For the past several weeks I have been contemplating the difference between Knowing God and Knowing About God. I think as I evaluate my own life that I know quite a bit about God, but I don't really know God. You might be asking, "what is the difference"? That is exactly what I have been asking as well. Being raised by a Christian mother ensured that I would be a "church goer", so I have heard about God for as long as I can remember. I can tell you numerous Bible stories that I have learned over the years. All these stories show how God was involved in the life of whatever character is being discussed. So you can read those stories and think "that was cool" or "that was really harsh". I don't think I have read those stories asking myself, "so what does this tell me about God?" Or perhaps the better question is what does God want to reveal about Himself to me through this story, because I do believe that two people can read the same story and get something completely different from it. Bottom line is that every story in the Bible is a story about a relationship with God.
So if my life story was written what would it tell others about me and God? I have gone to church all my life, I have taught bible class most of my life. I have been in numerous Bible studies. But I must confess that most of the time I have done those things out of obligation to God, not out of relationship. It is what I am supposed to do. Where is the hunger? Where is the thirst? When do I grow to the point that I want to be in the Word because I realize that it is the very breath that I breathe and I cannot live without it? Job 23:12 says "I have treasured the word of thy mouth more than my bread". David says in Psalms 42:1 "as the deer pants for the water, so my soul pants after you, O Lord." I wish I could say the same. I wish I had that same kind of hunger and thirst.
I read quotes in books, listen to songs, read blogs and there are so many other people that have a much deeper faith than I do. All I know is that God promises to give us the desires of our heart in Psalm 37:4 if our delight is in Him. So I will continue to ask Him if I might know Him deeper and to hunger and thirst after Him and perhaps one day I will be able to say with all sincerity "I long for you God as much as I long for the next breath I will take."
Two days ago I came across this blog http://mabeecolwell.weebly.com/ written by a father who was getting ready to say goodbye to his 3 week old child and I yearned to have the kind of faith that this dad has. He joins my list of Heroes of Faith who I try to learn from. The reality is each of us can only know God through our own heart, not the heart of another, but if I didn't know there was a deeper level, I wouldn't know what to pray for.
2 comments:
Lynn,
Thank you for sharing the honest desire of your heart. I too share your feelings. I would not trade for the world being raised by Godly parents, but sometimes when we have grown up with something so sweet and precious, we don't yearn for it because it is already ours. The other day while going through a particularly painful procedure, I thought, I cannot do this just with prayer so I actually visualized Jesus laying in that bed beside me. It was a precious moment I won't soon forget. Maybe, just maybe, that is why we sometimes experience hardship so that we will really NEED him. Love you friend.
I so agree with you Karen!! I remember envisioning climbing up in Jesus'lap and letting Him stroke my hair. Have you ever heard Dennis Jernigan's song "If I could just sit with you awhile"...Thinking of you and praying for you during this difficult journey you are on. May Jesus crawl up beside you and hold you all the way through it!! Love you too!
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