Most of the couples my age are celebrating 40-45 years of marriage, but Steve and I are only on our 26th year because God did not bring us together until we were 36. That in itself is a fun story for another time. I had prayed for a long time that my husband would be strong in his relationship with God. I don't really remember praying for anything else in a husband. Steve and I often comment on how we are opposite we are. You name the subject and we are on opposite sides of the spectrum. I am a spender, he is a saver. I enjoy spontaneity, he likes routine. I enjoy playing games, he enjoys reading. I always thought I would make a great catch for some man because I really enjoy camping, hunting and fishing and can even bait my own hook and gut my own fish :-) Steve doesn't have any interest in being outdoors (except to shovel our neighbors snow :-)) We don't enjoy the same kind of movies, he enjoys bloody war movies or slapstick comedies. I enjoy romantic comedies or true life stories. I enjoy salads and vegetables, he is a meat and potatoes man. I could go on and on.
But we have a wonderful marriage in spite of all of that and it is for one reason and one reason only. The one thing we do have in common is our love for the Lord!
About 15 years ago, Steve and I became marriage facilitators for Joe Beam's Dynamic Marriage, which has now been changed to Marriage Helper (you can find more information here: http://www.marriagehelper.com) During that training we learned an invaluable concept called the "Love Bank". Basically the principle is that when I do something positive for Steve, I make deposits in the "Love Bank" and when I do or say something negative I make withdrawals. The key is to make sure I make 5 deposits for every withdrawal and at any point I bankrupt Him, our marriage will be in serious trouble. Again, because Steve is so much better at deposits than I am, I have to work hard to keep up with him. And I have learned that saying "I am sorry, I was wrong" can be a large deposit!
When we realize that our love for the Lord spills over on our spouse, there is no greater gift that we can give our spouse than having a strong relationship with the Lord. I glorify God by loving Steve in a matter that pleases God. Steve forgives me, because he knows how much the Lord has forgiven Him and the same for me. Our goal is to help each other get to heaven, so that means holding one another accountable. My favorite time of the day is right after lunch each day as Steve and I spend some time in God's Word together and pray together. But we also each have our own private times of prayer and study with the Lord. Another way Steve and I are opposites is he is much more disciplined than I am. Every year he reads the Bible from Genesis to Revelation. One year I tried to do it with him and while I read more than ever, I still did not complete it. I am more into reading books about God or other's relationships with Him as well as being in 3 Bible studies I have to complete each week. The fact that we are doing different things does give us some great things to talk about.
I do want to mention one more thing that Steve and I want to get better at in our marriage. We really don't argue very often, but when we do we want one of us to be led by the Spirit to say "Stop. Let us say a prayer before we continue." That could be together or just go off by ourselves and both pray before coming back together. The times we have done that, makes a tremendous difference in solving the difference of opinions.
So I am glad that I chose MARRIAGE as my "M" word, as it gave me a reason to look again at the blessing I have in being married to a man that loves the Lord and was the exact answer to my prayers!
2 comments:
Congratulations! Marriage is not easy, but I think every year, every day, that you're still together is a success. It's not about how or when you start, but how it finishes, right?
Great M word!
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