To me the hardest part of blogging is deciding on the Title. This time it came pretty easy, because that is really what I want to talk about tonight. I find faith to be hard. First of all it is hard to really explain what faith is. Yes, I know what the Bible says it is "Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1 But then I ask "what do hope for?" and "what do I not see?" It is too easy to just say God. To me it is much more complex than that. So my own personal definition has more to do with trust. Faith is trusting that the one I cannot see has it all in control and all will work out for the best. But I really want faith that it will all work out the way I want it to work out. Really? My way doesn't see the future. My way doesn't see all the ramifications. And my way definitely may not be what is best. My way is usually what is easy. It takes faith to believe that when everything looks askew God's plan is still perfect. Which brings me to the next aspect of faith that I struggle with. If God is going to do what He is going to do anyway, because He alone knows what the perfect plan is. What am I praying for?? There is a sweet couple in Texas that gave birth to a daughter three weeks ago today. They named her Emma because that means whole and God would make her whole. See about four months ago Emma's parents had been told she wasn't developing quite right and as time went on the reports got worse. Her head was very hyro-cephalic which meant she would be missing part of her brain, then they were told her little hands were not forming, and that she had a cleft palate from the lip to the eye. So what kind of faith did it take to call her Emma?? Then there were countless prayers going up for this baby and asking God to give these sweet parents a miracle. I wish this next sentence said "and they got it". But they didn't,in fact the neurosurgeon was right there as Emma was born and did the MRI immediately and reported "there is even less brain there than we thought". Yes, I am struggling to understand why God didn't give this couple a miracle. If you had read their posts these past months you would see they have the kind of faith in Matthew 21:21, faith that can move a mountain. Here is just one thought from their blog "We trust in the goodness of the Lord. He's always been so good to us, so why would he stop now? I recently watched a sermon that spoke about "circumstantial faith". We will not allow circumstances to rock our faith because our faith does not rest or lean upon on circumstances. It rests upon a person--Jesus Christ. It rests upon the one true God."
After a short two weeks of life, God took Emma home. And now I find myself not having clue what to pray for except for comfort and peace. That doesn't take faith though, because they are both the very nature of God. I have all confidence that He will bless this sweet couple with His presence. As a church we have also been praying months for another sweet baby named Autumn. Autumn's parents were blessed with their miracle. They had also been told their baby's brain would not be normal, but it is. Autumn was born with her intestines on the outside of her body, but she has progressed beautifully and it seems that God has answered every prayer. So I ask myself why did one parent get their prayer answered and the other not? There is no answer. And here we have "faith in what we cannot see".
When it is all said and done either I believe or I don't. Either I trust God has the best way or He doesn't. Faith is not easy. What do you do with a God who can do anything but chooses not to? You praise Him anyway. You surrender to His will. You realize that if everything always went the way we prayed no faith would be required. God would be no more than our vending machine. So even though it is hard, I choose to believe. Because without faith there is no hope.
