breath I will take."

Two days ago I came across this blog http://mabeecolwell.weebly.com/ written by a father who was getting ready to say goodbye to his 3 week old child and I yearned to have the kind of faith that this dad has. He joins my list of Heroes of Faith who I try to learn from. The reality is each of us can only know God through our own heart, not the heart of another, but if I didn't know there was a deeper level, I wouldn't know what to pray for.

Heavenly Praise

Still wondering why there were so many more jokes about the prediction of the rapture, than actual disappointment that it did not happen? I wondered if one of the reasons we don't think of heaven much is that we have quit singing about heaven? When is the last time you sang any of these old hymns?

1. When We All Get To Heaven

2. I'll Fly Away

3. This World Is Not My Home

4. Above The Bright Blue

5. Heaven Is A Wonderful Place

6. No Tears In Heaven

7. How Beautiful Heaven Must Be

8. When The Roll Is Called Up Yonder

9. We're Marching To Zion

10. Sweet By and By

11. How Beautiful Heaven Must Be

12. Glory Land Way

13. Mansion Over The Hilltop

14. Beautiful Isle of Somewhere

15. Jesus Is Coming Soon

16. We Shall See The King Someday

17. Beulah Land

18. I'll Be Somewhere Listening

In this day of "worship songs" our songs are more songs directed towards God. I love the new worship songs. But I sure don't want to forget the great hymns that I was raised on either. I am sure there are other songs about Heaven. These are just the ones I could think of off the top of my head. Funny thing is when I think back on singing them, there are several of them I just did not enjoy singing and it seemed like we sang them so much, and yet now that we don't sing them, I still can sing at least a verse or two of all of these. I do remember wondering why when we did sing them not many people seemed very happy by the expression on their face.

Maybe I am the only one that needs to remind myself "This world is not my home, I am just passing through"....I don't want to get so comfortable here that I no longer long to go home. So hopefully I will keep singing about Heaven and with a big smile on my face.

P.S. When I told Steve about this post, he told me to be sure and not forget his favorite "Off We Go Into The Wild Blue Yonder"..........and like you I just rolled my eyes :-)

Second Coming

There have been all sorts of jokes circulating this week about the May 21st prediction of the rapture. I have been surprised at how many Christians have been posting on Facebook silly comments about that and so many responding to the posts in jest. I don't think anyone is intentionally meaning any harm by these, but nonetheless I have been bothered.

First of all, the people that are part of the Harold Camping Judgement Day movement actually believe what they are promoting. They aren't just trying to get noticed or get press. They truly believe that the Lord is going to come again on May 21st. If He doesn't come, imagine their disappointment. Imagine the way Satan will use it to show them that their faith is not worth anything. Don't get me wrong. I don't think we can predict when the Lord is coming. I think there are too many verses that lead us to believe that no one knows the day or the hour, not even the Lord Himself. (Matthew 24:26) And that it will be like a thief coming in the night (I Thessalonians 5:2). But I just don't think we should make light of those who are believing in error the teachings of Harold Camping. I think we should be praying for them.

Another problem with what is going on, is it is just another way for the "world" to laugh at Christianity. Another radical idea from the Christian right. An opportunity for us to show a true Jesus response and instead for the rest of the word to see, we are making jokes about it.

When is the last time any of us looked at the skies in anticipation of our Lord coming again? To be honest, I for one pray Camping is right. Am I preparing for it? Not anymore than I prepare for it any day.....wait a minute...exactly how am I prepared??? If I honestly believed that today was the day Jesus was coming back how would I live life differently? The main thing is I would be begging my family members that don't know Him to turn to Him as I don't want any of them to be lost. So what am I waiting for? I don't want to offend anyone, I don't want them to think I am pushy, I don't want them to not want to be around me, so I don't say anything in hopes that they will just see my life as different and decide on their own they want a relationship with the Lord. Other than that, I would just be on my knees praying for the Lord's mercy and that He will find me worthy to take home. I know there is nothing more I can do at this point. Either Jesus blood covers me or it doesn't. I wish I could say I would just be on my knees with my hands outstretched to heaven waiting for Him in all confidence that I would be going home. Do I have doubts.....not really....but at the same time I think I would still be begging for mercy because while I know I am a blood soaked sinner, I am still a sinner. Have I a done enough? Absolutely not....will I be judged on what I have done? Yes and no. I will never be able to do enough and we cannot work for our salvation. But has my love for the Lord spurred me to serve Him to my fullest capacity, could I do more? Yes, yes, yes.

Why is it that we want to stay here more than we want to go home? Instead of joking about it, why aren't we praying that it is the day? Have we forgotten that "this world is not our home"?

Not me....I am ready. I want to go home. I want to see my God, my Savior. I want to see my heroes of faith, I want to see my Dad. So in a way I will be just as disappointed on the 22nd if I wake up and the Lord has not called me home as Harold Camping. But perhaps I will then keep my eye on the sky and be more active in making sure I am telling as many others as possible about His coming so a few more will go with me, if we do have a little more time.

My Mama'

Yes, Mother's Day has come and gone, it has been awhile since I had a "mama post" and I wanted to honor her with one for Mother's Day. But then things have been pretty crazy busy since then and I just didn't have time to post...so now things have settled down and I thought I would write this post about my mom.

My mother and I have been blessed with a special relationship for 57 years. She has been such a strong influence in my life. If it weren't for her I would not know the Lord or have the relationship with Him that I have. She was always faithful to take us to church and teach us about the Lord, even if it meant going by herself. She has faced more adversity than anyone I know in terms of deaths in her family and yet her faith has remained strong.

She did not even have a high school diploma, but when she was forced to go back to work when I was about 12, she found a job that supported three children and then ended up teaching her self the skills required to be a church secretary.

She was always an amazing hostess who loved to cook and entertain. If she told you to come at 6:00 for dinner, it was ready the minute the doorbell rang. Fortunately, my husband thinks that I am a good cook because of the things she taught me. Although, I am still not as good at organization and having everything exactly so when company comes through the door.

My mom is one of the most selfless people I know, always putting everyone elses needs before her own. She has been a mainstay for me in my recovery the last 10 years. I remember in Dallas that she overcame her fear of driving on the freeways just to come and sit with me at the hospital which wasn't close to our house. Then when I finally was able to come home from the hospital she faithfully provided meals and cleaned my house for months until I could do so. But to this day if I am having a "big" function she comes and helps however I need her to.

My heart broke for my mom in September when she lost the love of her life. It has been so difficult watching her be so lost without him. They had such a wonderful marriage, and she was really his partner in ministry. For the last five years she had been such a wonderful care giver. Her heart has been broken and there is nothing I can do. For Mother's Day we did get her a Shih Tzu puppy in hopes that he could give her a little companionship. His name is Yoshi and they have become instant friends.

I could go on and on and on....let me end by just listing some of my favorite memories of my mom.

1. Our times of prayer together and talks about God and all things faith.

2. The way she used to dress us alike.

3. Wonderful holidays and celebrations. A major love of Christmas, and even after she outgrew it she helps me decorate to the nines because she knows I love it!

4. Making hamburgers and going to see Elvis movies at the Drive-In movies.

5. Being my traveling companion and our trips to NY, Bush Gardens, The Madonna Inn, etc.

6. Fun camping trips and catching trout and Dolly Varden

7. Playing games.....Spades, Uno, Sequence, Wii

8. Doing retreats together where she was the speaker and I was the worship leader.

9. Her being my biggest fan and cheerleader, no matter what I was doing

10. The countless times she forgave me for my mistakes, hurtful things said, tones of voice, etc.

Once again I could probably go on and on. Thank you Mama' for being the best Mother a daugther could ask for. Thank you for your unconditional love and the way you have poured the love of our Heavenly Father all over me. Thank you for showing me what faith looks like in the good times and the bad. Thank you for helping me keep my eyes on the prize. I am so thankful that you and I will share eternity together and look forward to the day we not only get to see our Savior, but we get to be with Daddy again.