Are We Blushing Anymore?

On Wednesday Nights we have been studying Beth Moore's, Praying God's Word. This last Wednesday a paragraph she wrote in the chapter "Overcoming Sexual Strongholds" really struck a chord with me.

"None of us will question that he is having a field day in our present generation in the area of sexual strongholds. Satan's attacks on sexuality have become so outright and blatant that we're becoming increasingly desensitized and are unknowingly readjusting the plumb line to a state of relativity. In other words, instead of measuring our lives against the goal of Christlikeness, we are beginning to subconsciously measure our lives against the world's depravity. We can point to any amount of trash heaps around us and say, "I'll never be as bad as that." A Christian teenager might reason, "At least I sleep only with my boyfriend. Anyway, we're going to get married one day." A Christian spouse might justify his or her lusts with words like, "I may not get to order the dish, but there's no harm in checking our the menu." The virus of relativity is especially compromising in the media industry. We're tempted to choose one compromising movie over another because it's not nearly as bad as the other. We are wise to become very alert to the venomous snakebite of relativism. Satan is increasing the dosage of sexually immoral provocation with such consistency that we don't realize how much poison we're swallowing."

I agree with what she is saying in this paragraph but especially what she terms the "virus of relativity". I have been struggling lately because I have so much wanted to go see the movie "The Help". It has not helped that numerous friends on FB have posted that they have been to see it and it is such a good movie. Well, it is rated PG-13 and I usually go out and research what causes movies to get those ratings. Plugged In is a good source (http://www.pluggedin.com/). I used to love "Screen It", but they now charge $47 a year for a membership. If I went to movies every week, that would be worth the cost, but I don't. But what I like about the sites is that it tells you exactly why a movie is rated what it is rated. They count the number of cuss words and tell you what they are. Of course I struggle with the fact that I am reading the words instead of hearing them spoken in a movie, not to mention someone else had to listen to the language to record them.

Back to "The Help".....can I really go see a movie where God's name is taken in vain at least 8 times? Not to mention several other expletives. Yes, this movie has an inspirational message and the maids even talk about their faith in God. But can I justify the bad for the sake of "the good story"? Sometimes I just feel like I am such a prude, but I think God has just been calling me to a different standard, because I have not always made these same decisions. I have seen my share of "R" rated movies. But in the context of what Beth said above, I do find it interesting when I asked several people what "The Help" was rated PG-13 for, they said it had to be the racial tensions in the movie. Several said "the language wasn't that bad". Not that bad?? This is what Plugged In said "Six or seven s-words. Two obvious misuses of Jesus' name and nearly 10 of God's name. Four times God's name is paired with "d‑‑n," a word that is uttered other times as well. Whites spit out "n-gger" a handful of times. Other profanities include "a‑‑," a‑‑hole" and "h‑‑‑." So here we go....compared to other movies is it so bad? Wrong question. If I am being honest, I have written this and rewritten it several times trying to convince myself that I should go see this movie. I knew if I went ahead and put it down in writing here, that I would not be able to go see it. And if you are reading this and did go see it, I am not trying to guilt you. I am saying that perhaps we all should examine the extent to which we have become desensitized and ask ourselves if we are guilty of Jeremiah 6 and lost our ability to blush? I pray that I will not listen to the voice of Satan telling me "it is not so bad" and instead make my standard Philippians 4:8 "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." The challenge for me is to set that as my standard, but not judge others or think myself as "more holy" when I do that. Recently, Steve and I went to see "Cowboys and Aliens". We were only 5 minutes into the movie when the language started and I said to Steve "I can't believe I didn't even think to check this movie out first". So I am not saying we are perfect people. Thank you God that we are forgiven people covered by grace.

Blogging Blues

Recently I saw a post on Facebook where the individual stated they were considering blogging again and wondered if anyone had any advice about it. This is what one person said in reply "Be real. Be honest, and even controversial if there is something on your heart to share/discuss. And if you are posting about your family adventures, don't just post about the good times, post about challenging things too" and here is another "i totally agree with Nicole! be real and honest. Write what God lays on your heart. whether its good, bad or even contervsial. Because you never know who God will put in your path to read, understand, long for or even just guidance of what God is doing or can do for them."

I concur with those statements and think that is basically what blogging is. I guess it is transparent journaling. In the past couple of months there has been someone posting anonymous comments on my blog that has made me question why I am blogging? Their comments have really hit my heart hard. I pray I am not the person this anonymous reader perceives me to be. I have considered just quitting, but I do think there have been many more times that God has used my words to bless someone than aggravate, so I will trust that that will continue to be true in the future.

But to my anonymous poster, I am no longer allowing anonymous post to my blog. If you want to criticize me you are going to have to be brave enough to let me know who you are. I do ask your forgiveness for whatever I have done that has caused you to see me as this self centered, vindictive, critical spirit. I definitely do have my faults, and I have often confessed over the years on my blog that I struggle with a critical spirit. I definitely do need to look at the positives in people and situations a lot more than the negatives. I will continue to pray that God transforms my mind into a Philippians 4:10 mind. But I do hope you will find a more constructive way to express your discontent with my posts. Please include me in your prayers and ask God to reveal anything in my heart that is displeasing to Him. I will continue to do the same. After your comments, I made an edit to what I said about Steve's mom in a way that better expressed what I was trying to say. I was not trying to dishonor her in my comments, but express my sadness in the fact that we were not close. It was never anything intentional on either of our parts, but as I tried to say, it was the fact that we did not really know each other from spending limited time together.

I do thank you for posting though, for without your comments I would not know that someone actually perceives me the way you do and I wouldn't know to be asking God to change those things in me. I am just so VERY thankful that He is willing to extend me more grace than you!! Years ago He revealed to me Matthew 7:2 "For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." So I know I don't want to be judged the same way I judge others, so believe me I am working on it!!

I posted this quote on my FB page last night because it was very convicting to my heart. I know I will need to read it over and over again in my future to keep everything in check. This is from Beth Moore.

My name is Pride, I am a cheater.
I cheat you of your God given destiny....because you demand your own way.
I cheat you of contentment....because you "deserve better than this".
I cheat you of knowledge....because you already know it all.
I cheat you of healing....because you're too full of me to forgive.
I cheat you of holiness....because you refuse to admit when you are wrong
I cheat you of vision....because you because you'd rather look in the mirror than out a window.
I cheat you of genuine friendship....because nobody's going to know the real you.
I cheat you of love....because you real romance demands sacrifice.
I cheat you of greatness in heaven....because you refuse to wash another's feet on earth.
I cheat you of God's glory....because I convince you to seek your own.
My name is Pride, I am a cheater.
You like me because you think I'm always looking out for you. Untrue.
I'm looking to make a fool of you.
God has so much for you, I admit, but don't worry....If you stick with me you'll never know!

Life and Death

Death is part of life, we all know that, but it is still not something we spend much time thinking about. Steve's mother, died on July 27th. Since this is the 2nd death we have experienced this year, we have spent more time not only thinking about it, but actually dealing with it. Fortunately, Steve's mother's passing was more peaceful than my Dad's, but nevertheless hard. Steve's brother emailed him on 7/14 and said he was going to take a couple of days off work to try and explore some options as his mother was no longer able to stay by herself. Steve had some commitments and told his brother he would come on Monday, but before he could get there his mother had gone to the hospital because she was having trouble breathing. By the time Steve arrived on Monday night they had diagonsed her with congestive heart failure and had ordered hospice for her. It was important for Steve and his brother that their mother be allowed to die at home. She had lived on the 10 acres in Omaha for almost all of her 87 years. The boys cared for her 24/7 and she died 8 days after coming home. Steve was with her when she passed and had just finished swabbing out her mouth.

Steve had thought it was best that I not accompany him on this trip. First of all my mother had been ill herself for about three weeks and he was concerned about my own health and the high temperatures and humidity in Omaha. I disagreed with him, but finally relented knowing he did not need to be worrying about me but be able to give all of his attention to his mother. While it was the right decision, once I learned they had put her in hospice I kept asking him if I could fly out, but he continued to say "no". Looking back on it, Steve still feels like it was the best decision and feels it gave him not only special time with his mom, but bonding time with his younger brother Russ. After praying for days and askng others to pray that God take Mary Jane home quickly, when she hadn't died by July 25th, I asked God to please not let her die on my birthday, the 26th. Seemed pretty selfish at the time and as I thought about it, it would have been kind of mind blowing to consider that in God's scheme of things He would have planned for me to be born and Steve's mother to die on the same day. But as it turned out, He did answer my prayer and she did not die until the 27th. I then flew out on the 28th.

Steve's mother had planned her funeral for years. She had been wanting to go home ever since her husband had died in 2004. Yet, all that she had planned had fallen apart. The funeral home had been torn down, her church had let her down and since she had not been able to attend for a few years because of failing health, no one visited her and they had a change in ministers, so she did not know the one that was there now. One thing she had always asked is that she not have an impersonable funeral. And finally the VFW where she wanted her reception was no longer renting it's facilities for such affairs. But God was very faithful over all the details and it all turned out in a way that we think she would have been very pleased with. The funeral home was great and we could not have asked for better staff. They had a minister on contract who was able to perform the ceremony and he did an amazing job. He even stepped up and offered to sing one of her hymns "Beyond the Sunset", because the funeral home could not find any appropriate renditions to play. And then the local VFW where she and her son had been eating meals every Tuesday and Friday for a couple of years let them hold her reception there, even though they were not members. Several ladies volunteered their time to set up the luncheon that we had catered and took care of all the clean up for us. We had plenty of food because Steve's mom had said to plan for 125 people and there were about 80 friends and family there. So all things considered, the service went as well as it could.

This is Steve, his brothers, sister in law, Kelly and cousin Mary

Steve and Russ with the hospice nurse, Danette, who came to visitation.

You cannot experience a funeral without contemplating your own death and your own funeral. My biggest takeway....is this, it is a blessing to be surrounded by friends and family, but I want my funeral to be a celebration of life and a praise service to God for who He is and what He has done in my life. No recorded music, I want the attendees to lift their voices in praise. That is why I am thankful for church family as I know they will be able to do that.

Steve's mother and I did not have a strong relationship. She didnt have a daughter, just three son's and I always felt my efforts to help her were viewed more of an intrusion. It is hard when you have to get to know someone from long distance. In the 21 1/2 years we were married, she never visited our home. I was probably in hers a dozen times. That is not much. But what I will always appreciate her for, is she raised my husband to be the wonderful man that he is. I could not have a more loving husband and when I knew I would not be able to say goodbye to her in person, I wrote Steve this email to read to her "Mom,

I am so sorry that I can not be there to give you a hug and kiss and tell you that I love you. I am so glad your three boys are there with you and I know that they bring you great comfort. I knew that you might have difficulty hearing me on the phone, so thought I would type out this note and let Steve read it to you. I just want to thank you for all the love you have given me the past 22 years. You have been such a sweet mother in law. The gift you have given me that I will always treasure the most is your sweet son Steve. Thank you for sharing him with me. Thank you for raising him to be such a great man. I knew what a wonderful husband he would be by the way he loved his mother. I have never questioned whether there was someone better out there for me, because I knew I had the very best. You are in my thoughts and in my prayers constantly, and I am asking my God to allow you to pass into His arms peacefully. I know that you are going to love being home and reunited with your sweet Herb. It brings me comfort to know that you will be in heaven where I will see you again one day. I can only pray that it will be soon for us as well. So I say goodbye with these words from Psalms 23 "The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever."

Missing My Father This Father's Day

They say that grief comes in waves and it is so true. I wasn't prepared for how hard this Father's Day would be without my father. Missed him on Thanksgiving, Christmas, his birthday, but wowser I really missed him today. Steve and I have always found Mother's Day and Father's Day a contemplative day anyway, because we were not blessed with children. But to add to it not having my father here to celebrate with made it even more difficult. I also felt so guilty because Steve's father has been gone for about 7 years and I never once realized how difficult this day was for him. Guess men just don't verbalize their feelings like we women do.

Anyway....I spent alot of the day sleeping in hopes that I would dream about my daddy, but I didn't. So being awake was better, because I could just think of some of my favorite memories.

Some of my favorite times with my dad were when we would go fishing together. He was always so patient with me, and while I could bait my own hook, he was always so good to clean my fish.

But my most favorite times were just sitting and talking about God and the Bible. He loved to preach and He had such a love for sharing God's Word. I wish I had recorded some of those conversations, or had some of his sermons. He was such a humble servant and never thought he was very eloquent. But he spoke volumes with his life. He was the epitomy of the old saying "I would rather see a sermon, than hear one anyday." He walked the walk.

The thing that helps the most is knowing Daddy is where he always longed to be, with His God. I can't wait to join him and hearing him singing bass (another dream of his). I am so thankful that I am left with so many memories to cherish and that I don't have any regrets and nothing was left undone. He knew I loved him and I knew he loved me.

In looking up the quote about the sermon, I found it is actually a poem and I post it in my Father's honor.

Sermons We See

Edgar Guest

I'd rather see a sermon than hear one any day;

I'd rather one should walk with me than merely tell the way.

The eye's a better pupil and more willing than the ear,

Fine counsel is confusing, but example's always clear;

And the best of all the preachers are the men who live their creeds,

For to see good put in action is what everybody needs.

I soon can learn to do it if you'll let me see it done;

I can watch your hands in action, but your tongue too fast may run.

And the lecture you deliver may be very wise and true,

But I'd rather get my lessons by observing what you do;

For I might misunderstand you and the high advise you give,

But there's no misunderstanding how you act and how you live.

When I see a deed of kindness, I am eager to be kind.

When a weaker brother stumbles and a strong man stays behind

Just to see if he can help him, then the wish grows strong in me.

To become as big and thoughtful as I know that friend to be.

And all travelers can witness that the best of guides today

Is not the one who tells them, but the one who shows the way.

One good man teaches many, men believe what they behold;

One deed of kindness noticed is worth forty that are told.

Who stands with men of honor learns to hold his honor dear,

For right living speaks a language which to every one is clear.

Though an able speaker charms me with his eloquence, I say,

I'd rather see a sermon than to hear one, any day.

Blessings In Suffering

In asking for topics women wanted to study in our summer Ladies class, one of the topics was God's reasons for suffering. I spent hours and hours reading and trying to decide how to address that topic. Some of the smartest philosophers in the world can't really answer the questions involved in suffering and whether it is from God or from Satan. If it is from Satan then why does God allow it? I even came across a new thought I had never heard of called Open Theism which suggest the future has not happened, so God does not know the future. I decided that everyone has their own conclusions and that the bottom line we pretty much have to work out the how's and why's in our own minds and for me it comes down to trust. Either I trust God is in control or not. Then the question will come up "how can a good God allow such bad things to happen and not intervene". Again, either I just trust His reasons or I don't. I choose to trust....atheists choose not to.

So I decided that the best course of action for this class was to focus on the benefits that come from suffering based on my experience. Although I did get some of the ideas from Joni Eareckson Tada and Randy Alcorn. I can't list all the verses I referenced because of limited space here, but if you would like the entire document you can email me at lynnleaming@comcast.net, and I would be glad to send it to you.

BENEFITS TO SUFFERING

1. Makes Me Participate With Jesus

Philippians 3:10-I

want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death.

2.

Makes Me More Like Jesus

2 Corinthians 4:8-10-We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.

3. Brings Me Into His Word/Teaches Me Obedience

Psalm 119:67-Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I obey your word.

Psalm 119:71-It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees

4. Refines Me

Isaiah 48:10-See, I have refined you, though not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction.

5. Humbles Me

Psalm 51:16-17-You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings. My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart.

6. Increases My Patience

Romans 12:12-Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. You, God, will not despise.

7. Teaches Me to Rejoice in God’s Provision

Psalm 68:19-Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens.

Isaiah 49:13-Shout for joy, you heavens; rejoice, you earth; burst into song, you mountains! For the LORD comforts his people and will have compassion on his afflicted ones.

8.Bolsters My Confidence In Prayer

Psalm 22:24-For he has not despised or scorned the suffering of the afflicted one; he has not hidden his face from him but has listened to his cry for help.

9.Develops My Prayer Life

Psalm 10:17-You, LORD, hear the desire of the afflicted; you encourage them, and you listen to their cry.

Psalm 72:12-For he will deliver the needy who cry out, the afflicted who have no one to help.

10. Increases My Dependence On God

Psalm 119:50-My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life.

2 Corinthians 12:9-But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

11. Teaches Me Strength

Joel 3:10-Let the weakling say, “I am strong!”

2 Corinthians 12:10-That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

12. Helps Me Look Forward to Heaven

Romans 8:18-I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.

2 Corinthians 4:17-For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.

2 Timothy 2:12-If we endure, we will also reign with him.

13.Allows God To Use Me As His Instrument

2 Corinthians 1:3-7-Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.

Knowing God

For the past several weeks I have been contemplating the difference between Knowing God and Knowing About God. I think as I evaluate my own life that I know quite a bit about God, but I don't really know God. You might be asking, "what is the difference"? That is exactly what I have been asking as well. Being raised by a Christian mother ensured that I would be a "church goer", so I have heard about God for as long as I can remember. I can tell you numerous Bible stories that I have learned over the years. All these stories show how God was involved in the life of whatever character is being discussed. So you can read those stories and think "that was cool" or "that was really harsh". I don't think I have read those stories asking myself, "so what does this tell me about God?" Or perhaps the better question is what does God want to reveal about Himself to me through this story, because I do believe that two people can read the same story and get something completely different from it. Bottom line is that every story in the Bible is a story about a relationship with God.

So if my life story was written what would it tell others about me and God? I have gone to church all my life, I have taught bible class most of my life. I have been in numerous Bible studies. But I must confess that most of the time I have done those things out of obligation to God, not out of relationship. It is what I am supposed to do. Where is the hunger? Where is the thirst? When do I grow to the point that I want to be in the Word because I realize that it is the very breath that I breathe and I cannot live without it? Job 23:12 says "I have treasured the word of thy mouth more than my bread". David says in Psalms 42:1 "as the deer pants for the water, so my soul pants after you, O Lord." I wish I could say the same. I wish I had that same kind of hunger and thirst.

I read quotes in books, listen to songs, read blogs and there are so many other people that have a much deeper faith than I do. All I know is that God promises to give us the desires of our heart in Psalm 37:4 if our delight is in Him. So I will continue to ask Him if I might know Him deeper and to hunger and thirst after Him and perhaps one day I will be able to say with all sincerity "I long for you God as much as I long for the next breath I will take."

Two days ago I came across this blog http://mabeecolwell.weebly.com/ written by a father who was getting ready to say goodbye to his 3 week old child and I yearned to have the kind of faith that this dad has. He joins my list of Heroes of Faith who I try to learn from. The reality is each of us can only know God through our own heart, not the heart of another, but if I didn't know there was a deeper level, I wouldn't know what to pray for.

Heavenly Praise

Still wondering why there were so many more jokes about the prediction of the rapture, than actual disappointment that it did not happen? I wondered if one of the reasons we don't think of heaven much is that we have quit singing about heaven? When is the last time you sang any of these old hymns?

1. When We All Get To Heaven

2. I'll Fly Away

3. This World Is Not My Home

4. Above The Bright Blue

5. Heaven Is A Wonderful Place

6. No Tears In Heaven

7. How Beautiful Heaven Must Be

8. When The Roll Is Called Up Yonder

9. We're Marching To Zion

10. Sweet By and By

11. How Beautiful Heaven Must Be

12. Glory Land Way

13. Mansion Over The Hilltop

14. Beautiful Isle of Somewhere

15. Jesus Is Coming Soon

16. We Shall See The King Someday

17. Beulah Land

18. I'll Be Somewhere Listening

In this day of "worship songs" our songs are more songs directed towards God. I love the new worship songs. But I sure don't want to forget the great hymns that I was raised on either. I am sure there are other songs about Heaven. These are just the ones I could think of off the top of my head. Funny thing is when I think back on singing them, there are several of them I just did not enjoy singing and it seemed like we sang them so much, and yet now that we don't sing them, I still can sing at least a verse or two of all of these. I do remember wondering why when we did sing them not many people seemed very happy by the expression on their face.

Maybe I am the only one that needs to remind myself "This world is not my home, I am just passing through"....I don't want to get so comfortable here that I no longer long to go home. So hopefully I will keep singing about Heaven and with a big smile on my face.

P.S. When I told Steve about this post, he told me to be sure and not forget his favorite "Off We Go Into The Wild Blue Yonder"..........and like you I just rolled my eyes :-)

Second Coming

There have been all sorts of jokes circulating this week about the May 21st prediction of the rapture. I have been surprised at how many Christians have been posting on Facebook silly comments about that and so many responding to the posts in jest. I don't think anyone is intentionally meaning any harm by these, but nonetheless I have been bothered.

First of all, the people that are part of the Harold Camping Judgement Day movement actually believe what they are promoting. They aren't just trying to get noticed or get press. They truly believe that the Lord is going to come again on May 21st. If He doesn't come, imagine their disappointment. Imagine the way Satan will use it to show them that their faith is not worth anything. Don't get me wrong. I don't think we can predict when the Lord is coming. I think there are too many verses that lead us to believe that no one knows the day or the hour, not even the Lord Himself. (Matthew 24:26) And that it will be like a thief coming in the night (I Thessalonians 5:2). But I just don't think we should make light of those who are believing in error the teachings of Harold Camping. I think we should be praying for them.

Another problem with what is going on, is it is just another way for the "world" to laugh at Christianity. Another radical idea from the Christian right. An opportunity for us to show a true Jesus response and instead for the rest of the word to see, we are making jokes about it.

When is the last time any of us looked at the skies in anticipation of our Lord coming again? To be honest, I for one pray Camping is right. Am I preparing for it? Not anymore than I prepare for it any day.....wait a minute...exactly how am I prepared??? If I honestly believed that today was the day Jesus was coming back how would I live life differently? The main thing is I would be begging my family members that don't know Him to turn to Him as I don't want any of them to be lost. So what am I waiting for? I don't want to offend anyone, I don't want them to think I am pushy, I don't want them to not want to be around me, so I don't say anything in hopes that they will just see my life as different and decide on their own they want a relationship with the Lord. Other than that, I would just be on my knees praying for the Lord's mercy and that He will find me worthy to take home. I know there is nothing more I can do at this point. Either Jesus blood covers me or it doesn't. I wish I could say I would just be on my knees with my hands outstretched to heaven waiting for Him in all confidence that I would be going home. Do I have doubts.....not really....but at the same time I think I would still be begging for mercy because while I know I am a blood soaked sinner, I am still a sinner. Have I a done enough? Absolutely not....will I be judged on what I have done? Yes and no. I will never be able to do enough and we cannot work for our salvation. But has my love for the Lord spurred me to serve Him to my fullest capacity, could I do more? Yes, yes, yes.

Why is it that we want to stay here more than we want to go home? Instead of joking about it, why aren't we praying that it is the day? Have we forgotten that "this world is not our home"?

Not me....I am ready. I want to go home. I want to see my God, my Savior. I want to see my heroes of faith, I want to see my Dad. So in a way I will be just as disappointed on the 22nd if I wake up and the Lord has not called me home as Harold Camping. But perhaps I will then keep my eye on the sky and be more active in making sure I am telling as many others as possible about His coming so a few more will go with me, if we do have a little more time.

My Mama'

Yes, Mother's Day has come and gone, it has been awhile since I had a "mama post" and I wanted to honor her with one for Mother's Day. But then things have been pretty crazy busy since then and I just didn't have time to post...so now things have settled down and I thought I would write this post about my mom.

My mother and I have been blessed with a special relationship for 57 years. She has been such a strong influence in my life. If it weren't for her I would not know the Lord or have the relationship with Him that I have. She was always faithful to take us to church and teach us about the Lord, even if it meant going by herself. She has faced more adversity than anyone I know in terms of deaths in her family and yet her faith has remained strong.

She did not even have a high school diploma, but when she was forced to go back to work when I was about 12, she found a job that supported three children and then ended up teaching her self the skills required to be a church secretary.

She was always an amazing hostess who loved to cook and entertain. If she told you to come at 6:00 for dinner, it was ready the minute the doorbell rang. Fortunately, my husband thinks that I am a good cook because of the things she taught me. Although, I am still not as good at organization and having everything exactly so when company comes through the door.

My mom is one of the most selfless people I know, always putting everyone elses needs before her own. She has been a mainstay for me in my recovery the last 10 years. I remember in Dallas that she overcame her fear of driving on the freeways just to come and sit with me at the hospital which wasn't close to our house. Then when I finally was able to come home from the hospital she faithfully provided meals and cleaned my house for months until I could do so. But to this day if I am having a "big" function she comes and helps however I need her to.

My heart broke for my mom in September when she lost the love of her life. It has been so difficult watching her be so lost without him. They had such a wonderful marriage, and she was really his partner in ministry. For the last five years she had been such a wonderful care giver. Her heart has been broken and there is nothing I can do. For Mother's Day we did get her a Shih Tzu puppy in hopes that he could give her a little companionship. His name is Yoshi and they have become instant friends.

I could go on and on and on....let me end by just listing some of my favorite memories of my mom.

1. Our times of prayer together and talks about God and all things faith.

2. The way she used to dress us alike.

3. Wonderful holidays and celebrations. A major love of Christmas, and even after she outgrew it she helps me decorate to the nines because she knows I love it!

4. Making hamburgers and going to see Elvis movies at the Drive-In movies.

5. Being my traveling companion and our trips to NY, Bush Gardens, The Madonna Inn, etc.

6. Fun camping trips and catching trout and Dolly Varden

7. Playing games.....Spades, Uno, Sequence, Wii

8. Doing retreats together where she was the speaker and I was the worship leader.

9. Her being my biggest fan and cheerleader, no matter what I was doing

10. The countless times she forgave me for my mistakes, hurtful things said, tones of voice, etc.

Once again I could probably go on and on. Thank you Mama' for being the best Mother a daugther could ask for. Thank you for your unconditional love and the way you have poured the love of our Heavenly Father all over me. Thank you for showing me what faith looks like in the good times and the bad. Thank you for helping me keep my eyes on the prize. I am so thankful that you and I will share eternity together and look forward to the day we not only get to see our Savior, but we get to be with Daddy again.

Our Royal Wedding

So they say 3 Billion people watched the Royal Wedding today. Why is it that we are so fascinated with the royal family of England? There are 23 other countries that are ruled by a queen or king. If it had been the son of Queen Margrethe II of Denmark getting married would there still have been such a big hoopla? It was a lovely ceremony and filled with many references to God. I hope the 3 billion people watching heard the words to the hymns that were song, the verses from Romans 12 that were read and the prayers that were prayed. What an opportunity for the Lord to be proclaimed. Of course being the cynic I am, I can't help but wonder how much more of an impact could have been made if William and Kate had not been already been living together before they got married?
I read an article today that said 4 in 10 Americans think that marriage is becoming obsolete. Dr. John Sentamu, the Archbishop of York, backed the William and Kate's decision to live together and stated, "that many modern couples want to test the milk before they buy the cow". It does seem to be true that more and more couples think it is okay to "test the waters" before they take the plunge. So as I listened to William and Kate's prayer that God bless their marriage, I wondered if God accepted their plea? Did the fact that they got married wipe away their sin of fornication?

Not sure why I am blogging about this? I couldn't help but wonder how many of the 3 Billion people are anxiously awaiting our Bridegroom and contemplating our marriage in heaven with our Lord Jesus Christ? Talk about a true Royal Wedding!! Our eternal marriage to the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.

"Then I heard what sounded like a great multitude, like a roar of rushing waters and like loud peals of thunder, shouting: "Hallelujah, for the Lord Almighty reigns. Let us rejoice and be glad and give Him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and His bride has made herself ready. Fine linen, bright and clean was given to hear to wear. (fine linen stands for the righteous acts of God's holy people) Then the angel said to me, 'Blessed are those who are invited to the wedding supper of the Lamb!' and he added, 'These are the true words of God.'"

Revelation 19:6-9

Marital Bliss

42 years ago today God did some of His most amazing work in my life by bringing my mom and dad together in marriage. I was 15 at the time. In an effort to honor my mother, I won't talk about her marriage prior to that. Suffice it to say it was not good and she was not loved the way she deserved to be loved. God redeemed that brokenness in an amazing and complete way. She was blessed to be married to one of the Godliest men I know. He loved His Lord and he loved spreading His Word. He didn't just "talk the talk", he "walked the walk". He loved my mom and honored her in a way that all children dream of. When the Lord is at the center of one's heart, He will be at the center of their marriage.

I know that everyone that loses their spouse grieves and goes through a difficult time, but I think my mom has a harder road than most. When I was a junior in college my dad, quit his occupation of sheet metal worker and entered Sunset School of Preaching. Upon graduation, they moved to Parma, Idaho, population 1,800. The church was round 75 people. They ministered there for 15 years. Notice I say "they ministered". Yes, my dad did preach and teach every Sunday, but the two of them ministered to that church and the community. They were together all the time. Unlike other ministers who office at the church building, their house was right across the street from the building and my dad officed at the house. Then in the late 80's God called them into a ministry as traveling evangelist. They lived in a 5th wheel and traveled throughout Idaho, Wyoming and Montana ministering to small churches who could not afford a full time preacher.

While they had a nice 5th wheel, it was still a 5th wheel. Not much room to escape each other in a 5th wheel. And for 10 years they would go from town to town ministering and blessing churches and communities. Until my father's health began failing and he was no longer able to preach or travel, and they moved closer to Steve and I in Texas. Because of the way they had chose to live and minister, they did not have a lot of money, so they were not able to retire to a big house with land in the country as they would have dreamed, but in a small 2 room apartment. But you never heard them complain. And they just got busy in the small town of Gunter in blessing that church with their talents as well. They were there about five years before it became necessary to move them even closer to Steve and I and more importantly to the VA where my dad was in need of more regular treatment. Gunter was about an hour away, but now they would be 3 minutes away. We found them a small condo.

In 2005 my Dad began having strokes, the first two major ones happening during church service in which the paramedics had to be called and that caused him to be shy about going to services again for the fear of being a disruption, so he and my mom stayed home, but never failed to worship as they spent time listening to several different TV evangelist and having communion together and praying. Even though my Dad couldn't get out, he never lost his love for the Word and he and my mom would sit everyday just talking about God with one another. It was nothing for them to spend hours at a time doing so.

That is why I say my mom's road has been harder. They were together almost 24/7 for most of those years. They were truly "soul mates". My heart hurts so much for her, as I know how much she misses him. But she continues to face each day and even more so days like today (their anniversary) with courage and strength. Knowing that He is enjoying his days with our Lord does help and knowing that we will see him again one day gives us the hope we need to keep on keeping on. But as I sit here with Steve sitting beside me and we talk and visit, I don't take for granted the blessing that that time is and realize how hard it would be if it were just me and the television. I thank God for allowing me to see what it looks like when He is at the center of a marriage and two hearts are as one in service to Him. I thank Him for His plan and bringing my parents together and His plan that they would be my biggest heroes of faith. But I pray more fervently these days that He sends His Son to take us home quickly so that my mom can be reunited with her love and we can all be in the presence of our Heavenly Father, the one we love most of all.

Needed Reminders

My friend Joyce sent an email today with some very needed reminders for me today. I just get too wrapped up in the everyday of life too often and forget what is the most important. I think I would definitely be Martha in the Mary and Martha story, and how often Jesus must say "Lynn, Lynn choose what is the better". The original article had 1-8, and then two things I didn't think were relevant, so I created 9-15.

Ten (I made it 15) things God will not ask me on the last day:

1. God will not ask what kind of car I drove BUT how many people I gave a ride to who didn't have transportation.
2. God will not ask me the square footage of my home, BUT how many people I welcomed into my home.
3. God will not ask about the clothes in my closet, BUT how many people I helped to clothe.
4. God will not ask about the highest salary I obtained, BUT what did I compromise to get it.
5. God will not ask what my job title was, BUT did I do my job to the best of my ability.
6. God will not ask how many friends I had, BUT how many was I a friend to.
7. God will not ask about the neighborhood I lived in, BUT how did I treat my neighbors?
8. God will not ask about the color of my skin BUT the content of my character.
9. God will not ask me about my favorite recipe, BUT how many people did I feed.
10. God will not ask me how many books did I read, BUT did I love His book more than any other?
11. God will not ask me how many children did I have, BUT are my children faithfully following Him.
12. God will not ask me about how much money I had, BUT how much I gave to the poor.
13. God will not ask me how many years I was married, BUT did I love, honor and respect my husband the years I was married.
14. God will not ask me how many times I attended church BUT did I love Him with all my heart, soul, mind and strength.
15. God will not ask did I write a good blog BUT did I put into practice what I preached.

I watched a documentary about Mother Theresa over the weekend, and once again was reminded, that there is so much more I could be doing to be making a difference in this world. I need to get out of my comfort zone and be more active in the kingdom of God. I want to stand before Him one day, knowing I was willing to be used by Him however He called me.

Then yesterday we had a guest speaker at church, Buddy Bell, that talked about our need to have a passion for the Lord and a vision for doing His calling.

So like God often does 3 days in a row He sends me the same message. Guess I just don't get it the first time. But he is saying "Lynn get busy and do something". I am praying my reply is the same as Isaiah "Here I am Lord, send me".

Moment By Moment

In Bible Study Fellowship this morning we sang this song that I had never heard before "moment By Moment". This is a song that I need to memorize. The truths are so simple, yet so powerful. If only I could trust Jesus every minute of every hour to be all that I need Him to be. There is not one need that I have that He cannot take care of, if I would just lay it at His feet.
Why is that so hard for me to do? There are just as many scriptures that speak these truths.
God wants to be near to me and wants me to rely on Him as I rely on air to breathe. I pray that I can commit these truths to my heart and live life accordingly.

Moment By Moment
Daniel W. Whittle, 1893

Dying with Jesus, by death reckoned mine;
Living with Jesus, a new life divine;
Looking to Jesus till glory doth shine,
Moment by moment, O Lord, I am Thine.

Moment by moment I'm kept in His love;
Moment by moment I've life from above;
Looking to Jesus till glory doth shine;
Moment by moment, O Lord, I am Thine

Never a trial that He is not there,
Never a burden that He does not bear,
Never a sorrow that He does not share,
Moment by moment, I'm under His care.

Never a heartache, and never a groan,
Never a teardrop and never a moan;
Never a danger but there on the throne,
Moment by moment He thinks of His own.

Never a weakness that He does not feel,
Never a sickness that He cannot heal;
Moment by moment, in woe or in weal, (had to look weal up, it means well)
Jesus my Savior, abides with me still.

Moment by moment, I'm kept in His love,
Moment by moment, I've life from above.
Looking to Jesus till glory doth shine,
Moment by moment, O Lord I am thine.

God's Word Is Powerful

Priscilla McNabb sent me this link today about the people in Indonesia recieving the Bible for the first time in their native language. I was so humbled in watching it realizing that there are many days I don't even pick up one of the plethora of Bibles that I have in my house. God forgive me. I repent of my complacency and ask my God to renew my excitement to commune with Him each day and hear what He has to say to me. God you are so awesome to talk to me in such remarkable ways.

file://vimeo.com/16493505

Our First Christmas After

Well, Christmas is now over and it is a New Year. We missed my father terribly, but we made it through. It helped that we were with family and especially small children that we could focus on. I am so thankful for the extra time I got with my mother. Steve is so sweet and supportive and doesn't mind the extra time I was either away with us shopping or going to the movies, or just her coming and spending the night at the house. The best part of my relationship with my mother is the spiritual connnection we share. We get to have some great conversations and some really special times in prayer together.

I had seen these "memorials" on line and I thought about buying her one, and then I said "you can write one yourself". So I did. It was important to me that she know that Daddy was not forgotten this holiday and she wasn't the only one still missing him.

He was your life,
You were his dear wife.
“Till death do we part”
You pledged from the start.

How hard that reality would be
You could not have known,
When he went home to His Lord
And you were left here alone.

So many good times the two of you did share,
But having them and not him is so hard to bear.
You miss his sweet voice and holding his hand
How do you go on without your best friend?

You have known so much happiness,
You have had your cup full of joy,
And your memories are a gift from God
That death cannot destroy.

May you feel God’s arms around you
as He gently shows the way,
As He wraps you in His arms of comfort
And gives you strength for each new day.

Your memories are your keepsake
with which you’ll never part,
God has Daddy in His safe keeping
You’ll always have him in your heart.

He gives you His assurance
heavenly reunions there will be,
Eternity with Him you can be certain
and Daddy’s face again you’ll see

Love So Amazing

Sometimes I stop long enough to actually contemplate God's love for me and it takes my breath away. I wish I could express it as well as some of the musical artist out there. About a week ago I was getting dressed and the lyrics of a song caught my attention. I thought I could remember them and look them up later, but I haven't been able to find them, as I was looking for "what kind of king"....then this morning I heard it again and made sure I wrote it down. It is by a group I have never heard of before, Downhere and called "How Many Kings?"...the lyrics are amazing and have made me once again realize how great the Father's love is for me. I am so glad that nothing I do or don't do can cause Him to love me any more or any less. Thank you God. This has quickly become my new favorite song.

Christmas Cards

I usually buy my Christmas Cards when they go on sale after Christmas for the following year. I started many years ago trying to pick a card that has a great message about Christ and not just a fun Christmas or Winter scene. It might be the only chance that some of the people I send the card to hear anything about my Lord and the reason for the season.

This year I decided I might need more cards than what I bought last year since we moved and now I need to add some Texas friends to my list. So while at Walmart yesterday I decided to see if I could find a card I liked. Imagine my surprise when Walmart's displays were all labeled Holiday cards. The ones that had a spiritual message were called Inspirational cards. Holiday cards?? I didn't see any for Valentines or Easter, just Christmas cards....why is it that Christmas is the only day of celebration that is now a holiday? Because no other holiday as the word Christ associated with it. You don't see Happy Holiday on an Easter card. So why can't Walmart just label the cards as what they are....Christmas Cards? I wonder if Walmart and all the other stores that have removed Christmas from their advertising realize that the word Holiday is actually derived from "holy day"? Political correctness....if there are Hanukah cards, Kwanza cards, and Holiday cards, why can't there also be a section called Christmas cards? So I just didn't buy any of Walmart's Holiday cards and went to Hobby Lobby and found some cute Christmas cards entitled "Sharing The Story". Thought they were perfect as that is what I want to do with my Christmas cards is share the story.

Walking In Daddy's Shoes

When we were little we always tried to walk in our parent’s shoes. We’ve all seen those pictures of those little feet in those big shoes. We could never dream that we would ever be able to fill those shoes.
(this is my niece Alyssa in her Grandy's boots)
Today is the 2 month anniversary of my Daddy’s homegoing and I was just thinking of the big spiritual shoes he left to fill. My mom gave me a pair of his boots that I have sitting in my bedroom and each time I walk by them I am reminded of the big shoes that I have to fill. I am not sure I ever will, but it does keep me humble and give me something to aim for.

My father was one of the most spiritual men that I have ever known. He loved his God with every fiber of his being and found no greater joy than when he was able to share His Word with others, or just sit and talk to you one on one about a passage that He had read and what it meant to him. We had some great conversations and some great prayer time together. Others may talk to their dads about politics or sports or the weather, but our talks were mostly spiritual and had to do with what God was doing in our lives. What a blessing that was and how I miss those times!

So today in his honor, I wrote this poem:

Walking In Daddy’s Shoes

My sweet Daddy you left such big shoes to fill
When it comes to being a Christian you were the real deal.
Loving your heavenly Father with all of your heart
Pouring His love out on me right from the start.

There has been that saying “what would Jesus do?”
To watch you would give me a very good clue?
You loved God’s Word, studied it through and through
My best memories are talking about His Word and praying with you.

I can only hope that one day my heart will be pure like yours,
I want to resist Satan, his temptations and his lures.
I want to be kindhearted, compassionate with grace flowing deep,
Like you I want no unkind word from my lips ever to seep.

I want to love Steve with the love you had for mother,
To be faithful to him always with a love for no other.
Watching you love made me always believe,
If I prayed and I waited I too would receive.

I want to live my life in a way that other’s will say
Her daddy must be proud when he looks down on her today,
Her love for her Heavenly Father is obviously real
In part from those big shoes her earthy father left her to fill.

I love you Daddy with all of my heart,
So sad that God's plan was for us to part.
But I know where you are and where I will be
And yearn for the day when you again I will see.

Joy

In Ladies Bible Class we are studying Beth Moore's study "Stepping Up" on the Psalms of ascent. Today's lesson was on the Feast of Tabernacles and what a time of rejoicing that was for the children of Israel. Beth was so very excited to share the things that the Lord had taught her. She made this comment "sometimes I am so full of joy, I think my face will explode and skin will be plastered to the wall" I thought to myself "When have I ever been that full of joy"? When have I ever been so excited about what God has told me in His Word or has whispered in my ear that I was so full of joy it just spilled on anyone that came my way? Better question is "what is it that holds me back"? I am praying that my heart will be transformed into the heart of the Psalmist in Psalms 145:

1 I will exalt you, my God the King;
I will praise your name for ever and ever.
2 Every day I will praise you
and extol your name for ever and ever.
3 Great is the LORD and most worthy of praise;
his greatness no one can fathom.
4 One generation commends your works to another;
they tell of your mighty acts.
5 They speak of the glorious splendor of your majesty—
and I will meditate on your wonderful works.[b]
6 They tell of the power of your awesome works—
and I will proclaim your great deeds.
7 They celebrate your abundant goodness
and joyfully sing of your righteousness.
8 The LORD is gracious and compassionate,
slow to anger and rich in love.
9 The LORD is good to all;
he has compassion on all he has made.
10 All your works praise you, LORD;
your faithful people extol you.
11 They tell of the glory of your kingdom
and speak of your might,
12 so that all people may know of your mighty acts
and the glorious splendor of your kingdom.
13 Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom,
and your dominion endures through all generations.
The LORD is trustworthy in all he promises
and faithful in all he does.
14 The LORD upholds all who fall
and lifts up all who are bowed down.
15 The eyes of all look to you,
and you give them their food at the proper time.
16 You open your hand
and satisfy the desires of every living thing.
17 The LORD is righteous in all his ways
and faithful in all he does.
18 The LORD is near to all who call on him,
to all who call on him in truth.
19 He fulfills the desires of those who fear him;
he hears their cry and saves them.
20 The LORD watches over all who love him,
but all the wicked he will destroy.
21 My mouth will speak in praise of the LORD.
Let every creature praise his holy name
for ever and ever.

Giving Thanks

I don't know about you but I am so guilty of getting caught in all the trappings of the holidays, that I actually spend very little time thinking about the true meaning of the holidays. The last few years I have done better about actually celebrating my Jesus at Christmas, but this year I thought perhaps I needed to do more to embrace Thanksgiving. Thanks to Facebook, lots of people have been posting what they are thankful for, so I thought I would just brainstorm here and see how many things I could come up with in ten minutes??

1. I am thankful for a God who loves me unconditionally.
2. I am thankful that I am a recipient of every spiritual blessing in Christ Jesus.
3. I am thankful for the home that is awaiting me.
2. I am thankful for a husband who loves that God and therefore loves me
unconditionally
3. I am thankful for a father who is now with my God and for all the love he
poured out on me.
4. I am thankful for a mother who chooses to continue to trust God and allow Him to
be her God of all comfort.
5. I am thankful for a mother who instilled faith into my heart and showed me who
God is. I am thankful that she and I can pray together and study the Word
together.
6. I am thankful for family that keeps life interesting.
7. I am thankful for the myriad of friends God has blessed me with who make this
life journey so much fuller.
8. I am thankful for the gifts and abilities God has blessed me with that allow me
to participate in ministry.
9. I am thankful for the physical blessings God has given me: a home, food,
clothes, cars and a computer to blog with :-)
10. I am thankful for the beauty of this earth, especially now what I see everyday
in Colorado
11. I am thankful for our new small group.
12. I am thankful for my old small group.
13. I am thankful for men and women of God who have the gift of writing that help me
grow deeper in my faith
14. I am thankful for the doctors God has used to give me healing
15. I am thankful for the drugs which help me be able to function in my pain.
16. I am thankful for those that have the gift of music and how their music and
lyrics bless my soul.
17. I am thankful for Facebook and being able to stay in touch and be back in touch
with those who no longer live near

So that is it for 10 minutes. I am sure there is so much more. Perhaps I should have just said I would see how long I could go. Now the real test is not to just use ten minutes to make a list, but to recognize the things that are around me every minute of every day to be thankful for. And while I am at it....thanks to those of you who still take the time to drop by and read these words....you keep me humble.

May you all have a wonderful season of Thanksgiving.