My Heart Yearns

Last Sunday in Bible Class we read this scripture in passing:

Job 19:25-27

"I know that my redeemer lives and that in the end he will stand on the earth. And after my skin has been destroyed, yet in my flesh I will see God; I myself will see him with my own eyes—I, and not another.

How my heart yearns within me!"

YEARN, it caught my eye.  I asked myself "when is the last time I yearned for God?  For heaven?

I came home and looked up the definition of YEARN.

     1. to long persistently, wistfully, or sadly (Dictionary.com)

     2.  to long persistently, wistfully, or sadly (Miriam Webster)

Synonyms-long - pine - hanker - crave - aspire - desire - languish

Look at those synonyms again LONG, PINE, HANKER, CRAVE, ASPIRE, DESIRE, LANGUISH

Crave and Languish really jump out at me.  Do I crave and languish over heaven?  I think I have glimpses now and then but it is not part of my everyday heart.  If I am honest, I am too caught up in the here and now and what is going on in my day.  I often lose sight of "this world is not my home".  But Job's yearning was so much more than just desiring Heaven.  His yearning was to see God.  To be in God's presence.  And while that will be ultimate in heaven, I can actually experience that in the here and now as well.  And I find myself asking the question again "how often do I yearn for God".  Do I yearn for my God the same way I yearn for the next episode of Downton Abbbey?  Am I as eager to see what He is going to say to me next as I am to see who is going to win American Idol?  Do I awake in the morning with anticipation of what God is going to speak into my heart this day and do with my life?  Oh, how I yearn to answer that question "yes"!!

Why is God and His presence not the constant desire of my heart?  Why do I have to work at it?  Why is it not as natural as the air that I breathe?  Because I have an enemy.  An enemy who comes to destroy. "Be alert and of sober mind.  Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour" (1 Peter 5:8) He puts so many distractions in my way and I am such a sucker.  I have such good intentions and the day ends and I have lost the fight one more time.  

I want to crave the Word of the Lord and a word from the Lord.  I want to crave the presence of the Lord.  I want to keep my eyes on the sky and remember that this world is not my home.  I want to constantly say with all sincerity "Lord, come quickly".  But in the meantime, may I find myself not just consumed with thoughts of my God, but may I desire His presence.  May I yearn to see Him in my day and may that time with Him make me yearn for Him face to face.  My heart breaks out in song as I type this.

"Oh God, you are my God, and I will ever praise You.

Oh God, you are my God, and I will ever praise You.

I will seek You in the morning, and I will learn to walk in Your ways,

and step by step You'll lead me, and I will follow you all of my days."

"My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the Lord; my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God" (Psalm 84:2)

"My soul yearns for you in the night; in the morning my spirit longs for you" (Isaiah 26:9)