Speaking Truth When Truth Is Hard

Some days you struggle with blogging.  This would be one of those days.  The last two days my Facebook feed has been saturated with a red equal sign symbol.  (Tried to post it here, but couldn't get it to work)

It is suppose to represent equality for homosexuals.  Since the Supreme Court is addressing the issue of same-sex marriage, people posted this symbol to show that they were in favor of same-sex marriage.  The more and more I saw the symbol pop up the more and more heart broken I was that so many have bought into the propaganda and the lie.  So for what it is worth these are some of my thoughts on the issue.  I have posted four times before on homosexuality, but the last time was 2010, so perhaps there will be a new reader or something new from my heart on this.

First of all, I don't know how such a small percentage of people have gained such a large voice?  The facts as best as I can find them, state that the homosexual population is less than 5%. "A Gallup report published in October 2012 by the Williams Institute reported that 3.4% of US adults identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender. Minorities were more likely to identify as non-heterosexual; 4.6% of blacks, 4.0% of Hispanics and 3.2% of whites. Younger people, aged 18-29, were three times more likely to identify as LGBT than seniors over the age of 65, the numbers being 6.4% and 1.9%, respectively."  Here is another source "The University of Chicago’s National Opinion Research Center, which has been conducting scientifically designed surveys on homosexuality for close to 30 years – far longer than the U.S. Census Bureau – found the percentage of gays, lesbians, and bisexuals in the United States in 2008 was 2 percent – a number that has been stable since the late ‘80s, according to Tom Smith, director of the General Social Survey at NORC."

I am not sure what I want to say with this post.  I have posted enough scriptures in the past that there is really nothing more to say than the Bible is clear when it comes to God's thinking about homosexuality.  So I think my question is "how do Christians teach the truth of God's Word in an honest and effective way?"  Too many times we see pictures of  people holding up signs that have inflaming words on them and purport that God will send homosexuals to hell.  Do such people honestly think they are changing anyone's mind with such displays?  I don't think so.

The truth of the matter is we are told that the world will know us as Christians by the the way we love.

"By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." John 13:35 "My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you." John 15:12  But loving people doesn't mean we have to accept them just as they are.  I am over weight. In fact the doctor says I am "morbidly obese".  I don't like hearing that, but it is the truth.  People that love me are concerned for my health and they will ask me what I am doing about losing weight.  Am I dieting, am I exercising, have I tried this or that?  Do I like it when they do this?  Not so much, but I understand their concern.  

We definitely need to create room in our lives for homosexual friendships.  We definitely need to find ways to get them into our fellowships at church.  However, loving them means speaking Truth. 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 states "Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.  And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God."  Did you see that? SOME OF YOU WERE.  Why did they change? Because they heard the Word of God preached by Paul and others and then they were washed, sanctified and justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ.

Loving homosexuals is not putting up an equality sign on Facebook and aligning ourselves with their cause.  It is speaking Truth into their lives the same way we need it spoken into our own lives.  We need to be saturating the heavens with prayer right now, begging God to speak into the hearts of the Supreme Court and have them not try to redefine what God has already put in place with marriage.  It isn't going to change what marriage is, it is going to cause judgement to come down on our country.  We only have to look at Sodom and Gomorrah to see what happens when corruption runs rampant.  God is definitely a God of grace, mercy and compassion but we must never forget He is also a God of wrath and judgment.  Satan is blinding us all by telling us it is an equal rights issue and everyone should have the right to love and be loved.  Everyone is loved by an Almighty God who sent His son to die a brutal death on the cross for each one of them.  There is no greater love than that!!  So let's align ourselves with that love and show the world what a life transformed by that love looks like! Then as we have opportunity let us speak Truth.

They Will Be Known By What?

Lately I have been reading several different blogs about the demise of the church and how we are losing so many of our young people and the purposed reasons why.  I know that I am now considered in the "older generation" so that is the way my opinions will be viewed.  Never the less, I just felt the need to post some observations about what I have been reading. Basically, most of these posts are saying "the church would be better if...."

First there have been several posts on the women's role in the church.  I could list some of the popular bloggers on this topic, but perhaps it would be better that I don't as I am not meaning to attack them personally.  From these writings I have ascertained that women are feeling that their voices are not being heard in the church.  They do not feel their gifts are valued.  I am not going to address these issues, or express my opinions nor give a scriptural debate  It isn't the reason for this post.

There have also been a couple of articles about the church needing to provide a more accepting and less judgmental space for the homosexual community.

Another article suggested that if we took better advantage of technology and multi media we would attract more of the younger generation.  It was important to not just have one screen but several with different things going on with each one.

Finally, I read an article yesterday that the younger generation is more concerned about causes than Christ.  That used to the formula was Christ+Community+Cause and then in the 90's it changed to Community+Christ+Church, and now it is Cause+Community+Christ. The article was suggesting that if we were involved in causes such as sex trafficking, slavery, clean water, etc. then young people would flock to our churches.

Everyone of these articles had points that were worth considering and worth reading  But this is my problem with all of them.  Since when is the church about meeting my needs?  Since when has being involved in church been about what makes me satisfied?  The church has existed for over 2000 years, long before there was gender issues, homosexuality as alternative lifestyles, and media.  And hasn't the church always been about being the hands and feet of Jesus to those that are hurting and lost?

It seems to me that in John 13:34-35 Jesus told us what the church should be known for, "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” Imagine what could happen if we just did this one thing?  As long as Satan can keep us discontented and looking at all the peripherals then we are not the church God intended us to be.  As long as I as am individual am saying "if a church would just do___________, then I would be a part of it", I will not be part of the church as God intended it to be.  

This is my prayer "Lord, help us to be your church. Lord, let us look to You and You alone for our example of how to love God and love our neighbors. Lord, may we care about the people you cared about and may our mission be to be your hands and feet to as many as possible.  May we care more about the lost than the forms in our worship services.  May we be consumed with your Spirit and let nothing but love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, goodness, faithfulness and self control flow in us and through us.  May our passion be bringing heaven down to earth  May we yearn for Heaven. May thy kingdom come and your will be done on earth as it is in Heaven.  Use me as your instrument.  Thank you Lord for the blessing of your church in giving me community and fellowship to keep my eyes centered on you.  May we all love each other so much that we are known for nothing but that...His church that loves."

God's Desire For Me

Desire-1. a sense of longing for a person or object(Wikipedia) 
            2. to long or hope for (Merriam-Webster Dictionary)
Synonyms: as a noun-admiration, devotion, fancy, fascination, passion, yearning
                 as a verb- aspire to, be smitten, choose, crave, enjoy, have eyes for, pine, set heart on

My last post I wrote about yearning for God.  Desire is a similar word, but instead of talking about  my desire, I want to talk about God's desire.  Did you know that God desires you and me?  Look again at the definition, God longs for you.  Then some of the synonyms:  God admires you, fancies you, enjoys you, has eyes for you, pines for you. Is that the way you view God?  Me?  Well, I want to see God having that kind of pleasure in me.  I remember being surprised several years ago when I came across Zephaniah 3:17 "The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing."  Since that time, I have tried to embrace the fact that God has that kind of love for me.  I have focused a lot on the "rejoice over you with singing" but did you see "He will take great delight in you?"

Then this past Sunday night, Steve and I went to hear Micheal Card sing about what he entitled "Extravagant Grace". He led us through Passion week in song, and it was so powerful!   He said some things that I had never thought about.  I cannot say them as well as him, but I will try to capture it for you.  After Adam and Eve sinned in the garden they hid and God comes in Genesis 3:9  "But the Lord God called to the man, 'Where are you?'"  God was seeking Adam and Eve, He wanted to be in fellowship with them, even though they had sinned.  When the children of Israel were wondering in the wilderness they lived in tents and in God's desire to be with them, God inhabits a tent.  The God of the heavens comes and inhabits the Tabernacle in His desire to make Himself known. Later it was the Temple. And then His ultimate display of love was coming in the flesh to live among us.  Emmanuel (God With Us).

God in the flesh.  Can you wrap your mind around that?  A runny nose, aching feet, gastrointestinal problems, tiredness, hunger, etc.  In order to be with us our God became human.  How would you rate that desire?  I think I am guilty of glossing over that aspect in that I assume He was more God than He was human.  And the God part over ruled the human part.  But the truth is He was 100% both God and human and therefore He experienced everything that I do.  It is amazing to contemplate!!

Then finally in His desire to be with us God doesn't live among us, He lives in us!!  He wasn't going to return to heaven and leave us alone.  So He inhabits us with Himself, the Holy Spirit. John 14:15-23 "I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever— the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him,because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live. On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you. Whoever has my commands and keeps them is the one who loves me. The one who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love them and show myself to them....Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching. My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them."

As Michael spoke these words I had an "Aha" moment.  I have always believed that God loves me.  Grew up singing "Jesus Loves Me" and I have known that.  But it is not the same as realizing that God actually desires me.  He yearns for me.  The God of the universe wants to spend time with me.  How many days has he said "Where are you, Lynn?"  "Here I am Lord, on Facebook, watching TV, playing games.  Can't you see me?"  "But, Lynn, I desire you.  I want to spend time with you."  "Yes, I know Lord, I hope that we can do that sometime soon."  Really??? Is that really what I want to say to my God?  So as I am typing this, I realize that this is still about my last post and how I yearn to desire God, to desire time with Him.  After all, if He has that kind of desire for me, shouldn't it be reciprocated?  Not out of duty, but out of pure love and devotion?  He deserves nothing less.  My sweet husband Steve desires me as well.  He desires conversation with me, companionship and intimacy.  What would happen to our relationship if I ignored him?  If I told him I was too busy to spend time with him?  If I indicated that something else was more important to me than His attention?  It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know if I were to do that our marriage would be in danger.  But because God is grace and God is forgiving, I think I can just continue to not heed His call and He will just be patient with me.  Well, that is true BUT what is that doing to my relationship with Him?  As I type these words I can sense Satan smiling "just what I had hoped for".

Thank you God for Your love, mercy and forgiveness.  Thank You for Your pursuit of me.  Thank You for your hearts desire for me.  I desire You as well.  May there be fewer and fewer moments where You ask "Where are you Lynn" because I am in Your presence and basking in Your fellowship.  In fact, I will quit typing now and close my eyes and listen to You sing over me. :-)

My Heart Yearns

Last Sunday in Bible Class we read this scripture in passing:

Job 19:25-27

"I know that my redeemer lives and that in the end he will stand on the earth. And after my skin has been destroyed, yet in my flesh I will see God; I myself will see him with my own eyes—I, and not another.

How my heart yearns within me!"

YEARN, it caught my eye.  I asked myself "when is the last time I yearned for God?  For heaven?

I came home and looked up the definition of YEARN.

     1. to long persistently, wistfully, or sadly (Dictionary.com)

     2.  to long persistently, wistfully, or sadly (Miriam Webster)

Synonyms-long - pine - hanker - crave - aspire - desire - languish

Look at those synonyms again LONG, PINE, HANKER, CRAVE, ASPIRE, DESIRE, LANGUISH

Crave and Languish really jump out at me.  Do I crave and languish over heaven?  I think I have glimpses now and then but it is not part of my everyday heart.  If I am honest, I am too caught up in the here and now and what is going on in my day.  I often lose sight of "this world is not my home".  But Job's yearning was so much more than just desiring Heaven.  His yearning was to see God.  To be in God's presence.  And while that will be ultimate in heaven, I can actually experience that in the here and now as well.  And I find myself asking the question again "how often do I yearn for God".  Do I yearn for my God the same way I yearn for the next episode of Downton Abbbey?  Am I as eager to see what He is going to say to me next as I am to see who is going to win American Idol?  Do I awake in the morning with anticipation of what God is going to speak into my heart this day and do with my life?  Oh, how I yearn to answer that question "yes"!!

Why is God and His presence not the constant desire of my heart?  Why do I have to work at it?  Why is it not as natural as the air that I breathe?  Because I have an enemy.  An enemy who comes to destroy. "Be alert and of sober mind.  Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour" (1 Peter 5:8) He puts so many distractions in my way and I am such a sucker.  I have such good intentions and the day ends and I have lost the fight one more time.  

I want to crave the Word of the Lord and a word from the Lord.  I want to crave the presence of the Lord.  I want to keep my eyes on the sky and remember that this world is not my home.  I want to constantly say with all sincerity "Lord, come quickly".  But in the meantime, may I find myself not just consumed with thoughts of my God, but may I desire His presence.  May I yearn to see Him in my day and may that time with Him make me yearn for Him face to face.  My heart breaks out in song as I type this.

"Oh God, you are my God, and I will ever praise You.

Oh God, you are my God, and I will ever praise You.

I will seek You in the morning, and I will learn to walk in Your ways,

and step by step You'll lead me, and I will follow you all of my days."

"My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the Lord; my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God" (Psalm 84:2)

"My soul yearns for you in the night; in the morning my spirit longs for you" (Isaiah 26:9)

I am not sure why I am finding it so difficult to blog these days.  When I look back at when I first started in 2007, I had 279 posts that year.  In 2012 I had 19 posts.  This will be my first for 2013.  I think the difference is Facebook, in that I tend to just put a statement there instead of paragraphs here.  But Facebook  also is a time consumer and I spend much too much time reading posts, articles and playing games which takes away my time from reading other sources, which is usually where I would get my thoughts for blogging.     Seems like a lot of my posts are thoughts I have about what someone else has written or said.

That being said, the other day I found a quote on blogging and put it on my Facebook and mentioned me blogging and a few people encouraged me to to blog again.  Then I logged on to find that Blogger had changed a few things and a new feature (or just one I had not seen before) was the ability to see who was looking at your blog and to say that I was shocked is an understatement!  Yesterday 5 people viewed something on my blog, last month 253 and since I started my blog 22,602 from 10 countries with France running the most after the US.  I thought that was really interesting and it motivated me to try to once again write with the hopes that perhaps some wondering soul would find something that would help them to see how awesome God is and how much He loves them. After all, if He cares about someone like me, He absolutely cares about you as well.

Honestly though, I think it is the quote I referred to earlier that actually motivated me to get back to trying to blog.  When I read some of my pasts posts they predominately are about some spiritual aspect of my life.  Some way that I am struggling to see God more clearly.  Consequently, I think I was closer to God during those days, as I was spending more time with Him.  So let me tell you about the quote by Anne Voskamp and how it motivated me to blog again.

"The blog is meant to be a bit of a side chapel — a place to slip into and still and encounter the glory of God — and come away again with a fresh sense that your life, right where you are, is a holy experience — that God dwells with you and in you, and where you are is holy ground, worthy of reverence and celebration and wonder. That little burning bush that is the signature of the blog — it echoes Elizabeth Barrett Browning’s words:

Earth’s crammed with heaven,
And every common bush afire with God;
But only he who sees, takes off his shoes,
The rest sit round it and pluck blackberries,
And daub their natural faces unaware."

So even if no one sees this page but me, I want to write about my Holy encounters with God.  But even more I want to have Holy encounters with my God.  I want to spend more time with Him.  In order for that to happen, I need to have better control over the time eaters in my life.  I need to tell myself that I desire the time with God more than anything else.  Not just a short devotional or prayer time, but quality relationship time.  From the beginning I had tagged my blog "Trying to see God doing Ephesians 3:20 things in my life (more than I can ask or imagine).  There have been some great Ephesians 3:20 moments, but I think I would like to change my tag to Me and God: Our Holy Encounters.  I want to be the one who takes off my shoes and not the one who plucks blackberries and daubs my face unaware.

Great Is His Faithfulness

A couple of weeks ago in worship we sang the song "Never Once".  Just in case you have never heard it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n1bXG4WIesA

I have not been able to get the song out of my mind.  Many times when I have awakened during the night, I start singing it.  I think God wants me to remember that never once I have walked through a trial by myself.  I know that I have written this before, but one of the things I have learned through the years is that I cannot be guided by my feelings, I have to be guided by what I know.  Only what I know is Truth.  So I am continually singing "You are faithful, God you are faithful".

It is amazing to grasp that truth, that never once have I ever had to walk alone.  He doesn't promise that I won't be on a battleground, but when I am, He will be giving me the strength to fight and keep walking.  I am carried by His constant grace.  Every step I am breathing in His grace and every breath I will be singing  out His praise.

I look back on my life and there has been so many times that I had to rely on God's strength to get me through. I confess that most often my response is "Really, again God?"  Instead, I need to say "It's okay because, just like you walked me through in the past, you will walk me through today and forever more".  There is great comfort in that Truth and therefore I can "count it all joy" when I face this battle I am currently in and the ones that are yet to come.

I think this song was an answer to my heart cry of my last two blog posts.  I am forever thankful that God speaks to me through music.  I want to learn to hear Him speaking just as loudly through His Word.  In order to do that, I need to read His Word at least as often as I listen to music!  Thank you God for your patience with me as I continue to learn and declare that "You are faithful, God you are faithful".

P.S. I also love this clip where Matt Redman talks about why he wrote the song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dR77PdCiU68

Perseverance

Perseverance seems to be the word of the hour right now. Those of you that have followed my blog for awhile, know that this is how the Spirit works with me. He usually gives me a thought and then I have it over and over for awhile. I guess it just takes me awhile to learn the lessons. But this week, it seems that I am suppose to understand the meaning of perseverance.

So I looked it up in the dictionary: 1. steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., especially in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement. 2. Theology . continuance in a state of grace to the end, leading to eternal salvation. A synonym for perseverance is steadfast. Here is the definition: a : firmly fixed in place : immovable b : not subject to change 2 c : firm in belief, determination, or adherence


First of all it seems that it is trials that give us perseverance. They have a purpose. 
Romans 5:3 "Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance." 
James 1:12 "Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him. 
James 1:3 "because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance." 
1 Peter 5:10 "And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast." 


Perseverance seems to be required in order to receive other Godly attributes. 
James 1:4 "Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." 2 Peter 1:6-8 "make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 
Psalm 51:10 "Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me." 


We will be rewarded for having persevered. 
Hebrews 10:36 "You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised." 
James 5:11 "As you know, we count as blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job’s perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy." Isaiah 26:31 "You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you." Psalm 112:7 "They will have no fear of bad news; their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the LORD." 


There are T.V. evangelists that would like us to think if we just had enough faith we would not have to endure any trials. But Jesus did not say "if" you have trials but "when". In John 16:33 we read "“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” Notice in the Hebrews 12:1 verse that it says "the race marked out for us"?? That means that whatever it is I am going through is for a purpose, and that is why I can endure it with perseverance. It is my faith that causes me to run that race knowing that God promises, those of us who love Him, that He will work ALL things together for our good.(Romans 8:28) 

One of my favorite passages of the Bible is in Luke 11:5-13. Jesus had just taught His disciples the Lord's prayer. "Then Jesus said to them, “Suppose you have a friend, and you go to him at midnight and say, ‘Friend, lend me three loaves of bread; a friend of mine on a journey has come to me, and I have no food to offer him.’ And suppose the one inside answers, ‘Don’t bother me. The door is already locked, and my children and I are in bed. I can’t get up and give you anything. I tell you, even though he will not get up and give you the bread because of friendship, yet because of your shameless audacity he will surely get up and give you as much as you need. “So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. “Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”

Perseverance. Keeping on, keeping on. Knowing that God my Father will only have my best at the center of His thoughts. And the best part of the perseverance race,is that I am not running by myself! Hebrews 12:1 "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." That cloud of witnesses includes Noah, Moses, Abraham, Joseph,David, Job, Ruth, Mary, Hannah,Peter, Paul, and so many more. Did any of these go through life without troubles? How about any of your spiritual heroes that have lived during your lifetime? Did any of them go through life unscathed? I can't help but think of my sweet father, who ran his own race of perseverance and in the midst of his trials would say "I am going to say hallelujah anyway".

And then if that isn't enough, God Himself is running the race with me. Jude 24-25 "To him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy—  to the only God our Savior be glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore! Amen." So while I don't always understand the twists and turns of the race, I am certain of the finish line and I hope that I continue to run my race with perseverance and at the end I will hear my God say to me "Well done, my good and faithful servant."

Faith Is Hard

To me the hardest part of blogging is deciding on the Title. This time it came pretty easy, because that is really what I want to talk about tonight. I find faith to be hard. First of all it is hard to really explain what faith is. Yes, I know what the Bible says it is "Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1 But then I ask "what do hope for?" and "what do I not see?" It is too easy to just say God. To me it is much more complex than that. So my own personal definition has more to do with trust. Faith is trusting that the one I cannot see has it all in control and all will work out for the best. But I really want faith that it will all work out the way I want it to work out. Really? My way doesn't see the future. My way doesn't see all the ramifications. And my way definitely may not be what is best. My way is usually what is easy. It takes faith to believe that when everything looks askew God's plan is still perfect. Which brings me to the next aspect of faith that I struggle with. If God is going to do what He is going to do anyway, because He alone knows what the perfect plan is. What am I praying for?? There is a sweet couple in Texas that gave birth to a daughter three weeks ago today. They named her Emma because that means whole and God would make her whole. See about four months ago Emma's parents had been told she wasn't developing quite right and as time went on the reports got worse. Her head was very hyro-cephalic which meant she would be missing part of her brain, then they were told her little hands were not forming, and that she had a cleft palate from the lip to the eye. So what kind of faith did it take to call her Emma?? Then there were countless prayers going up for this baby and asking God to give these sweet parents a miracle. I wish this next sentence said "and they got it". But they didn't,in fact the neurosurgeon was right there as Emma was born and did the MRI immediately and reported "there is even less brain there than we thought". Yes, I am struggling to understand why God didn't give this couple a miracle. If you had read their posts these past months you would see they have the kind of faith in Matthew 21:21, faith that can move a mountain. Here is just one thought from their blog "We trust in the goodness of the Lord. He's always been so good to us, so why would he stop now? I recently watched a sermon that spoke about "circumstantial faith". We will not allow circumstances to rock our faith because our faith does not rest or lean upon on circumstances. It rests upon a person--Jesus Christ. It rests upon the one true God."
After a short two weeks of life, God took Emma home. And now I find myself not having clue what to pray for except for comfort and peace. That doesn't take faith though, because they are both the very nature of God. I have all confidence that He will bless this sweet couple with His presence. As a church we have also been praying months for another sweet baby named Autumn. Autumn's parents were blessed with their miracle. They had also been told their baby's brain would not be normal, but it is. Autumn was born with her intestines on the outside of her body, but she has progressed beautifully and it seems that God has answered every prayer. So I ask myself why did one parent get their prayer answered and the other not? There is no answer. And here we have "faith in what we cannot see".
When it is all said and done either I believe or I don't. Either I trust God has the best way or He doesn't. Faith is not easy. What do you do with a God who can do anything but chooses not to? You praise Him anyway. You surrender to His will. You realize that if everything always went the way we prayed no faith would be required. God would be no more than our vending machine. So even though it is hard, I choose to believe. Because without faith there is no hope.

Waiting

Waiting is not my strongest suit. It is always hard to wait, and I especially find it hard to wait on God. I know His timing is perfect and His ways are always right, but I still find it hard to wait. I found this poem, that I hope I will refer to every time I am getting impatient. And remember there are lessons to be learned in the waiting.


Wait
by Russell Kelfer
Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .
And the Master so gently said, "Wait."

"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.

"My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign.

"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting for what?"

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

"I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.

"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.

"You'd never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

"The glow of my comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you.

"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait."

There are more items by this author at: http://www.dtm.org

Holy Spirit Surprise

This has been a busy week! Hosted a Sock Exchange at my house for 27 ladies on Tuesday night and taught 10 4-6 year olds last night at church. Unfortunately, when I have a lot on my plate at once, I usually just tackle what is on the "front burner", so I knew I was in charge of giving the Christmas devotional at our Ladies Bible Class Christmas brunch this morning, and I had a general idea about what I wanted to prepare, but until my other 2 events were finished, I wasn't going to focus on it. So I got home from class last night and started looking through old computer files to find a old lesson I did in Texas that I could just reuse here in Colorado. Well, wouldn't you know I couldn't find it. I found another one, but it just wasn't exciting me. So I went to our Library and pulled the book from which I wrote the last devotional and was going to do it again, except when I started reading the material, it just didn't seem to be what the Holy Spirit wanted me to do. I couldn't get the thoughts to come on the page. By this time it was almost midnight. I asked the Holy Spirit to show me what He wanted me to do. I then pulled about 5 books from our Library and started looking through them. Then I Googled "Christmas devotional" and found a story by Max Lucado called "Gabriel" and then in one of His books that I had was "Mary's Prayer" and everything started coming together. I put some songs with those stories and called it good at about 2 a.m. Then this morning when I got out of bed I did the last thing on my list and that was to find the song "Mary Did You Know", as I thought it would go great with the "Mary's Prayer" story. Found my Mark Lowry book that has the song on CD in it, only for the CD to be missing. I thought I remembered that Clay Aiken sang it on his Christmas CD, so started hunting for it when I discovered 4 CD's that I had not yet loaded in my CD player that holds 50 CD's. So I loaded them, pulled out Clay Aiken's and was set to go. Putting on my makeup, the 2nd song that started to play was one I had never remembered hearing before, but it was beautiful and the words were perfect to add to the devotional this morning. I went and stopped the CD right away so I could pinpoint which one of the 50 it was. As it turned out it was "Emmanuel" by Point of Grace (it "just happened" to be one of the four I added this morning?) The Spirit then told me I should let people express prayer concerns for those whose holidays may actually not be happy because of deaths, or sickness, or whatever the circumstance. That is how we started the devotional this morning and there were over 25 people that we were able to bring before the Lord. Thank you Holy Spirit for the amazing way you spoke to me last night and orchestrated a devotional that put our eyes on our Lord ad Savior, Emmanuel. Here are the lyrics to the song:

She lit a candle in a downtown cathedral

Quietly confessing, counting all her blessings

She looked as if she had nowhere to go

I could see her weeping

Hands together hoping you would hear...

This is the time of year

We hold our families near

But God let us be a friend to the hurting

Oh Emmanuel, God with us

Spirit revealed in us

That we may be your hope to the world

Oh Emmanuel, God with us

With a light to break the darkness

That we may show your hope to the world

Emmanuel, God with us

I moved in closer just so I could see her face

Maybe she was a mother

Someone's only daughter

Her silver hair shimmered like the snow

Christmas bells were ringing

Now beside her kneeling I asked her name

(And she said)This was the time of year

I had my family near

But they've all gone and I have been so lonely

Oh Emmanuel, God with us

Spirit revealed in us

That we may be your hope to the world

Oh Emmanuel, God with us

With a light to break the darkness

That we may show your hope to the world

Emmanuel, God with us

So with my family that Christmas day

A girl of sixty years would laugh and play

And as we watched her dance our eyes were full of tears...

The Holy Spirit and Me

In our Fall Ladies Bible Class we have been studying "Discerning The Voice of God"by Phyllis Shirer. It has been a great study on the Holy Spirit. I am learning so much! But that has led me to question how in the world I can be 58 years old and know so little about the Holy Spirit?? If indeed I received Him at the point of my baptism, then I was 12 years old when He began to live inside of me. That was 46 years ago!! So you would think I would be much further along in my knowledge of how He works in our lives?

I do know what my problem has been. Bottom line is I don't like being still or silent. I am a "doer". I like to stay busy. I justify that by staying busy "doing for the Lord", but what I realize is that I have been so busy doing that I haven't really spent quality intimate time with the Lord. As I type that I start thinking "now wait a minute, yes you have". Sure He and I have had our "moments", but if I honestly look at my life, it is not a daily time or even an intentional time.

I have been involved in numerous Bible Studies over the years, and I have learned a lot from them. But most of the time my time doing those studies, was just that "time" spent filling in the blanks so that if I got called on, I would have an answer. Rare are the times when I have prayed "Lord, please show me what you would have be learn from this study" or "Lord, please speak to me through this study".

Then there is my prayer life. Sporadic at best and most often it is "my wish list", "God, please do this and please do that". Not very often has it been a dialogue where I sit and listen for what God would like to say to me.

Then there are all those activities I mentioned. I get involved and "do" whatever and then maybe I ask the Lord to bless it. Not often do I stop and ask God if I should do this in the first place and then ask Him "Lord, what would you like to teach me as I do this OR what would you like to do through me as I do this?"

I just ordered a book Jesus Calling in which the author Sarah Young wrote down what she heard the Lord speaking to her into a 365 day devotional book. I am eager to see what the Lord said to Sarah. But I am also becoming more and more eager to see what the Lord has to say to Lynn if she would just shut out the noise and stop and listen for awhile.

So I thought if I blogged about it, it would make me accountable. For the next few weeks I want to just write about some of the things God is saying to me and teaching me about Himself as the Holy Spirit. The crazy thing is I have been asked to teach a group of Ladies on this subject for the next two weeks!!! Right up front I will have to confess that I am teaching what I do not know, but what I hope to know.

If you are a reader of my blog and you have a testimony about your life with the Holy Spirit, I would love to hear about it! For some reason I am also finding that out....that for some reason we are pretty quiet in sharing with each other our own experiences with the Holy Spirit. Not sure why that is, but hopefully we can encourage one another more in that area as well.

So for now just let me end with this

2 Peter 1: 3-10

"His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires. For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But whoever does not have them is nearsighted and blind, forgetting that they have been cleansed from their past sins. Therefore, my brothers and sisters, make every effort to confirm your calling and election. For if you do these things, you will never stumble, and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ."

God's Forgiveness and Snow

So my scarecrow in the yard says "Count Your Blessings". One of the blessings of living in Colorado is the beautiful snow. I love snow when it is fresh, before it has been stepped in. It is so pure. What a precious reminder of how much my Lord loves me. Psalm 51:7

"Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow." Isaiah 1:18 “Come now, let us settle the matter,” says the LORD. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow..." Whiter than snow???? Thanks to my God my sins are washed and I am made so clean that I am whiter than that snow!! It took blood to do that, Jesus blood. What a price was paid for me! But I thank you sweet God for this precious reminder of the price that was paid so that I could rest in complete assurance that your forgiveness is not partial. It is complete! May I never take Your forgiveness for granted and may I never complain about snow, for it is such a great reminder of the depth of my Father's love.

One Year Anniversary of Daddy's Homegoing

Today was the year anniversary of my Father's homegoing. It doesn't seem possible that he has been gone that long!! And here we are with the approaching of another holiday season without him. I have a pillow that my dad slept with that I now sleep with and everynight as I squeeze that pillow, it is like I am giving my dad a hug and I often have conversations with him. Today, my mom and I went to Helen Hunt Falls to spend some time thinking about him. We chose there because he loved it there and it is such a peaceful place. Mother buried one of his ties there last year, so it just seemed to be the perfect place to go. It was a beautiful day and we were able to get some pretty pictures of changing leaves. I wish my dad was still here so that we could go fishing together. I miss those times. There were so many things he would have loved to be able to do here but by the time we moved here he was too sick to do them. Then God was good and sent us some deer to enjoy just knowing my father would have loved them as well. I don't know how we would handle all of this if we were not confident my dad is at home with the Lord. It is only knowing that he is loving where he is at and he is totally well, that makes it easier to endure. We look forward to the day God calls us home so that we can enjoy our reunion. Until that time thank you for the sweet memories Daddy. Thank you for the love you poured on us. We were so blessed!

Are We Blushing Anymore?

On Wednesday Nights we have been studying Beth Moore's, Praying God's Word. This last Wednesday a paragraph she wrote in the chapter "Overcoming Sexual Strongholds" really struck a chord with me.

"None of us will question that he is having a field day in our present generation in the area of sexual strongholds. Satan's attacks on sexuality have become so outright and blatant that we're becoming increasingly desensitized and are unknowingly readjusting the plumb line to a state of relativity. In other words, instead of measuring our lives against the goal of Christlikeness, we are beginning to subconsciously measure our lives against the world's depravity. We can point to any amount of trash heaps around us and say, "I'll never be as bad as that." A Christian teenager might reason, "At least I sleep only with my boyfriend. Anyway, we're going to get married one day." A Christian spouse might justify his or her lusts with words like, "I may not get to order the dish, but there's no harm in checking our the menu." The virus of relativity is especially compromising in the media industry. We're tempted to choose one compromising movie over another because it's not nearly as bad as the other. We are wise to become very alert to the venomous snakebite of relativism. Satan is increasing the dosage of sexually immoral provocation with such consistency that we don't realize how much poison we're swallowing."

I agree with what she is saying in this paragraph but especially what she terms the "virus of relativity". I have been struggling lately because I have so much wanted to go see the movie "The Help". It has not helped that numerous friends on FB have posted that they have been to see it and it is such a good movie. Well, it is rated PG-13 and I usually go out and research what causes movies to get those ratings. Plugged In is a good source (http://www.pluggedin.com/). I used to love "Screen It", but they now charge $47 a year for a membership. If I went to movies every week, that would be worth the cost, but I don't. But what I like about the sites is that it tells you exactly why a movie is rated what it is rated. They count the number of cuss words and tell you what they are. Of course I struggle with the fact that I am reading the words instead of hearing them spoken in a movie, not to mention someone else had to listen to the language to record them.

Back to "The Help".....can I really go see a movie where God's name is taken in vain at least 8 times? Not to mention several other expletives. Yes, this movie has an inspirational message and the maids even talk about their faith in God. But can I justify the bad for the sake of "the good story"? Sometimes I just feel like I am such a prude, but I think God has just been calling me to a different standard, because I have not always made these same decisions. I have seen my share of "R" rated movies. But in the context of what Beth said above, I do find it interesting when I asked several people what "The Help" was rated PG-13 for, they said it had to be the racial tensions in the movie. Several said "the language wasn't that bad". Not that bad?? This is what Plugged In said "Six or seven s-words. Two obvious misuses of Jesus' name and nearly 10 of God's name. Four times God's name is paired with "d‑‑n," a word that is uttered other times as well. Whites spit out "n-gger" a handful of times. Other profanities include "a‑‑," a‑‑hole" and "h‑‑‑." So here we go....compared to other movies is it so bad? Wrong question. If I am being honest, I have written this and rewritten it several times trying to convince myself that I should go see this movie. I knew if I went ahead and put it down in writing here, that I would not be able to go see it. And if you are reading this and did go see it, I am not trying to guilt you. I am saying that perhaps we all should examine the extent to which we have become desensitized and ask ourselves if we are guilty of Jeremiah 6 and lost our ability to blush? I pray that I will not listen to the voice of Satan telling me "it is not so bad" and instead make my standard Philippians 4:8 "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." The challenge for me is to set that as my standard, but not judge others or think myself as "more holy" when I do that. Recently, Steve and I went to see "Cowboys and Aliens". We were only 5 minutes into the movie when the language started and I said to Steve "I can't believe I didn't even think to check this movie out first". So I am not saying we are perfect people. Thank you God that we are forgiven people covered by grace.

Blogging Blues

Recently I saw a post on Facebook where the individual stated they were considering blogging again and wondered if anyone had any advice about it. This is what one person said in reply "Be real. Be honest, and even controversial if there is something on your heart to share/discuss. And if you are posting about your family adventures, don't just post about the good times, post about challenging things too" and here is another "i totally agree with Nicole! be real and honest. Write what God lays on your heart. whether its good, bad or even contervsial. Because you never know who God will put in your path to read, understand, long for or even just guidance of what God is doing or can do for them."

I concur with those statements and think that is basically what blogging is. I guess it is transparent journaling. In the past couple of months there has been someone posting anonymous comments on my blog that has made me question why I am blogging? Their comments have really hit my heart hard. I pray I am not the person this anonymous reader perceives me to be. I have considered just quitting, but I do think there have been many more times that God has used my words to bless someone than aggravate, so I will trust that that will continue to be true in the future.

But to my anonymous poster, I am no longer allowing anonymous post to my blog. If you want to criticize me you are going to have to be brave enough to let me know who you are. I do ask your forgiveness for whatever I have done that has caused you to see me as this self centered, vindictive, critical spirit. I definitely do have my faults, and I have often confessed over the years on my blog that I struggle with a critical spirit. I definitely do need to look at the positives in people and situations a lot more than the negatives. I will continue to pray that God transforms my mind into a Philippians 4:10 mind. But I do hope you will find a more constructive way to express your discontent with my posts. Please include me in your prayers and ask God to reveal anything in my heart that is displeasing to Him. I will continue to do the same. After your comments, I made an edit to what I said about Steve's mom in a way that better expressed what I was trying to say. I was not trying to dishonor her in my comments, but express my sadness in the fact that we were not close. It was never anything intentional on either of our parts, but as I tried to say, it was the fact that we did not really know each other from spending limited time together.

I do thank you for posting though, for without your comments I would not know that someone actually perceives me the way you do and I wouldn't know to be asking God to change those things in me. I am just so VERY thankful that He is willing to extend me more grace than you!! Years ago He revealed to me Matthew 7:2 "For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." So I know I don't want to be judged the same way I judge others, so believe me I am working on it!!

I posted this quote on my FB page last night because it was very convicting to my heart. I know I will need to read it over and over again in my future to keep everything in check. This is from Beth Moore.

My name is Pride, I am a cheater.
I cheat you of your God given destiny....because you demand your own way.
I cheat you of contentment....because you "deserve better than this".
I cheat you of knowledge....because you already know it all.
I cheat you of healing....because you're too full of me to forgive.
I cheat you of holiness....because you refuse to admit when you are wrong
I cheat you of vision....because you because you'd rather look in the mirror than out a window.
I cheat you of genuine friendship....because nobody's going to know the real you.
I cheat you of love....because you real romance demands sacrifice.
I cheat you of greatness in heaven....because you refuse to wash another's feet on earth.
I cheat you of God's glory....because I convince you to seek your own.
My name is Pride, I am a cheater.
You like me because you think I'm always looking out for you. Untrue.
I'm looking to make a fool of you.
God has so much for you, I admit, but don't worry....If you stick with me you'll never know!

Life and Death

Death is part of life, we all know that, but it is still not something we spend much time thinking about. Steve's mother, died on July 27th. Since this is the 2nd death we have experienced this year, we have spent more time not only thinking about it, but actually dealing with it. Fortunately, Steve's mother's passing was more peaceful than my Dad's, but nevertheless hard. Steve's brother emailed him on 7/14 and said he was going to take a couple of days off work to try and explore some options as his mother was no longer able to stay by herself. Steve had some commitments and told his brother he would come on Monday, but before he could get there his mother had gone to the hospital because she was having trouble breathing. By the time Steve arrived on Monday night they had diagonsed her with congestive heart failure and had ordered hospice for her. It was important for Steve and his brother that their mother be allowed to die at home. She had lived on the 10 acres in Omaha for almost all of her 87 years. The boys cared for her 24/7 and she died 8 days after coming home. Steve was with her when she passed and had just finished swabbing out her mouth.

Steve had thought it was best that I not accompany him on this trip. First of all my mother had been ill herself for about three weeks and he was concerned about my own health and the high temperatures and humidity in Omaha. I disagreed with him, but finally relented knowing he did not need to be worrying about me but be able to give all of his attention to his mother. While it was the right decision, once I learned they had put her in hospice I kept asking him if I could fly out, but he continued to say "no". Looking back on it, Steve still feels like it was the best decision and feels it gave him not only special time with his mom, but bonding time with his younger brother Russ. After praying for days and askng others to pray that God take Mary Jane home quickly, when she hadn't died by July 25th, I asked God to please not let her die on my birthday, the 26th. Seemed pretty selfish at the time and as I thought about it, it would have been kind of mind blowing to consider that in God's scheme of things He would have planned for me to be born and Steve's mother to die on the same day. But as it turned out, He did answer my prayer and she did not die until the 27th. I then flew out on the 28th.

Steve's mother had planned her funeral for years. She had been wanting to go home ever since her husband had died in 2004. Yet, all that she had planned had fallen apart. The funeral home had been torn down, her church had let her down and since she had not been able to attend for a few years because of failing health, no one visited her and they had a change in ministers, so she did not know the one that was there now. One thing she had always asked is that she not have an impersonable funeral. And finally the VFW where she wanted her reception was no longer renting it's facilities for such affairs. But God was very faithful over all the details and it all turned out in a way that we think she would have been very pleased with. The funeral home was great and we could not have asked for better staff. They had a minister on contract who was able to perform the ceremony and he did an amazing job. He even stepped up and offered to sing one of her hymns "Beyond the Sunset", because the funeral home could not find any appropriate renditions to play. And then the local VFW where she and her son had been eating meals every Tuesday and Friday for a couple of years let them hold her reception there, even though they were not members. Several ladies volunteered their time to set up the luncheon that we had catered and took care of all the clean up for us. We had plenty of food because Steve's mom had said to plan for 125 people and there were about 80 friends and family there. So all things considered, the service went as well as it could.

This is Steve, his brothers, sister in law, Kelly and cousin Mary

Steve and Russ with the hospice nurse, Danette, who came to visitation.

You cannot experience a funeral without contemplating your own death and your own funeral. My biggest takeway....is this, it is a blessing to be surrounded by friends and family, but I want my funeral to be a celebration of life and a praise service to God for who He is and what He has done in my life. No recorded music, I want the attendees to lift their voices in praise. That is why I am thankful for church family as I know they will be able to do that.

Steve's mother and I did not have a strong relationship. She didnt have a daughter, just three son's and I always felt my efforts to help her were viewed more of an intrusion. It is hard when you have to get to know someone from long distance. In the 21 1/2 years we were married, she never visited our home. I was probably in hers a dozen times. That is not much. But what I will always appreciate her for, is she raised my husband to be the wonderful man that he is. I could not have a more loving husband and when I knew I would not be able to say goodbye to her in person, I wrote Steve this email to read to her "Mom,

I am so sorry that I can not be there to give you a hug and kiss and tell you that I love you. I am so glad your three boys are there with you and I know that they bring you great comfort. I knew that you might have difficulty hearing me on the phone, so thought I would type out this note and let Steve read it to you. I just want to thank you for all the love you have given me the past 22 years. You have been such a sweet mother in law. The gift you have given me that I will always treasure the most is your sweet son Steve. Thank you for sharing him with me. Thank you for raising him to be such a great man. I knew what a wonderful husband he would be by the way he loved his mother. I have never questioned whether there was someone better out there for me, because I knew I had the very best. You are in my thoughts and in my prayers constantly, and I am asking my God to allow you to pass into His arms peacefully. I know that you are going to love being home and reunited with your sweet Herb. It brings me comfort to know that you will be in heaven where I will see you again one day. I can only pray that it will be soon for us as well. So I say goodbye with these words from Psalms 23 "The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever."