Second Frame

Well yesterday we had computer problems and I wasn't able to access the internet. Amazing how lost I felt not being able to read my daily blogs???? I actually had to sit and read a book. Maybe it should go down more often??

Today my mom and I went to "Neath the Wreath" at the Plano Center. Wow! I had no idea there were so many women free on a Friday! It was so crowded! But that didn't keep me from buying a few things. I found a picture I could not resist that says "I believe in the sun, even when it is not shining, in love even when I'm alone and in God even He is silent". They say this saying was etched on the walls of a Nazi prison camp. Of course it just spoke of my journey and I had to have it and now it hangs on the wall right by my chair I sit in most of the time. I saw another saying that I liked, but didn't buy it. "When you stumble, make it part of the dance". I thought it was good as well. I just always need help in looking at things from the postitive point of view.

So back to my journey story. We were thrilled when the frame came off so far ahead of schedule and were praising God for His mercy and care. I was getting back to work and actually worked up to 30 hours and things seemed to finally be getting back on track. Then came the bad news. My bone was bending. The doctor described it like a young tree. While it was healed it just wasn't strong enough yet to support me walking so I had to go back into the second frame. Emotionally this was so difficult, physically not so much. I knew what to expect, although this time the tightening of the screws was more painful because there were several more and we were now twisting the bone back instead of moving it down. I didn't have to go to rehab this time. But emotionally I was back on the roller coaster. The "why's" plagued me again. I had given God all the glory and praise for healing me ahead of schedule so why tease me? Why make me think it was sooner, when really it would end up being longer than first said? It just seemed like a cruel twist. Yet I kept telling myself "God is good".

I have said it before but for me what was important is that I kept reminding myself of the truths about God, not focus on what I was feeling. Feelings are so deceptive. But truth is truth and we either believe it or we don't. I am still not 100% at being able to do this, but I am continually reminding myself of the truth. I don't know how much longer it will take for me to not worry that something else is going to go wrong? But this I do know, whatever is yet to come I will be able come through it as well. I am a fighter and as I said in an earlier post, I know the Lord has spared my life because He has a purpose for me. I would like it to be crystal clear as to what it is, but I will wait patiently while He continues to reveal it.