Lynn's LIFE

Waiting

2012-02-05T20:49:00.002-07:00

Waiting is not my strongest suit. It is always hard to wait, and I especially find it hard to wait on God. I know His timing is perfect and His ways are always right, but I still find it hard to wait. I found this poem, that I hope I will refer to every time I am getting impatient. And remember there are lessons to be learned in the waiting.

Wait
by Russell Kelfer
Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .
And the Master so gently said, "Wait."

"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.

"My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign.

"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting for what?"

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

"I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.

"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.

"You'd never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

"The glow of my comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you.

"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait."

There are more items by this author at: http://www.dtm.org

Holy Spirit Surprise

2011-12-15T23:47:00.003-07:00

This has been a busy week! Hosted a Sock Exchange at my house for 27 ladies on Tuesday night and taught 10 4-6 year olds last night at church. Unfortunately, when I have a lot on my plate at once, I usually just tackle what is on the "front burner", so I knew I was in charge of giving the Christmas devotional at our Ladies Bible Class Christmas brunch this morning, and I had a general idea about what I wanted to prepare, but until my other 2 events were finished, I wasn't going to focus on it. So I got home from class last night and started looking through old computer files to find a old lesson I did in Texas that I could just reuse here in Colorado. Well, wouldn't you know I couldn't find it. I found another one, but it just wasn't exciting me. So I went to our Library and pulled the book from which I wrote the last devotional and was going to do it again, except when I started reading the material, it just didn't seem to be what the Holy Spirit wanted me to do. I couldn't get the thoughts to come on the page. By this time it was almost midnight. I asked the Holy Spirit to show me what He wanted me to do. I then pulled about 5 books from our Library and started looking through them. Then I Googled "Christmas devotional" and found a story by Max Lucado called "Gabriel" and then in one of His books that I had was "Mary's Prayer" and everything started coming together. I put some songs with those stories and called it good at about 2 a.m. Then this morning when I got out of bed I did the last thing on my list and that was to find the song "Mary Did You Know", as I thought it would go great with the "Mary's Prayer" story. Found my Mark Lowry book that has the song on CD in it, only for the CD to be missing. I thought I remembered that Clay Aiken sang it on his Christmas CD, so started hunting for it when I discovered 4 CD's that I had not yet loaded in my CD player that holds 50 CD's. So I loaded them, pulled out Clay Aiken's and was set to go. Putting on my makeup, the 2nd song that started to play was one I had never remembered hearing before, but it was beautiful and the words were perfect to add to the devotional this morning. I went and stopped the CD right away so I could pinpoint which one of the 50 it was. As it turned out it was "Emmanuel" by Point of Grace (it "just happened" to be one of the four I added this morning?) The Spirit then told me I should let people express prayer concerns for those whose holidays may actually not be happy because of deaths, or sickness, or whatever the circumstance. That is how we started the devotional this morning and there were over 25 people that we were able to bring before the Lord. Thank you Holy Spirit for the amazing way you spoke to me last night and orchestrated a devotional that put our eyes on our Lord ad Savior, Emmanuel. Here are the lyrics to the song:

She lit a candle in a downtown cathedral

Quietly confessing, counting all her blessings

She looked as if she had nowhere to go

I could see her weeping

Hands together hoping you would hear...

This is the time of year

We hold our families near

But God let us be a friend to the hurting

Oh Emmanuel, God with us

Spirit revealed in us

That we may be your hope to the world

Oh Emmanuel, God with us

With a light to break the darkness

That we may show your hope to the world

Emmanuel, God with us

I moved in closer just so I could see her face

Maybe she was a mother

Someone's only daughter

Her silver hair shimmered like the snow

Christmas bells were ringing

Now beside her kneeling I asked her name

(And she said)This was the time of year

I had my family near

But they've all gone and I have been so lonely

Oh Emmanuel, God with us

Spirit revealed in us

That we may be your hope to the world

Oh Emmanuel, God with us

With a light to break the darkness

That we may show your hope to the world

Emmanuel, God with us

So with my family that Christmas day

A girl of sixty years would laugh and play

And as we watched her dance our eyes were full of tears...

The Holy Spirit and Me

2011-11-12T11:29:00.003-07:00

In our Fall Ladies Bible Class we have been studying "Discerning The Voice of God"by Phyllis Shirer. It has been a great study on the Holy Spirit. I am learning so much! But that has led me to question how in the world I can be 58 years old and know so little about the Holy Spirit?? If indeed I received Him at the point of my baptism, then I was 12 years old when He began to live inside of me. That was 46 years ago!! So you would think I would be much further along in my knowledge of how He works in our lives?

I do know what my problem has been. Bottom line is I don't like being still or silent. I am a "doer". I like to stay busy. I justify that by staying busy "doing for the Lord", but what I realize is that I have been so busy doing that I haven't really spent quality intimate time with the Lord. As I type that I start thinking "now wait a minute, yes you have". Sure He and I have had our "moments", but if I honestly look at my life, it is not a daily time or even an intentional time.

I have been involved in numerous Bible Studies over the years, and I have learned a lot from them. But most of the time my time doing those studies, was just that "time" spent filling in the blanks so that if I got called on, I would have an answer. Rare are the times when I have prayed "Lord, please show me what you would have be learn from this study" or "Lord, please speak to me through this study".

Then there is my prayer life. Sporadic at best and most often it is "my wish list", "God, please do this and please do that". Not very often has it been a dialogue where I sit and listen for what God would like to say to me.

Then there are all those activities I mentioned. I get involved and "do" whatever and then maybe I ask the Lord to bless it. Not often do I stop and ask God if I should do this in the first place and then ask Him "Lord, what would you like to teach me as I do this OR what would you like to do through me as I do this?"

I just ordered a book Jesus Calling in which the author Sarah Young wrote down what she heard the Lord speaking to her into a 365 day devotional book. I am eager to see what the Lord said to Sarah. But I am also becoming more and more eager to see what the Lord has to say to Lynn if she would just shut out the noise and stop and listen for awhile.

So I thought if I blogged about it, it would make me accountable. For the next few weeks I want to just write about some of the things God is saying to me and teaching me about Himself as the Holy Spirit. The crazy thing is I have been asked to teach a group of Ladies on this subject for the next two weeks!!! Right up front I will have to confess that I am teaching what I do not know, but what I hope to know.

If you are a reader of my blog and you have a testimony about your life with the Holy Spirit, I would love to hear about it! For some reason I am also finding that out....that for some reason we are pretty quiet in sharing with each other our own experiences with the Holy Spirit. Not sure why that is, but hopefully we can encourage one another more in that area as well.

So for now just let me end with this

2 Peter 1: 3-10

"His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires. For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But whoever does not have them is nearsighted and blind, forgetting that they have been cleansed from their past sins. Therefore, my brothers and sisters, make every effort to confirm your calling and election. For if you do these things, you will never stumble, and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ."

God's Forgiveness and Snow

2011-10-26T21:53:00.004-06:00

So my scarecrow in the yard says "Count Your Blessings". One of the blessings of living in Colorado is the beautiful snow. I love snow when it is fresh, before it has been stepped in. It is so pure. What a precious reminder of how much my Lord loves me. Psalm 51:7

"Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow." Isaiah 1:18 “Come now, let us settle the matter,” says the LORD. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow..." Whiter than snow???? Thanks to my God my sins are washed and I am made so clean that I am whiter than that snow!! It took blood to do that, Jesus blood. What a price was paid for me! But I thank you sweet God for this precious reminder of the price that was paid so that I could rest in complete assurance that your forgiveness is not partial. It is complete! May I never take Your forgiveness for granted and may I never complain about snow, for it is such a great reminder of the depth of my Father's love.

One Year Anniversary of Daddy's Homegoing

2011-09-27T22:43:00.003-06:00

Today was the year anniversary of my Father's homegoing. It doesn't seem possible that he has been gone that long!! And here we are with the approaching of another holiday season without him. I have a pillow that my dad slept with that I now sleep with and everynight as I squeeze that pillow, it is like I am giving my dad a hug and I often have conversations with him. Today, my mom and I went to Helen Hunt Falls to spend some time thinking about him. We chose there because he loved it there and it is such a peaceful place. Mother buried one of his ties there last year, so it just seemed to be the perfect place to go. It was a beautiful day and we were able to get some pretty pictures of changing leaves. I wish my dad was still here so that we could go fishing together. I miss those times. There were so many things he would have loved to be able to do here but by the time we moved here he was too sick to do them. Then God was good and sent us some deer to enjoy just knowing my father would have loved them as well. I don't know how we would handle all of this if we were not confident my dad is at home with the Lord. It is only knowing that he is loving where he is at and he is totally well, that makes it easier to endure. We look forward to the day God calls us home so that we can enjoy our reunion. Until that time thank you for the sweet memories Daddy. Thank you for the love you poured on us. We were so blessed!

Are We Blushing Anymore?

2011-08-28T19:07:00.004-06:00

On Wednesday Nights we have been studying Beth Moore's, Praying God's Word. This last Wednesday a paragraph she wrote in the chapter "Overcoming Sexual Strongholds" really struck a chord with me.

"None of us will question that he is having a field day in our present generation in the area of sexual strongholds. Satan's attacks on sexuality have become so outright and blatant that we're becoming increasingly desensitized and are unknowingly readjusting the plumb line to a state of relativity. In other words, instead of measuring our lives against the goal of Christlikeness, we are beginning to subconsciously measure our lives against the world's depravity. We can point to any amount of trash heaps around us and say, "I'll never be as bad as that." A Christian teenager might reason, "At least I sleep only with my boyfriend. Anyway, we're going to get married one day." A Christian spouse might justify his or her lusts with words like, "I may not get to order the dish, but there's no harm in checking our the menu." The virus of relativity is especially compromising in the media industry. We're tempted to choose one compromising movie over another because it's not nearly as bad as the other. We are wise to become very alert to the venomous snakebite of relativism. Satan is increasing the dosage of sexually immoral provocation with such consistency that we don't realize how much poison we're swallowing."

I agree with what she is saying in this paragraph but especially what she terms the "virus of relativity". I have been struggling lately because I have so much wanted to go see the movie "The Help". It has not helped that numerous friends on FB have posted that they have been to see it and it is such a good movie. Well, it is rated PG-13 and I usually go out and research what causes movies to get those ratings. Plugged In is a good source (http://www.pluggedin.com/). I used to love "Screen It", but they now charge $47 a year for a membership. If I went to movies every week, that would be worth the cost, but I don't. But what I like about the sites is that it tells you exactly why a movie is rated what it is rated. They count the number of cuss words and tell you what they are. Of course I struggle with the fact that I am reading the words instead of hearing them spoken in a movie, not to mention someone else had to listen to the language to record them.

Back to "The Help".....can I really go see a movie where God's name is taken in vain at least 8 times? Not to mention several other expletives. Yes, this movie has an inspirational message and the maids even talk about their faith in God. But can I justify the bad for the sake of "the good story"? Sometimes I just feel like I am such a prude, but I think God has just been calling me to a different standard, because I have not always made these same decisions. I have seen my share of "R" rated movies. But in the context of what Beth said above, I do find it interesting when I asked several people what "The Help" was rated PG-13 for, they said it had to be the racial tensions in the movie. Several said "the language wasn't that bad". Not that bad?? This is what Plugged In said "Six or seven s-words. Two obvious misuses of Jesus' name and nearly 10 of God's name. Four times God's name is paired with "d‑‑n," a word that is uttered other times as well. Whites spit out "n-gger" a handful of times. Other profanities include "a‑‑," a‑‑hole" and "h‑‑‑." So here we go....compared to other movies is it so bad? Wrong question. If I am being honest, I have written this and rewritten it several times trying to convince myself that I should go see this movie. I knew if I went ahead and put it down in writing here, that I would not be able to go see it. And if you are reading this and did go see it, I am not trying to guilt you. I am saying that perhaps we all should examine the extent to which we have become desensitized and ask ourselves if we are guilty of Jeremiah 6 and lost our ability to blush? I pray that I will not listen to the voice of Satan telling me "it is not so bad" and instead make my standard Philippians 4:8 "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." The challenge for me is to set that as my standard, but not judge others or think myself as "more holy" when I do that. Recently, Steve and I went to see "Cowboys and Aliens". We were only 5 minutes into the movie when the language started and I said to Steve "I can't believe I didn't even think to check this movie out first". So I am not saying we are perfect people. Thank you God that we are forgiven people covered by grace.

Blogging Blues

2011-08-11T13:30:00.004-06:00

Recently I saw a post on Facebook where the individual stated they were considering blogging again and wondered if anyone had any advice about it. This is what one person said in reply "Be real. Be honest, and even controversial if there is something on your heart to share/discuss. And if you are posting about your family adventures, don't just post about the good times, post about challenging things too" and here is another "i totally agree with Nicole! be real and honest. Write what God lays on your heart. whether its good, bad or even contervsial. Because you never know who God will put in your path to read, understand, long for or even just guidance of what God is doing or can do for them."

I concur with those statements and think that is basically what blogging is. I guess it is transparent journaling. In the past couple of months there has been someone posting anonymous comments on my blog that has made me question why I am blogging? Their comments have really hit my heart hard. I pray I am not the person this anonymous reader perceives me to be. I have considered just quitting, but I do think there have been many more times that God has used my words to bless someone than aggravate, so I will trust that that will continue to be true in the future.

But to my anonymous poster, I am no longer allowing anonymous post to my blog. If you want to criticize me you are going to have to be brave enough to let me know who you are. I do ask your forgiveness for whatever I have done that has caused you to see me as this self centered, vindictive, critical spirit. I definitely do have my faults, and I have often confessed over the years on my blog that I struggle with a critical spirit. I definitely do need to look at the positives in people and situations a lot more than the negatives. I will continue to pray that God transforms my mind into a Philippians 4:10 mind. But I do hope you will find a more constructive way to express your discontent with my posts. Please include me in your prayers and ask God to reveal anything in my heart that is displeasing to Him. I will continue to do the same. After your comments, I made an edit to what I said about Steve's mom in a way that better expressed what I was trying to say. I was not trying to dishonor her in my comments, but express my sadness in the fact that we were not close. It was never anything intentional on either of our parts, but as I tried to say, it was the fact that we did not really know each other from spending limited time together.

I do thank you for posting though, for without your comments I would not know that someone actually perceives me the way you do and I wouldn't know to be asking God to change those things in me. I am just so VERY thankful that He is willing to extend me more grace than you!! Years ago He revealed to me Matthew 7:2 "For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." So I know I don't want to be judged the same way I judge others, so believe me I am working on it!!

I posted this quote on my FB page last night because it was very convicting to my heart. I know I will need to read it over and over again in my future to keep everything in check. This is from Beth Moore.

My name is Pride, I am a cheater.
I cheat you of your God given destiny....because you demand your own way.
I cheat you of contentment....because you "deserve better than this".
I cheat you of knowledge....because you already know it all.
I cheat you of healing....because you're too full of me to forgive.
I cheat you of holiness....because you refuse to admit when you are wrong
I cheat you of vision....because you because you'd rather look in the mirror than out a window.
I cheat you of genuine friendship....because nobody's going to know the real you.
I cheat you of love....because you real romance demands sacrifice.
I cheat you of greatness in heaven....because you refuse to wash another's feet on earth.
I cheat you of God's glory....because I convince you to seek your own.
My name is Pride, I am a cheater.
You like me because you think I'm always looking out for you. Untrue.
I'm looking to make a fool of you.
God has so much for you, I admit, but don't worry....If you stick with me you'll never know!

Life and Death

2011-08-09T19:59:00.010-06:00

Death is part of life, we all know that, but it is still not something we spend much time thinking about. Steve's mother, died on July 27th. Since this is the 2nd death we have experienced this year, we have spent more time not only thinking about it, but actually dealing with it. Fortunately, Steve's mother's passing was more peaceful than my Dad's, but nevertheless hard. Steve's brother emailed him on 7/14 and said he was going to take a couple of days off work to try and explore some options as his mother was no longer able to stay by herself. Steve had some commitments and told his brother he would come on Monday, but before he could get there his mother had gone to the hospital because she was having trouble breathing. By the time Steve arrived on Monday night they had diagonsed her with congestive heart failure and had ordered hospice for her. It was important for Steve and his brother that their mother be allowed to die at home. She had lived on the 10 acres in Omaha for almost all of her 87 years. The boys cared for her 24/7 and she died 8 days after coming home. Steve was with her when she passed and had just finished swabbing out her mouth.

Steve had thought it was best that I not accompany him on this trip. First of all my mother had been ill herself for about three weeks and he was concerned about my own health and the high temperatures and humidity in Omaha. I disagreed with him, but finally relented knowing he did not need to be worrying about me but be able to give all of his attention to his mother. While it was the right decision, once I learned they had put her in hospice I kept asking him if I could fly out, but he continued to say "no". Looking back on it, Steve still feels like it was the best decision and feels it gave him not only special time with his mom, but bonding time with his younger brother Russ. After praying for days and askng others to pray that God take Mary Jane home quickly, when she hadn't died by July 25th, I asked God to please not let her die on my birthday, the 26th. Seemed pretty selfish at the time and as I thought about it, it would have been kind of mind blowing to consider that in God's scheme of things He would have planned for me to be born and Steve's mother to die on the same day. But as it turned out, He did answer my prayer and she did not die until the 27th. I then flew out on the 28th.

Steve's mother had planned her funeral for years. She had been wanting to go home ever since her husband had died in 2004. Yet, all that she had planned had fallen apart. The funeral home had been torn down, her church had let her down and since she had not been able to attend for a few years because of failing health, no one visited her and they had a change in ministers, so she did not know the one that was there now. One thing she had always asked is that she not have an impersonable funeral. And finally the VFW where she wanted her reception was no longer renting it's facilities for such affairs. But God was very faithful over all the details and it all turned out in a way that we think she would have been very pleased with. The funeral home was great and we could not have asked for better staff. They had a minister on contract who was able to perform the ceremony and he did an amazing job. He even stepped up and offered to sing one of her hymns "Beyond the Sunset", because the funeral home could not find any appropriate renditions to play. And then the local VFW where she and her son had been eating meals every Tuesday and Friday for a couple of years let them hold her reception there, even though they were not members. Several ladies volunteered their time to set up the luncheon that we had catered and took care of all the clean up for us. We had plenty of food because Steve's mom had said to plan for 125 people and there were about 80 friends and family there. So all things considered, the service went as well as it could.

This is Steve, his brothers, sister in law, Kelly and cousin Mary

Steve and Russ with the hospice nurse, Danette, who came to visitation.

You cannot experience a funeral without contemplating your own death and your own funeral. My biggest takeway....is this, it is a blessing to be surrounded by friends and family, but I want my funeral to be a celebration of life and a praise service to God for who He is and what He has done in my life. No recorded music, I want the attendees to lift their voices in praise. That is why I am thankful for church family as I know they will be able to do that.

Steve's mother and I did not have a strong relationship. She didnt have a daughter, just three son's and I always felt my efforts to help her were viewed more of an intrusion. It is hard when you have to get to know someone from long distance. In the 21 1/2 years we were married, she never visited our home. I was probably in hers a dozen times. That is not much. But what I will always appreciate her for, is she raised my husband to be the wonderful man that he is. I could not have a more loving husband and when I knew I would not be able to say goodbye to her in person, I wrote Steve this email to read to her "Mom,

I am so sorry that I can not be there to give you a hug and kiss and tell you that I love you. I am so glad your three boys are there with you and I know that they bring you great comfort. I knew that you might have difficulty hearing me on the phone, so thought I would type out this note and let Steve read it to you. I just want to thank you for all the love you have given me the past 22 years. You have been such a sweet mother in law. The gift you have given me that I will always treasure the most is your sweet son Steve. Thank you for sharing him with me. Thank you for raising him to be such a great man. I knew what a wonderful husband he would be by the way he loved his mother. I have never questioned whether there was someone better out there for me, because I knew I had the very best. You are in my thoughts and in my prayers constantly, and I am asking my God to allow you to pass into His arms peacefully. I know that you are going to love being home and reunited with your sweet Herb. It brings me comfort to know that you will be in heaven where I will see you again one day. I can only pray that it will be soon for us as well. So I say goodbye with these words from Psalms 23 "The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever."

Missing My Father This Father's Day

2011-06-19T23:48:00.006-06:00

They say that grief comes in waves and it is so true. I wasn't prepared for how hard this Father's Day would be without my father. Missed him on Thanksgiving, Christmas, his birthday, but wowser I really missed him today. Steve and I have always found Mother's Day and Father's Day a contemplative day anyway, because we were not blessed with children. But to add to it not having my father here to celebrate with made it even more difficult. I also felt so guilty because Steve's father has been gone for about 7 years and I never once realized how difficult this day was for him. Guess men just don't verbalize their feelings like we women do.

Anyway....I spent alot of the day sleeping in hopes that I would dream about my daddy, but I didn't. So being awake was better, because I could just think of some of my favorite memories.

Some of my favorite times with my dad were when we would go fishing together. He was always so patient with me, and while I could bait my own hook, he was always so good to clean my fish.

But my most favorite times were just sitting and talking about God and the Bible. He loved to preach and He had such a love for sharing God's Word. I wish I had recorded some of those conversations, or had some of his sermons. He was such a humble servant and never thought he was very eloquent. But he spoke volumes with his life. He was the epitomy of the old saying "I would rather see a sermon, than hear one anyday." He walked the walk.

The thing that helps the most is knowing Daddy is where he always longed to be, with His God. I can't wait to join him and hearing him singing bass (another dream of his). I am so thankful that I am left with so many memories to cherish and that I don't have any regrets and nothing was left undone. He knew I loved him and I knew he loved me.

In looking up the quote about the sermon, I found it is actually a poem and I post it in my Father's honor.

Sermons We See

Edgar Guest

I'd rather see a sermon than hear one any day;

I'd rather one should walk with me than merely tell the way.

The eye's a better pupil and more willing than the ear,

Fine counsel is confusing, but example's always clear;

And the best of all the preachers are the men who live their creeds,

For to see good put in action is what everybody needs.

I soon can learn to do it if you'll let me see it done;

I can watch your hands in action, but your tongue too fast may run.

And the lecture you deliver may be very wise and true,

But I'd rather get my lessons by observing what you do;

For I might misunderstand you and the high advise you give,

But there's no misunderstanding how you act and how you live.

When I see a deed of kindness, I am eager to be kind.

When a weaker brother stumbles and a strong man stays behind

Just to see if he can help him, then the wish grows strong in me.

To become as big and thoughtful as I know that friend to be.

And all travelers can witness that the best of guides today

Is not the one who tells them, but the one who shows the way.

One good man teaches many, men believe what they behold;

One deed of kindness noticed is worth forty that are told.

Who stands with men of honor learns to hold his honor dear,

For right living speaks a language which to every one is clear.

Though an able speaker charms me with his eloquence, I say,

I'd rather see a sermon than to hear one, any day.

Blessings In Suffering

2011-06-01T23:46:00.005-06:00

In asking for topics women wanted to study in our summer Ladies class, one of the topics was God's reasons for suffering. I spent hours and hours reading and trying to decide how to address that topic. Some of the smartest philosophers in the world can't really answer the questions involved in suffering and whether it is from God or from Satan. If it is from Satan then why does God allow it? I even came across a new thought I had never heard of called Open Theism which suggest the future has not happened, so God does not know the future. I decided that everyone has their own conclusions and that the bottom line we pretty much have to work out the how's and why's in our own minds and for me it comes down to trust. Either I trust God is in control or not. Then the question will come up "how can a good God allow such bad things to happen and not intervene". Again, either I just trust His reasons or I don't. I choose to trust....atheists choose not to.

So I decided that the best course of action for this class was to focus on the benefits that come from suffering based on my experience. Although I did get some of the ideas from Joni Eareckson Tada and Randy Alcorn. I can't list all the verses I referenced because of limited space here, but if you would like the entire document you can email me at lynnleaming@comcast.net, and I would be glad to send it to you.

BENEFITS TO SUFFERING

1. Makes Me Participate With Jesus

Philippians 3:10-I

want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death.

Makes Me More Like Jesus

2 Corinthians 4:8-10-We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.

3. Brings Me Into His Word/Teaches Me Obedience

Psalm 119:67-Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I obey your word.

Psalm 119:71-It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees

4. Refines Me

Isaiah 48:10-See, I have refined you, though not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction.

5. Humbles Me

Psalm 51:16-17-You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings. My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart.

6. Increases My Patience

Romans 12:12-Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. You, God, will not despise.

7. Teaches Me to Rejoice in God’s Provision

Psalm 68:19-Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens.

Isaiah 49:13-Shout for joy, you heavens; rejoice, you earth; burst into song, you mountains! For the LORD comforts his people and will have compassion on his afflicted ones.

8.Bolsters My Confidence In Prayer

Psalm 22:24-For he has not despised or scorned the suffering of the afflicted one; he has not hidden his face from him but has listened to his cry for help.

9.Develops My Prayer Life

Psalm 10:17-You, LORD, hear the desire of the afflicted; you encourage them, and you listen to their cry.

Psalm 72:12-For he will deliver the needy who cry out, the afflicted who have no one to help.

10. Increases My Dependence On God

Psalm 119:50-My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life.

2 Corinthians 12:9-But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

11. Teaches Me Strength

Joel 3:10-Let the weakling say, “I am strong!”

2 Corinthians 12:10-That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

12. Helps Me Look Forward to Heaven

Romans 8:18-I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.

2 Corinthians 4:17-For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.

2 Timothy 2:12-If we endure, we will also reign with him.

13.Allows God To Use Me As His Instrument

2 Corinthians 1:3-7-Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.

Knowing God

2011-05-27T17:23:00.000-06:00

For the past several weeks I have been contemplating the difference between Knowing God and Knowing About God. I think as I evaluate my own life that I know quite a bit about God, but I don't really know God. You might be asking, "what is the difference"? That is exactly what I have been asking as well. Being raised by a Christian mother ensured that I would be a "church goer", so I have heard about God for as long as I can remember. I can tell you numerous Bible stories that I have learned over the years. All these stories show how God was involved in the life of whatever character is being discussed. So you can read those stories and think "that was cool" or "that was really harsh". I don't think I have read those stories asking myself, "so what does this tell me about God?" Or perhaps the better question is what does God want to reveal about Himself to me through this story, because I do believe that two people can read the same story and get something completely different from it. Bottom line is that every story in the Bible is a story about a relationship with God.

So if my life story was written what would it tell others about me and God? I have gone to church all my life, I have taught bible class most of my life. I have been in numerous Bible studies. But I must confess that most of the time I have done those things out of obligation to God, not out of relationship. It is what I am supposed to do. Where is the hunger? Where is the thirst? When do I grow to the point that I want to be in the Word because I realize that it is the very breath that I breathe and I cannot live without it? Job 23:12 says "I have treasured the word of thy mouth more than my bread". David says in Psalms 42:1 "as the deer pants for the water, so my soul pants after you, O Lord." I wish I could say the same. I wish I had that same kind of hunger and thirst.

I read quotes in books, listen to songs, read blogs and there are so many other people that have a much deeper faith than I do. All I know is that God promises to give us the desires of our heart in Psalm 37:4 if our delight is in Him. So I will continue to ask Him if I might know Him deeper and to hunger and thirst after Him and perhaps one day I will be able to say with all sincerity "I long for you God as much as I long for the next breath I will take."

Two days ago I came across this blog http://mabeecolwell.weebly.com/ written by a father who was getting ready to say goodbye to his 3 week old child and I yearned to have the kind of faith that this dad has. He joins my list of Heroes of Faith who I try to learn from. The reality is each of us can only know God through our own heart, not the heart of another, but if I didn't know there was a deeper level, I wouldn't know what to pray for.

Heavenly Praise

2011-05-24T01:13:00.003-06:00

Still wondering why there were so many more jokes about the prediction of the rapture, than actual disappointment that it did not happen? I wondered if one of the reasons we don't think of heaven much is that we have quit singing about heaven? When is the last time you sang any of these old hymns?

1. When We All Get To Heaven

2. I'll Fly Away

3. This World Is Not My Home

4. Above The Bright Blue

5. Heaven Is A Wonderful Place

6. No Tears In Heaven

7. How Beautiful Heaven Must Be

8. When The Roll Is Called Up Yonder

9. We're Marching To Zion

10. Sweet By and By

11. How Beautiful Heaven Must Be

12. Glory Land Way

13. Mansion Over The Hilltop

14. Beautiful Isle of Somewhere

15. Jesus Is Coming Soon

16. We Shall See The King Someday

17. Beulah Land

18. I'll Be Somewhere Listening

In this day of "worship songs" our songs are more songs directed towards God. I love the new worship songs. But I sure don't want to forget the great hymns that I was raised on either. I am sure there are other songs about Heaven. These are just the ones I could think of off the top of my head. Funny thing is when I think back on singing them, there are several of them I just did not enjoy singing and it seemed like we sang them so much, and yet now that we don't sing them, I still can sing at least a verse or two of all of these. I do remember wondering why when we did sing them not many people seemed very happy by the expression on their face.

Maybe I am the only one that needs to remind myself "This world is not my home, I am just passing through"....I don't want to get so comfortable here that I no longer long to go home. So hopefully I will keep singing about Heaven and with a big smile on my face.

P.S. When I told Steve about this post, he told me to be sure and not forget his favorite "Off We Go Into The Wild Blue Yonder"..........and like you I just rolled my eyes :-)

Second Coming

2011-05-19T23:31:00.005-06:00

There have been all sorts of jokes circulating this week about the May 21st prediction of the rapture. I have been surprised at how many Christians have been posting on Facebook silly comments about that and so many responding to the posts in jest. I don't think anyone is intentionally meaning any harm by these, but nonetheless I have been bothered.

First of all, the people that are part of the Harold Camping Judgement Day movement actually believe what they are promoting. They aren't just trying to get noticed or get press. They truly believe that the Lord is going to come again on May 21st. If He doesn't come, imagine their disappointment. Imagine the way Satan will use it to show them that their faith is not worth anything. Don't get me wrong. I don't think we can predict when the Lord is coming. I think there are too many verses that lead us to believe that no one knows the day or the hour, not even the Lord Himself. (Matthew 24:26) And that it will be like a thief coming in the night (I Thessalonians 5:2). But I just don't think we should make light of those who are believing in error the teachings of Harold Camping. I think we should be praying for them.

Another problem with what is going on, is it is just another way for the "world" to laugh at Christianity. Another radical idea from the Christian right. An opportunity for us to show a true Jesus response and instead for the rest of the word to see, we are making jokes about it.

When is the last time any of us looked at the skies in anticipation of our Lord coming again? To be honest, I for one pray Camping is right. Am I preparing for it? Not anymore than I prepare for it any day.....wait a minute...exactly how am I prepared??? If I honestly believed that today was the day Jesus was coming back how would I live life differently? The main thing is I would be begging my family members that don't know Him to turn to Him as I don't want any of them to be lost. So what am I waiting for? I don't want to offend anyone, I don't want them to think I am pushy, I don't want them to not want to be around me, so I don't say anything in hopes that they will just see my life as different and decide on their own they want a relationship with the Lord. Other than that, I would just be on my knees praying for the Lord's mercy and that He will find me worthy to take home. I know there is nothing more I can do at this point. Either Jesus blood covers me or it doesn't. I wish I could say I would just be on my knees with my hands outstretched to heaven waiting for Him in all confidence that I would be going home. Do I have doubts.....not really....but at the same time I think I would still be begging for mercy because while I know I am a blood soaked sinner, I am still a sinner. Have I a done enough? Absolutely not....will I be judged on what I have done? Yes and no. I will never be able to do enough and we cannot work for our salvation. But has my love for the Lord spurred me to serve Him to my fullest capacity, could I do more? Yes, yes, yes.

Why is it that we want to stay here more than we want to go home? Instead of joking about it, why aren't we praying that it is the day? Have we forgotten that "this world is not our home"?

Not me....I am ready. I want to go home. I want to see my God, my Savior. I want to see my heroes of faith, I want to see my Dad. So in a way I will be just as disappointed on the 22nd if I wake up and the Lord has not called me home as Harold Camping. But perhaps I will then keep my eye on the sky and be more active in making sure I am telling as many others as possible about His coming so a few more will go with me, if we do have a little more time.

My Mama'

2011-05-16T22:58:00.012-06:00

Yes, Mother's Day has come and gone, it has been awhile since I had a "mama post" and I wanted to honor her with one for Mother's Day. But then things have been pretty crazy busy since then and I just didn't have time to post...so now things have settled down and I thought I would write this post about my mom.

My mother and I have been blessed with a special relationship for 57 years. She has been such a strong influence in my life. If it weren't for her I would not know the Lord or have the relationship with Him that I have. She was always faithful to take us to church and teach us about the Lord, even if it meant going by herself. She has faced more adversity than anyone I know in terms of deaths in her family and yet her faith has remained strong.

She did not even have a high school diploma, but when she was forced to go back to work when I was about 12, she found a job that supported three children and then ended up teaching her self the skills required to be a church secretary.

She was always an amazing hostess who loved to cook and entertain. If she told you to come at 6:00 for dinner, it was ready the minute the doorbell rang. Fortunately, my husband thinks that I am a good cook because of the things she taught me. Although, I am still not as good at organization and having everything exactly so when company comes through the door.

My mom is one of the most selfless people I know, always putting everyone elses needs before her own. She has been a mainstay for me in my recovery the last 10 years. I remember in Dallas that she overcame her fear of driving on the freeways just to come and sit with me at the hospital which wasn't close to our house. Then when I finally was able to come home from the hospital she faithfully provided meals and cleaned my house for months until I could do so. But to this day if I am having a "big" function she comes and helps however I need her to.

My heart broke for my mom in September when she lost the love of her life. It has been so difficult watching her be so lost without him. They had such a wonderful marriage, and she was really his partner in ministry. For the last five years she had been such a wonderful care giver. Her heart has been broken and there is nothing I can do. For Mother's Day we did get her a Shih Tzu puppy in hopes that he could give her a little companionship. His name is Yoshi and they have become instant friends.

I could go on and on and on....let me end by just listing some of my favorite memories of my mom.

1. Our times of prayer together and talks about God and all things faith.

2. The way she used to dress us alike.

3. Wonderful holidays and celebrations. A major love of Christmas, and even after she outgrew it she helps me decorate to the nines because she knows I love it!

4. Making hamburgers and going to see Elvis movies at the Drive-In movies.

5. Being my traveling companion and our trips to NY, Bush Gardens, The Madonna Inn, etc.

6. Fun camping trips and catching trout and Dolly Varden

7. Playing games.....Spades, Uno, Sequence, Wii

8. Doing retreats together where she was the speaker and I was the worship leader.

9. Her being my biggest fan and cheerleader, no matter what I was doing

10. The countless times she forgave me for my mistakes, hurtful things said, tones of voice, etc.

Once again I could probably go on and on. Thank you Mama' for being the best Mother a daugther could ask for. Thank you for your unconditional love and the way you have poured the love of our Heavenly Father all over me. Thank you for showing me what faith looks like in the good times and the bad. Thank you for helping me keep my eyes on the prize. I am so thankful that you and I will share eternity together and look forward to the day we not only get to see our Savior, but we get to be with Daddy again.

Our Royal Wedding

2011-04-29T20:57:00.006-06:00

So they say 3 Billion people watched the Royal Wedding today. Why is it that we are so fascinated with the royal family of England? There are 23 other countries that are ruled by a queen or king. If it had been the son of Queen Margrethe II of Denmark getting married would there still have been such a big hoopla? It was a lovely ceremony and filled with many references to God. I hope the 3 billion people watching heard the words to the hymns that were song, the verses from Romans 12 that were read and the prayers that were prayed. What an opportunity for the Lord to be proclaimed. Of course being the cynic I am, I can't help but wonder how much more of an impact could have been made if William and Kate had not been already been living together before they got married?
I read an article today that said 4 in 10 Americans think that marriage is becoming obsolete. Dr. John Sentamu, the Archbishop of York, backed the William and Kate's decision to live together and stated, "that many modern couples want to test the milk before they buy the cow". It does seem to be true that more and more couples think it is okay to "test the waters" before they take the plunge. So as I listened to William and Kate's prayer that God bless their marriage, I wondered if God accepted their plea? Did the fact that they got married wipe away their sin of fornication?

Not sure why I am blogging about this? I couldn't help but wonder how many of the 3 Billion people are anxiously awaiting our Bridegroom and contemplating our marriage in heaven with our Lord Jesus Christ? Talk about a true Royal Wedding!! Our eternal marriage to the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.

"Then I heard what sounded like a great multitude, like a roar of rushing waters and like loud peals of thunder, shouting: "Hallelujah, for the Lord Almighty reigns. Let us rejoice and be glad and give Him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and His bride has made herself ready. Fine linen, bright and clean was given to hear to wear. (fine linen stands for the righteous acts of God's holy people) Then the angel said to me, 'Blessed are those who are invited to the wedding supper of the Lamb!' and he added, 'These are the true words of God.'"

Revelation 19:6-9

Marital Bliss

2011-04-03T19:45:00.004-06:00

42 years ago today God did some of His most amazing work in my life by bringing my mom and dad together in marriage. I was 15 at the time. In an effort to honor my mother, I won't talk about her marriage prior to that. Suffice it to say it was not good and she was not loved the way she deserved to be loved. God redeemed that brokenness in an amazing and complete way. She was blessed to be married to one of the Godliest men I know. He loved His Lord and he loved spreading His Word. He didn't just "talk the talk", he "walked the walk". He loved my mom and honored her in a way that all children dream of. When the Lord is at the center of one's heart, He will be at the center of their marriage.

I know that everyone that loses their spouse grieves and goes through a difficult time, but I think my mom has a harder road than most. When I was a junior in college my dad, quit his occupation of sheet metal worker and entered Sunset School of Preaching. Upon graduation, they moved to Parma, Idaho, population 1,800. The church was round 75 people. They ministered there for 15 years. Notice I say "they ministered". Yes, my dad did preach and teach every Sunday, but the two of them ministered to that church and the community. They were together all the time. Unlike other ministers who office at the church building, their house was right across the street from the building and my dad officed at the house. Then in the late 80's God called them into a ministry as traveling evangelist. They lived in a 5th wheel and traveled throughout Idaho, Wyoming and Montana ministering to small churches who could not afford a full time preacher.

While they had a nice 5th wheel, it was still a 5th wheel. Not much room to escape each other in a 5th wheel. And for 10 years they would go from town to town ministering and blessing churches and communities. Until my father's health began failing and he was no longer able to preach or travel, and they moved closer to Steve and I in Texas. Because of the way they had chose to live and minister, they did not have a lot of money, so they were not able to retire to a big house with land in the country as they would have dreamed, but in a small 2 room apartment. But you never heard them complain. And they just got busy in the small town of Gunter in blessing that church with their talents as well. They were there about five years before it became necessary to move them even closer to Steve and I and more importantly to the VA where my dad was in need of more regular treatment. Gunter was about an hour away, but now they would be 3 minutes away. We found them a small condo.

In 2005 my Dad began having strokes, the first two major ones happening during church service in which the paramedics had to be called and that caused him to be shy about going to services again for the fear of being a disruption, so he and my mom stayed home, but never failed to worship as they spent time listening to several different TV evangelist and having communion together and praying. Even though my Dad couldn't get out, he never lost his love for the Word and he and my mom would sit everyday just talking about God with one another. It was nothing for them to spend hours at a time doing so.

That is why I say my mom's road has been harder. They were together almost 24/7 for most of those years. They were truly "soul mates". My heart hurts so much for her, as I know how much she misses him. But she continues to face each day and even more so days like today (their anniversary) with courage and strength. Knowing that He is enjoying his days with our Lord does help and knowing that we will see him again one day gives us the hope we need to keep on keeping on. But as I sit here with Steve sitting beside me and we talk and visit, I don't take for granted the blessing that that time is and realize how hard it would be if it were just me and the television. I thank God for allowing me to see what it looks like when He is at the center of a marriage and two hearts are as one in service to Him. I thank Him for His plan and bringing my parents together and His plan that they would be my biggest heroes of faith. But I pray more fervently these days that He sends His Son to take us home quickly so that my mom can be reunited with her love and we can all be in the presence of our Heavenly Father, the one we love most of all.

Needed Reminders

2011-03-28T16:09:00.002-06:00

My friend Joyce sent an email today with some very needed reminders for me today. I just get too wrapped up in the everyday of life too often and forget what is the most important. I think I would definitely be Martha in the Mary and Martha story, and how often Jesus must say "Lynn, Lynn choose what is the better". The original article had 1-8, and then two things I didn't think were relevant, so I created 9-15.

Ten (I made it 15) things God will not ask me on the last day:

1. God will not ask what kind of car I drove BUT how many people I gave a ride to who didn't have transportation.
2. God will not ask me the square footage of my home, BUT how many people I welcomed into my home.
3. God will not ask about the clothes in my closet, BUT how many people I helped to clothe.
4. God will not ask about the highest salary I obtained, BUT what did I compromise to get it.
5. God will not ask what my job title was, BUT did I do my job to the best of my ability.
6. God will not ask how many friends I had, BUT how many was I a friend to.
7. God will not ask about the neighborhood I lived in, BUT how did I treat my neighbors?
8. God will not ask about the color of my skin BUT the content of my character.
9. God will not ask me about my favorite recipe, BUT how many people did I feed.
10. God will not ask me how many books did I read, BUT did I love His book more than any other?
11. God will not ask me how many children did I have, BUT are my children faithfully following Him.
12. God will not ask me about how much money I had, BUT how much I gave to the poor.
13. God will not ask me how many years I was married, BUT did I love, honor and respect my husband the years I was married.
14. God will not ask me how many times I attended church BUT did I love Him with all my heart, soul, mind and strength.
15. God will not ask did I write a good blog BUT did I put into practice what I preached.

I watched a documentary about Mother Theresa over the weekend, and once again was reminded, that there is so much more I could be doing to be making a difference in this world. I need to get out of my comfort zone and be more active in the kingdom of God. I want to stand before Him one day, knowing I was willing to be used by Him however He called me.

Then yesterday we had a guest speaker at church, Buddy Bell, that talked about our need to have a passion for the Lord and a vision for doing His calling.

So like God often does 3 days in a row He sends me the same message. Guess I just don't get it the first time. But he is saying "Lynn get busy and do something". I am praying my reply is the same as Isaiah "Here I am Lord, send me".

Moment By Moment

2011-01-26T22:57:00.002-07:00

In Bible Study Fellowship this morning we sang this song that I had never heard before "moment By Moment". This is a song that I need to memorize. The truths are so simple, yet so powerful. If only I could trust Jesus every minute of every hour to be all that I need Him to be. There is not one need that I have that He cannot take care of, if I would just lay it at His feet.
Why is that so hard for me to do? There are just as many scriptures that speak these truths.
God wants to be near to me and wants me to rely on Him as I rely on air to breathe. I pray that I can commit these truths to my heart and live life accordingly.

Moment By Moment
Daniel W. Whittle, 1893

Dying with Jesus, by death reckoned mine;
Living with Jesus, a new life divine;
Looking to Jesus till glory doth shine,
Moment by moment, O Lord, I am Thine.

Moment by moment I'm kept in His love;
Moment by moment I've life from above;
Looking to Jesus till glory doth shine;
Moment by moment, O Lord, I am Thine

Never a trial that He is not there,
Never a burden that He does not bear,
Never a sorrow that He does not share,
Moment by moment, I'm under His care.

Never a heartache, and never a groan,
Never a teardrop and never a moan;
Never a danger but there on the throne,
Moment by moment He thinks of His own.

Never a weakness that He does not feel,
Never a sickness that He cannot heal;
Moment by moment, in woe or in weal, (had to look weal up, it means well)
Jesus my Savior, abides with me still.

Moment by moment, I'm kept in His love,
Moment by moment, I've life from above.
Looking to Jesus till glory doth shine,
Moment by moment, O Lord I am thine.

God's Word Is Powerful

2011-01-12T21:43:00.010-07:00

Priscilla McNabb sent me this link today about the people in Indonesia recieving the Bible for the first time in their native language. I was so humbled in watching it realizing that there are many days I don't even pick up one of the plethora of Bibles that I have in my house. God forgive me. I repent of my complacency and ask my God to renew my excitement to commune with Him each day and hear what He has to say to me. God you are so awesome to talk to me in such remarkable ways.

file://vimeo.com/16493505

Our First Christmas After

2011-01-01T22:49:00.004-07:00

Well, Christmas is now over and it is a New Year. We missed my father terribly, but we made it through. It helped that we were with family and especially small children that we could focus on. I am so thankful for the extra time I got with my mother. Steve is so sweet and supportive and doesn't mind the extra time I was either away with us shopping or going to the movies, or just her coming and spending the night at the house. The best part of my relationship with my mother is the spiritual connnection we share. We get to have some great conversations and some really special times in prayer together.

I had seen these "memorials" on line and I thought about buying her one, and then I said "you can write one yourself". So I did. It was important to me that she know that Daddy was not forgotten this holiday and she wasn't the only one still missing him.

He was your life,
You were his dear wife.
“Till death do we part”
You pledged from the start.

How hard that reality would be
You could not have known,
When he went home to His Lord
And you were left here alone.

So many good times the two of you did share,
But having them and not him is so hard to bear.
You miss his sweet voice and holding his hand
How do you go on without your best friend?

You have known so much happiness,
You have had your cup full of joy,
And your memories are a gift from God
That death cannot destroy.

May you feel God’s arms around you
as He gently shows the way,
As He wraps you in His arms of comfort
And gives you strength for each new day.

Your memories are your keepsake
with which you’ll never part,
God has Daddy in His safe keeping
You’ll always have him in your heart.

He gives you His assurance
heavenly reunions there will be,
Eternity with Him you can be certain
and Daddy’s face again you’ll see

Love So Amazing

2010-12-14T22:31:00.006-07:00

Sometimes I stop long enough to actually contemplate God's love for me and it takes my breath away. I wish I could express it as well as some of the musical artist out there. About a week ago I was getting dressed and the lyrics of a song caught my attention. I thought I could remember them and look them up later, but I haven't been able to find them, as I was looking for "what kind of king"....then this morning I heard it again and made sure I wrote it down. It is by a group I have never heard of before, Downhere and called "How Many Kings?"...the lyrics are amazing and have made me once again realize how great the Father's love is for me. I am so glad that nothing I do or don't do can cause Him to love me any more or any less. Thank you God. This has quickly become my new favorite song.

Christmas Cards

2010-12-02T23:20:00.002-07:00

I usually buy my Christmas Cards when they go on sale after Christmas for the following year. I started many years ago trying to pick a card that has a great message about Christ and not just a fun Christmas or Winter scene. It might be the only chance that some of the people I send the card to hear anything about my Lord and the reason for the season.

This year I decided I might need more cards than what I bought last year since we moved and now I need to add some Texas friends to my list. So while at Walmart yesterday I decided to see if I could find a card I liked. Imagine my surprise when Walmart's displays were all labeled Holiday cards. The ones that had a spiritual message were called Inspirational cards. Holiday cards?? I didn't see any for Valentines or Easter, just Christmas cards....why is it that Christmas is the only day of celebration that is now a holiday? Because no other holiday as the word Christ associated with it. You don't see Happy Holiday on an Easter card. So why can't Walmart just label the cards as what they are....Christmas Cards? I wonder if Walmart and all the other stores that have removed Christmas from their advertising realize that the word Holiday is actually derived from "holy day"? Political correctness....if there are Hanukah cards, Kwanza cards, and Holiday cards, why can't there also be a section called Christmas cards? So I just didn't buy any of Walmart's Holiday cards and went to Hobby Lobby and found some cute Christmas cards entitled "Sharing The Story". Thought they were perfect as that is what I want to do with my Christmas cards is share the story.

Walking In Daddy's Shoes

2010-11-22T20:56:00.007-07:00

When we were little we always tried to walk in our parent’s shoes. We’ve all seen those pictures of those little feet in those big shoes. We could never dream that we would ever be able to fill those shoes.
(this is my niece Alyssa in her Grandy's boots)
Today is the 2 month anniversary of my Daddy’s homegoing and I was just thinking of the big spiritual shoes he left to fill. My mom gave me a pair of his boots that I have sitting in my bedroom and each time I walk by them I am reminded of the big shoes that I have to fill. I am not sure I ever will, but it does keep me humble and give me something to aim for.

My father was one of the most spiritual men that I have ever known. He loved his God with every fiber of his being and found no greater joy than when he was able to share His Word with others, or just sit and talk to you one on one about a passage that He had read and what it meant to him. We had some great conversations and some great prayer time together. Others may talk to their dads about politics or sports or the weather, but our talks were mostly spiritual and had to do with what God was doing in our lives. What a blessing that was and how I miss those times!

So today in his honor, I wrote this poem:

Walking In Daddy’s Shoes

My sweet Daddy you left such big shoes to fill
When it comes to being a Christian you were the real deal.
Loving your heavenly Father with all of your heart
Pouring His love out on me right from the start.

There has been that saying “what would Jesus do?”
To watch you would give me a very good clue?
You loved God’s Word, studied it through and through
My best memories are talking about His Word and praying with you.

I can only hope that one day my heart will be pure like yours,
I want to resist Satan, his temptations and his lures.
I want to be kindhearted, compassionate with grace flowing deep,
Like you I want no unkind word from my lips ever to seep.

I want to love Steve with the love you had for mother,
To be faithful to him always with a love for no other.
Watching you love made me always believe,
If I prayed and I waited I too would receive.

I want to live my life in a way that other’s will say
Her daddy must be proud when he looks down on her today,
Her love for her Heavenly Father is obviously real
In part from those big shoes her earthy father left her to fill.

I love you Daddy with all of my heart,
So sad that God's plan was for us to part.
But I know where you are and where I will be
And yearn for the day when you again I will see.

Joy

2010-11-18T23:00:00.003-07:00

In Ladies Bible Class we are studying Beth Moore's study "Stepping Up" on the Psalms of ascent. Today's lesson was on the Feast of Tabernacles and what a time of rejoicing that was for the children of Israel. Beth was so very excited to share the things that the Lord had taught her. She made this comment "sometimes I am so full of joy, I think my face will explode and skin will be plastered to the wall" I thought to myself "When have I ever been that full of joy"? When have I ever been so excited about what God has told me in His Word or has whispered in my ear that I was so full of joy it just spilled on anyone that came my way? Better question is "what is it that holds me back"? I am praying that my heart will be transformed into the heart of the Psalmist in Psalms 145:

1 I will exalt you, my God the King;
I will praise your name for ever and ever.
2 Every day I will praise you
and extol your name for ever and ever.
3 Great is the LORD and most worthy of praise;
his greatness no one can fathom.
4 One generation commends your works to another;
they tell of your mighty acts.
5 They speak of the glorious splendor of your majesty—
and I will meditate on your wonderful works.[b]
6 They tell of the power of your awesome works—
and I will proclaim your great deeds.
7 They celebrate your abundant goodness
and joyfully sing of your righteousness.
8 The LORD is gracious and compassionate,
slow to anger and rich in love.
9 The LORD is good to all;
he has compassion on all he has made.
10 All your works praise you, LORD;
your faithful people extol you.
11 They tell of the glory of your kingdom
and speak of your might,
12 so that all people may know of your mighty acts
and the glorious splendor of your kingdom.
13 Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom,
and your dominion endures through all generations.
The LORD is trustworthy in all he promises
and faithful in all he does.
14 The LORD upholds all who fall
and lifts up all who are bowed down.
15 The eyes of all look to you,
and you give them their food at the proper time.
16 You open your hand
and satisfy the desires of every living thing.
17 The LORD is righteous in all his ways
and faithful in all he does.
18 The LORD is near to all who call on him,
to all who call on him in truth.
19 He fulfills the desires of those who fear him;
he hears their cry and saves them.
20 The LORD watches over all who love him,
but all the wicked he will destroy.
21 My mouth will speak in praise of the LORD.
Let every creature praise his holy name
for ever and ever.

Giving Thanks

2010-11-17T16:18:00.002-07:00

I don't know about you but I am so guilty of getting caught in all the trappings of the holidays, that I actually spend very little time thinking about the true meaning of the holidays. The last few years I have done better about actually celebrating my Jesus at Christmas, but this year I thought perhaps I needed to do more to embrace Thanksgiving. Thanks to Facebook, lots of people have been posting what they are thankful for, so I thought I would just brainstorm here and see how many things I could come up with in ten minutes??

1. I am thankful for a God who loves me unconditionally.
2. I am thankful that I am a recipient of every spiritual blessing in Christ Jesus.
3. I am thankful for the home that is awaiting me.
2. I am thankful for a husband who loves that God and therefore loves me
unconditionally
3. I am thankful for a father who is now with my God and for all the love he
poured out on me.
4. I am thankful for a mother who chooses to continue to trust God and allow Him to
be her God of all comfort.
5. I am thankful for a mother who instilled faith into my heart and showed me who
God is. I am thankful that she and I can pray together and study the Word
together.
6. I am thankful for family that keeps life interesting.
7. I am thankful for the myriad of friends God has blessed me with who make this
life journey so much fuller.
8. I am thankful for the gifts and abilities God has blessed me with that allow me
to participate in ministry.
9. I am thankful for the physical blessings God has given me: a home, food,
clothes, cars and a computer to blog with :-)
10. I am thankful for the beauty of this earth, especially now what I see everyday
in Colorado
11. I am thankful for our new small group.
12. I am thankful for my old small group.
13. I am thankful for men and women of God who have the gift of writing that help me
grow deeper in my faith
14. I am thankful for the doctors God has used to give me healing
15. I am thankful for the drugs which help me be able to function in my pain.
16. I am thankful for those that have the gift of music and how their music and
lyrics bless my soul.
17. I am thankful for Facebook and being able to stay in touch and be back in touch
with those who no longer live near

So that is it for 10 minutes. I am sure there is so much more. Perhaps I should have just said I would see how long I could go. Now the real test is not to just use ten minutes to make a list, but to recognize the things that are around me every minute of every day to be thankful for. And while I am at it....thanks to those of you who still take the time to drop by and read these words....you keep me humble.

May you all have a wonderful season of Thanksgiving.

God's Miracles

2010-10-29T23:44:00.003-06:00

To me there is no greater miracle of God than a new born baby. Today we drove up to Denver to meet Noah Caswell Landis. He is my brother Brent's first grandson and third grandchild. Christa and her husband Robby have a 2 year old little girl, Ella.
When we arrived at the hospital, Ella was trying to decide what she thought of her new baby brother.

Noah weighed 7lbs, 2 ounces and was 20 inches long, but he just seemed so small. I know that it will just be a blink of an eye and he will be a toddler.

You hold that sweet baby and wonder what they are thinking. Especially as we are all talking baby talk and saying silly things. Can't wait to see what Noah's little personality will be. His sister Ella is very smart and constantly on the go, she wants to make sure she doesn't miss a thing. It is going to be so much fun being able to watch them both grow up from a closer range than Texas.

Questioning God

2010-10-23T19:28:00.005-06:00

There are times in our life that we go through something that rocks our world as we know it and the doors to our heart of faith are rattled. The last month has been another one of those times for me. For 3 1/2 years we have known that we were living on borrowed time when it came to my father. So it wasn't the fact that he was going to die that was difficult. We wanted him to win the victory he has been fighting for. But I guess I always just thought he would die peacefully in his sleep. And for sure I had never even contemplated what it would be like to be with him when he took his last breath. Well, for almost 2 weeks I was with my father during his last days because he had a series of strokes that left him unable to be mobile and my mom needed help. It was so hard watching him no longer be able to use his right hand, but even worse was when he could no longer speak and would get so frustrated trying. But that pails in comparison to his last few days where he was not in control of anything and in so much pain. God would give us a few bright moments when he was able to say something that we could understand. But most of the time we just tried to keep him comfortable with morphine. The more and more I prayed that God would take him home, the more and more frustrated I became that God just left him in pain. It just seemed that God had abandoned us. I had to keep telling myself that that was not true because God promises to never leave us or forsake us at least five different times in the Bible, including Hebrews 13:5. I just couldn't understand how a God of love, kindness and compassion, would let someone endure such turmoil and pain in their final hours? Where was that "peace that passes all understanding?" What was I suppose to be learning? I kept saying "I will trust, even though You don't feel very trustworthy right now". Then I finally started talking to Satan and telling him to leave that he was not going to win.

Don't you find it difficult when God doesn't conform to your preconcieved idea of who He is? I imagine He just sits up in heaven and shakes His head and says "I wonder if she will ever get it, I AM God and she is not". Sometimes I wish that He would just answer my questions, and yet why do I think He should? Isn't that what Job wanted? Like God owes me any answers??? No, but wouldn't He just like to share some with me? Who am I kidding? Even if He did answer, He is God, would I even understand His answers??

Then for the past 10 days we have been with Steve's mother who is also having health problems. She said over and over again "I just want this to be over with, I want to go see Herb" (her husband who passed 7 years ago) Then on top of everything else she started having nightmares that she could not distinguish between reality and a dream. They bothered her throughout the day. Interesting that she could remember every day at exactly 5:00 to take a pill, but could not understand that she needed to change her Depends every day. It was so hard watching her not be able to do the easiest of things on her own.

So once again I am talking to God. God, why does this have to be so hard? Why do these sweet little people have to leave this earth in such a hard way? Isn't death suppose to be a good thing? How do you keep your eye on the prize, when things are so awful? I remember at one time my father's favorite saying was "Hallelujah anyway". I don't remember him being able to say that at the end. So once again it is just hard not to question God and ask Him where He is in the midst of suffering.
When we are younger suffering can teach us some lessons and even draw us closer to God. But when your mind is not what it once was you don't learn anything from suffering. You can't even begin to question what the purpose must be. So then it is left to those around to process.

I have no answers, just more questions, but this I do know. God doesn't mind my questions. He understands that I have them. This is the fine line. Demanding an answer. God owes me nothing. He is God and I am not. I have no other choice but to trust that His reasons are perfect because they can be no less. There is so much suffering in this world. I can wish that the elderly didn't have to suffer, but then what about children? What about those in 3rd world countries? What about those who are trapped in bodies that do not work at all but their minds are sharp? Or what about those whose minds are not sharp but their bodies work fine? In this world there is all sorts of suffering and no one is immune. Why does God allow it?? I have no idea, but it makes me look even more anxiously towards heaven, not just because there will be no pain or sorrow there, but because all things will be made known. Will it matter? Maybe not....but I just see myself with a big smile on my face nodding and affirming "yep....you are God and I am not". In the meantime I will remind myself that "only when the night is darkest can you see the morning star." (Larry Crabb, in 66 Love Letters)

Fall in Colorado

2010-10-06T17:19:00.005-06:00

Fall has always been my favorite time of year. Unfortunately, in Texas there isn't much of change when Fall comes. I remember when I lived a short time in Tennessee how beautiful the trees were when they changed colors, and one time I went to visit my friend, Terry, in Ohio and the colors were breathtaking. So I was hoping to see a similar site in Colorado. This past weekend my mom and I went on a short trip up through the mountains and the Aspens were beautiful. Not like big oak trees or the bright oranges and reds, but nevertheless breathtaking.

We are still putting one foot in front of the other and trying to take the next step.
Mother and I were able to find a bed and breakfast in Pine, Colorado (Arabian Farms)to spend a little time of peace and tranquility. It was a working horse farm. We enjoyed our stay and just sitting out in God's creation.

I take great comfort in knowing that no matter how beautiful Fall is, my Daddy is where beauty cannot be matched. Heaven is a glorious place and I can't wait to get there. I am reminded of a song we used to sing when I was in youth group:

Heaven is a wonderful place,
Filled with glory and grace,
I wanna see my Savior's face,
Heaven is a wonderful place.

Celebrating Daddy's Life

2010-10-03T22:04:00.005-06:00

23 people gathered in my living room on September 28th to celebrate the life of my Father. Five of his six children and their spouses (and one girlfriend) were present, 4 of his 8 grandchildren and all five of his great grandchildren. Mother and Daddy had planned his funeral several years ago. It was a sweet, intimate time. I was asked to lead the opening prayer. I also sang "Oh I Want To See Him",
Brent, Brad, Caren and Cathy joined in for "Precious Memories". Different ones read some of Daddy's favorite verses: Psalm 86:1-17,Isaiah 40:28-31 and Philippians 1:19-21. Several years ago Daddy had written his own 23rd Psalm, which Brad read after Brent read the scriptural 23rd Psalm.

"The Lord is my heavenly wheelchair,I shall not want….Because…
He transports me to many beautiful and peaceful places.
He restores my Body, Spirit and Soul by His righteousness.
Even though in this world, I walk through the firey darts of demons
and devils that harbor nothing but evil and eternal death,
I will not fear their evil intents and purposes,
Because my “Wheel Chair” supports me.
The Seat on which I set was made in Heaven.
The Backrest is the immovable Power and Promises of the Gospel.
The Wheels keep me on the strait and narrow Way.
The Brake levers keep me from temptation.
The Foot Pads were designed and established by my God and will never
let my feet slip or fall.
The Arm Rests are the Loving Arms of my Savior and are made of indestructible Love, Grace and Mercy,they will never fail me.
My “Wheel Chair” will usher me into God’s Glorious Table of Blessings in spite of the attacks of my enemies.
Though my flesh grows weak, my head is anointed with Joy and Gladness.
My Cup overflows with God’s Love.
Surely Goodness and Mercy will follow me all the days of my life.
Jesus, My Lord, My Savior, My “Wheel Chair” will usher me into Heaven’s Eternal Reward and I will be a cripple no more.
I will dwell in The House of the Lord forever.”

This was written 3 years before my Father actually had to use a wheelchair.

The sweetest part of the service is where each child recieved a blessing that my father had written for each one several years ago. Then each child read excerpts from their own writings that they had made to Daddy in emails, cards and blogging in previous years. My mom had saved them all and compiled them. It was a sweet and intimate time. We closed the service in a time of open prayer. It was definitely a "where two or three together, there I am in the midst of them."

We passed out a picture of Daddy preaching to everyone because we wanted the memory of him and what he stood for to penetrate the hearts of all in attendance. Hopefully, we will all live into the legacy he has left.

We were then able to share in a meal together of ham, pulled pork, potatoe salad, chips and dip and desserts. It felt so good to be gathered as family. I just wish it hadn't taken a death to do it.

Wednesday, I accompanied mother to the mortuary to sign the death certificate. She had to sign the "cremation consent" and I read the document since she signed it without looking. I wish I hadn't as it was so very descriptive of the process. In fact, I am not so sure I will be creamated now. You can no longer spread the ashes without some kind of special permit. It made everything so very final.

You Can't Prepare

2010-10-01T22:48:00.002-06:00

The last sixteen days seem like a dream of some kind. On September 15th, my daddy had a stroke which left him unable to speak and unable to use his right arm. He could stand sometimes, but sometimes not. On September 17th we took him to the emergency room at the VA in Denver in order to get the hospice process in place. Because he was not able to get up and down out of chair on his own and my mom couldn't help him all by herself, I began staying with them to help however I could.

It was so hard watching my sweet father try so hard to speak, but not be able to get the words to come out of his mouth. He would then just get frustrated and quit trying. He continued to eat fairly well and he did understand what we were saying to him for the most part. On Tuesday the 21st, my mom convinced me to go home and sleep and said she would not get my dad up during the night, that he could just use a urinal. I was going to stop by on my way to Bible study Wednesday morning and help get him out of bed. When I got there he was on the floor. He had tried to get out of bed and my mother could not get him back up. We got him up and dressed and in his chair and my mom insisted I go on to Bible study. I should not have listened because when I got back there he was on the floor again. She had tried to stand him up to use the urinal and he wasn't able to support himself and slumped to the floor.
From then on, I did not leave my mother alone. On Wednesday night, September 22nd, I was pushing daddy to bed. I asked him to lift his feet and he did. He even pushed the bedroom door open more for us to get through then immediately, he slumped over in his chair. He was non responsive and could not hold himself up. My mother thought he had passed and wanted us to get him in his bed. We tried, but he was so very heavy and we couldn't, so we just laid him on the floor and put a pillow underneath his head. We called hospice (which thankfully had started on Tuesday afternoon) and they sent a nurse named Bruce. The thirty minutes we were waiting for Bruce to arrive, Daddy was unresponsive and we thought that he had stopped breathing, but the minute Bruce came in the door, Daddy rolled over on his side on his own accord and began breathing normally. Bruce and Steve were then able to help sit him up and then lift him to the bed. My daddy would not leave the bed after that. Another nurse came and gave him a catheter so he would not have to worry about getting out of bed.

On Thursday his regularly scheduled hospice nurses came and after examining him told us we had hours to days, but definitely not weeks. My sister was coming in a week, and my brother in two weeks, they told us we might want to call them and let them know if they wanted to see him before he passed, they better come soon. Bruce had given us some morphine to keep Daddy comfortable and the nurses added Haladol for the time he got agitated. Right before they arrived he had been vomiting, clear black liquid. They were able to give him something to stop that. He had moments of clarity, but for the most part slept. My sister Caren had come on Thursday night to stay with us as well.

My sister Cathy arrived on Friday, and since she and Caren were both there, I gave myself permission to go home, get a shower, clean clothes and sleep in my own bed.
Daddy continued to need to be sedated with the morphine. He also did not have control of his bowels. I watched my mother loving clean him and change him over and over again with never any hesitation. She wouldn't let anyone else do it. It was here service to him in love. On Saturday, my brother Brent, his wife Anne and daughter Leanne came down and spent some time. Anne is a P.A., and she agreed with the diagnosis of the hospice nurses that Daddy's time was coming to an end. We sang some songs over him, and we read numerous chapters of Psalms to him. We kept telling him it was okay to go home, but he just didn't seem to be willing to release himself. We thought that perhaps he was hanging on until my brother Brad arrived, which he did Saturday night about 11:30 p.m. Daddy knew him, and even reached up and touched Brad's goatee. About 2:30 we all went to bed. I in the bed with mother, Caren and Mel in the guest room. Brad, Annette and Cathy on air mattresses on the floor.

On Sunday, Daddy seemed a little better. He told Brad to get Annette and when she came into the room he said "you're pretty", then he said "take care of my boy". When each child and grandchild told Daddy they loved him, he was able to say "I love you too". I said "thank you for loving me" and he said "thank you for loving me too.
Danette, Steve and Talon came on Sunday afternoon and spent some time as well. Anne thought it best if we didn't engage Daddy anymore, that it would be easier not to stimulate him and then perhaps he would "go home". In the early evening everyone left except Cathy and I. Daddy continued to sleep but his breathing was labored so hospice gave us permission to up his morphine. We went to bed about 11:00. I put an air matress in the floor in Mother and Daddy's room to be close by. Daddy's breathing was even more labored and he was moaning so we gave him 3 doses of morphine every hour. At 3:15 I gave him so haladol as he was very agitated. At 3:45I called hospice because nothing was working and he was still having alot of difficulty and started shivering and not being able to stay still. They told me to give him another dose of morphine and they would send a nurse. I woke Cathy up, as I just sensed (maybe more so hoped) that his end was near.

It was breaking all of our hearts to see Daddy so uncomfortable and having to fight so hard during his end. I didn't know what else to do, we had prayed over and over again for God to give him comfort and peace, so I just felt like he was under a Satanic attack and I demanded Satan to get out of the room, and called on the name of Jesus. Within about 10 minutes Daddy was more calm and his breathing was less labored and then the hospice nurse arrived. She took his vitals, his blood pressure was 60/40 and his pulse was 110. She told us the end was near. Mother held him even closer than she had been (she had not left his side for the past 48 hours and had laid right next to him most of that time). At 5:35 a.m, Daddy took his last breath, but not before telling my mother he loved her. What a gift.

Mother wanted some time with him, so we gave it to her. I called Steve and he came over. We waited till later to call the other family members. Caren arrived before they removed Daddy's body. Brent and Brad did not want to see him. The hospice nurse asked Mother to leave the room for just a few minutes. She removed Daddy's catheter, cleaned him up, combed his hair, covered him with a blanket, opened the windows for fresh air and sprayed something sweet smelling in the room. When we walked back in Daddy just looked so peaceful. Mother then cleaned him some more, shaved him, and put some pajamas on him. About 9:00 a.m. they came to take Daddy's body. Mother and I went into the 2nd bedroom so we would not see him removed.

Steve noted that it was 9:27 a.m. when he left the house....the date was 9/27....and Hebrews 9:27 says "man is destined to die once, and after that to face judgment."

Brent and Brad arrived about 10:30 and 11:30. It was just us children and mother and we sat around and shared memories and consoled one another. It was a beautiful end to a very difficult day. I wish I understood why my dad had to suffer so at the end, it was just so hard to see. I am hoping God will show us the bigger picture someday. Right now....I am just glad he is home and not having to suffer any longer.

I am sure I will be posting more about all of this in the days to come. It just helps to write it all down to process it. Hopefully, future posts will have a more positive spirit to them.

Life Is Hard

2010-09-21T23:13:00.002-06:00

There is just no way around it...sometimes life is hard. This has been a hard week. 6 days ago my father had a major stroke and has been left without the ability to talk and the use of his right hand. Depending on the day he cannot stand for any length of time. It has been so hard watching him desperately trying to say what he wants to say but not being able to get it out and then he crys. It is just so heartbreaking watching him and knowing that all he really wants is to go "home". He has wanted to go "home" for almost 4 years now. But when we moved here to Colorado Springs, there was some new light in his eyes and he was even pushing himself to get out of the house more. God gave us that hope and we are left with that memory. But now those sweet memories are being replaced by memories of suffering.

Yes, my dad's suffering is heartbreaking, but he is sleeping a lot and not always aware of what is going on. My heart is also breaking for my mom. She has lost her best friend. Yes, he is still here, but they cannot sit and talk to each other for hours like they used to. They can't laugh at something on the television. They can't go out to eat, or out at all for that matter. My heart broke today as I watched her comfort him and give him a hug as he patted her arm. There are no more kisses between them. I know that every couple goes through this if they live long enough, but it doesn't make it any easier.

Then if all of this wasn't enough, my mother's modem died and her toilet broke. I just wanted to shout "are you kidding me?". I know that none of this is from God, it is all from Satan. His purpose is to get us to doubt God, to think He doesn't care. While I recognize that, it is still hard. I do want to shout "where are you God?" I beg for Him to have mercy and let my father come home. It just seems to be falling on deaf ears. I know His timing is not mine and I am not in control, He is.
But I am really having a hard time understanding why He isn't keeping His promises.

"If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer."-Matthew 21:22
"Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete." John 16:24
"Receive from him anything we ask, because we obey his commands and do what pleases him." 1 John 3:22
"You do not have, because you do not ask God." James 4:2

It is hard not to ask "why"? I have put as the title of this blog "looking for God to keep His Ephesians 3:20 promise". I don't know how He will do exceedingly more here since we have felt His silence for 6 days now, but He is God and I am not and I have no other choice but to trust. Once again God, I plead with you to let my father come into your presence and please have mercy on him and end his suffering.
In Jesus Name.

Crystal Memories

2010-09-14T23:16:00.005-06:00

I got word through her sister's post on Facebook today that Crystal Schuknecht passed away today at the young age of 31. Crystal was one of my foster daughters when she was 8 for about 3 years. Before that I had been her social worker. She and her sister Susan lived at Hillview Acres and then lived with me at a small group home. Let me talk about that, before I talk about the girls. There came a point in my time at Hillview Acres that I wanted to provide a more normal environment for a group of girls. Normal meaning they lived in the community and went to school and could have friends over, etc. When I approached the director about my dreams he told me they sounded good, but unfortunately there was no financing for such a plan.
Within a week I received a check in the mail for a settlement on an accident that I had no idea I was going to get. It was a very nice sum and I went back and asked the director if I used my own money to get the house started, could I use Hillview Acres for the licensing process. He agreed. I found a nice two story house and filled it with appropriate furniture, only for it not to pass the fire inspection. I would have to have fire doors on the stairway and since it was a rental the owner would not agree to that. I was devastated. I couldn't understand why God would have provided in such a great way and then closed the door. I remember someone telling me "when God closes a door, he opens a window". Within a few days I was able to find another house and it was better than the house I had. First of all it was one story and on a 1/2 acre of land with a swimming pool. It had an orange tree and an avocado tree in the back yard. My grandmother was sweet and bought the girls a trampoline. It was just the perfect house! One of my early lessons on trusting God to do Ephesians 3:20 things.

Crystal, Susan, Tawnya and Michelena all moved in (8,9,9,10)We had so many happy times together. They were such a joy. Of course we also had moments that were not as joyful, as any family does, but we had lots of laughs and fun. We celebrated holidays in big style. We had a blast decorating for Christmas. We would paint our front room windows like stained glass. We got to travel, to my parents in Idaho and one time all the way to Denver for a family reunion. I remember we would stay at Circus Circus because it was so cheap and fun.

Crystal was the peacemaker among all the girls. She was full of joy and laughter. I can still see her dimples. All the girls embraced going to church and one of memories of Crystal was in a play we put on at church. We sang "Arky, Arky" and I can still see her up on the block with her umbrella yelling "made it out of gopher barky, barky". Her older sister Susan was her protector.

When Steve and I got married, I had to make a hard decision and move from California and leave the girls. Michelena had been adopted before I left. Shortly after I left, Susan and Crystal were returned to live with their parents. Tawnya went into foster care.

About 8 months ago, Crystal and I reconnected on Facebook, as well as Susan. They were no longer little girls, but grown women. I haven't learned alot about what has happened in the 21 years since I saw them last, but did know that a couple of years ago that Crystal was hit by a car as a pedestrian and had gone through a very long rehab period with numerous surgeries. Unfortunately, she had not received much relief from severe back pain and had to find the courage to fight through every day. In the last month, her posts on Facebook made it obvious she was really struggling and friends were encouraging her to keep her fighting spirit. I am thankful I could speak some truth of God's care for her during her final days. On August 20th, I had tried to encourage her with Isaiah 40:1-3.

Please pray for her sister Susan. She and Crystal were so close and Susan will be missing her dearly. I don't know what either of their relationship is with the Lord, but I pray that the seeds that were planted had taken root and that especially now Susan will know God's comfort and have the hope of heavenly reunions.

In The Name of Christianity

2010-09-07T20:46:00.007-06:00

There are times that it is just embarrassing to claim you are a Christian, especially when others do something really stupid in the name of Christianity. The latest news out of Gainesville, Florida where the Dove World Outreach Center is calling for a "International Burn the Quran Day" on September 11th, is one of those moments. You can read more about it at:
http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5hKWWJdTrfALpbYfWB6fM58p6u-pwD9I3ALN81 (you'll have to cut and paste, I couldn't get the link to work)

This is wrong on so many levels. How can a church do something so wrong?? How can they do something so counter to what Jesus would do?? Remember the WWJD campaign?? "What Would Jesus Do". Perhaps we need to start a new "WWJND"(What Would Jesus Not Do") campaign. I am pretty sure burning the Quran would be on the list.

I understand the evil that was done on 9-11 and the evil that continues to be done by extremist Muslims. I also understand the concern we all need to have in regards to the advancement of the Muslim religion. However, retaliation is never a Christ- like response. Even though this is not taking lives, it is being flagrantly disrespectful and will elicit not only anger, but flame the Muslim thinking of Christians being infidels. How would this be any different than burning the Catholic Bible, the Book of Mormon, Kabbalah, etc.? But all this aside, the question still remains "What Would Jesus Do"?

I can think of a few teachings that would indicate why this action is not what Jesus would do.

1. Matthew 5:42-44 "You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor[a] and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you"

Pray for those who persecute you, not burn their bibles.

2. Matthew 7:12 "So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you."

Would we want Muslims to have a mass burning of our Bible?

3. Matthew 5:9 "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God."

Is having a mass burning of another religion's bible a peaceful act??

4. Matthew 5:39 "But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also."

These are just a few. I am sure we can all think of many more. I think the problem is when we think it is our job to get vengeance and we forget that it is not our business. "Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: 'It is mine to avenge; I will repay,' says the Lord." All God calls us to do is "love our neighbor as ourselves." It is not an easy task, but He gives us the strength to do just that. As His Church we are His representative and He says in John 13:35 "By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

So we all have 3 days to pray, pray, pray that the Lord will convict the heart of pastor Terry Jones and any others who have made this plan to burn the Qurans and that they instead will step up and ask forgiveness for this thought and really show the world the love of Christ through their actions. Pastor Terry Jones says "We just want to send a strong message to radical Islam" I pray that they will see that by repenting of this act will be an amazing message and that if He does cancel his plans it would bring glory to God and His kingdom will be advanced in ways beyond all they could ask or imagine.

That Time Again

2010-09-05T19:34:00.004-06:00

It is just not believable that we have been here in Colorado Springs 4 months already! I don't know where the time has gone! One thing that I have let slip, and I am not proud about, is my Bible study time. I have spent very little time this summer in the Word. I am not really sure why that is, other than I got out of the habit and just did not make it a priority.

But this week I will get back into a woman's Bible study and I am looking forward to once again doing Beth Moore's study, Stepping Up. I really enjoyed it the first time I did it a couple of years ago, and am sure I will even enjoy it more this time. I am also going to do a community Bible study, BSF, this year on the book of Isaiah. Both of these studies will require daily time in the Word and there will be good accountability, so I will get back into my study habits.

I do think there is a direct coorelation between my lack of Bible study and my low spirits of late. I think it is hard to stay centered on God and His purposes for my life without being diligent to spend time with Him in His Word. Satan robs my joy when I am not centered in God's Word. So I am looking forward to reclaiming that joy. And a by product of this is that I will have some things to share here on my blog about what God is teaching me again. I love documenting the lessons learned, so that I can go back and read them, because I tend to forget way too easily. So I am looking forward to the days ahead.

God Does It Again

2010-08-22T21:36:00.004-06:00

Those of you that know me very well, know that often times God speaks to me through song. Today was another instance, except that the message didn't just come once, but several times. First when I was dressing this morning I had the T.V. on to the Contemporary Christian station. A song came on that I had not heard before.
"Before The Morning" by Josh Wilson, the words just spoke to my heart.

Do you wonder why you have to,
feel the things that hurt you,
if there's a God who loves you,
where is He now?

Maybe, there are things you can't see
and all those things are happening
to bring a better ending
some day, some how, you'll see, you'll see

Chorus:
Would dare you, would you dare, to believe,
that you still have a reason to sing,
'cause the pain you've been feeling,
can't compare to the joy that's coming

so hold on, you got to wait for the light
press on, just fight the good fight
because the pain you've been feeling,
it's just the dark before the morning

My friend, you know how this all ends
and you know where you're going,
you just don't know how you get there
so just say a prayer.
and hold on, cause there's good who love God,
life is not a snapshot, it might take a little time,
but you'll see the bigger picture

Would dare you, would you dare, to believe,
that you still have a reason to sing,
'cause the pain you've been feeling,
can't compare to the joy that's coming

so hold on, you got to wait for the light
press on, just fight the good fight
because the pain you've been feeling,
it's just the dark before the morning

Once you feel the way of glory,
all your pain will fade to memory
once you feel the way of glory,
all your pain will fade to memory

Would dare you, would you dare, to believe,
that you still have a reason to sing,
'cause the pain you've been feeling,
can't compare to the joy that's coming

I loved the line "cause the pain you've been feeling, can't compare to the joy that's coming".

So then in worship this morning the sermon was about Moses and how God proved to him in several different ways how He was there for him. Whatever excuse Moses had, God showed him His power and provision. God is "I AM" because He is always enough. But then came the crowning moment in the morning for me. We sang "You Never Let Go" by Matt Redman.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I'm caught in the middle of the storms of this life
I won't turn back
I know you are near

And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?

(Chorus:)
Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me

And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
We'll live to know You here on the earth

(Chorus)

Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You

All I could do was cry. It was a Zephaniah 3:17 moment, and I cried because God was singing over me. It was no longer "you will never let go" but "I will never let go". And the promise "and there will be an end to these troubles". I am counting on it!!

BUT.....that is not the end of the story!! Yes, this is a long post, but stay with me. This afternoon I was reading the chapter in Chuck Swindoll's book "The Man of Passion and Destiny: David" that we would be looking at in life group tonight. Steve and I had just got the book this week. After reading tonight's chapter, I decided to read last week's chapter entitled "A Song of Triumph". >In talking about David's life Chuck Swindoll says "David sums up his life in four themes, four expressions that weave their way through this psalm of praise (2 Samuel 22)
1. When times are tough,God is our only security. (22:2-3, 7)
22:20 "He rescued me, because He delighted in me"
2. When our days are dark, God is our only light. (22:29)
Swindoll gives a great example of the process of floundering and then he says 'The same is true of the light we receive from God. At times we flounder along trying to peer too far into the darkness ahead. Yet He gives us just enough light so that we can see to take the next step. That's all He gives, and in reality, that's all we need.'
3. When our walk is weak, God is our only strength. (22:33-36)
4. When our future is foggy or fuzzy, God is our only hope." (22:51)

So thank you God for doing it again. I am sorry You have to hit me in the head with a frying pan for me to get it, but there was no doubt that today you were sending me a message that I will not forget and today I say like David:
"The LORD lives! Praise be to my Rock!
Exalted be God, the Rock, my Savior!"

Happy 34th Spiritual Birthday Steve!

2010-08-15T16:49:00.002-06:00

Some of you may know and others not, that Steve and I did not get married until we were 36. The first marriage for both of us. It was so important to me to find a man who loved God and would be the spiritual leader in our home. I had seen first hand what happens when the wife is the spiritual leader and the husband either isn't or isn't even a believer. I prayed that God would send me a partner that would help me in the journey to heaven. As the title of my blog indicates, I live in anticipation of Ephesians 3:20 moments in my life. Marrying Steve is one of God's Ephesians 3:20 works in my life. He blessed me with a husband beyond all that I could ask or imagine! You see, I am not the easiest wife to live with. I hate to confess, but must, I have a sharp tongue and often speak without thinking but over, and over and over again Steve forgives me. Unconditionally forgives me. I am so thankful for that! He would not be able to do that if he had not been transformed into the image of my Savior. He loves Him so, and is a dedicated student of His Word. For the 21 years we have been married he has read the Bible cover to cover (don't know how many years he was doing it before that). In fact he is somewhat bummed because of all the chaos of a big move and getting settled in a new place he is behind his usual pace. But Steve doesn't just read to make a check mark that it is done. He applies the word to his heart and therefore is one of the godliest men I know. He would hate that I am even writing this because of his humility. So just let me say, I am so very thankful for this day in His life when He gave his heart to His Lord, because without it, I would not have the loving, faithful, committed husband that I have. There is no greater joy than having the confidence that your husband is going to lead you straight to the heart of Jesus and that the two of you will share eternity together. For that I am eternally grateful for my Ephesians 3:20God!!

Happy Birthday Mama!

2010-08-14T22:32:00.003-06:00

My mother's birthday is Wednesday, but with my sister living in Denver we celebrated a few days early, because Caren is off on Fridays. We surprised mother by taking her to the Miramont Castle in Manitou Springs. It was built in 1895 and in 1976 was restored. They have a really cute tea room where they serve 2:00 p.m. High Tea.
We had a delicious 5 course fare, beginning with Vitality Tea, and then baked homemade scones with Devonshire cream, preserves, and infused butters. Then an assortment of fresh vegetables,a fruit flute, Victorian sandwiches with four homemade spreads, and, of course, a variety of delicious desserts. It was a delicious lunch!

It had been a long time since I had been to a tea room. It is just such a fun girly thing to do. They gave us hats to wear to make it a more authentic experience.

Then the weekend ended with sweet friends from Texas coming to visit. It was such a beautiful day that we had lunch out on the patio. Great weather, good food and sweet friends, doesn't get any better than that.

Celebrating 21 Years!

2010-08-12T00:28:00.004-06:00

Today is Steve and mine's 21st anniversary! Where in the world has the time gone? It seems like such a short time ago we were saying our vows. In honor of this day I will give you 21 reasons that I love this man! God knew how much I would need unconditional love and blessed me with the best husband in the world.

1. He loves me unconditionally
2. He graciously showers forgiveness on me
3. He loves my God
4. He loves God's Word
5. He looks like my Jesus
6. He takes care of my parents
7. He always looks out for my needs
8. He let us move to Colorado
9. He let me get the house I wanted
10. He provides safety and security
11. He is a fun competitor in Wheel of Fortune
12. He is punny
13. He likes to snuggle
14. He does our laundry
15. He is a loyal friend
16. He has a great laugh
17. He is a loyal friend
18. He has sweet kisses
19. His love is faithful
20. He is the very best caretaker
21. Because he will thank me for these 21 reasons, just like he thanks me for everything I do for him.

I love you Steve and I am so very thankful that the Lord blessed me with such an amazing husband. I am so very thankful that I have no doubt whatsoever that we will spend eternity together with the God that we love.

Faith of a Child

2010-08-06T22:31:00.002-06:00

Last Sunday, Jim Mackenzie, at Eastside church of Christ, told the story of this seven year old young boy who wrote a psalm. I was so touched, because I am pretty sure at 57, I could not come close to writing such. Makes you wonder where a child that young gets this kind of spiritual depth?

"This is a prayer from a seven year old boy named William Fariss living in West Africa. He had just watched his home burn to the ground and his mother overheard him praying."

William's Psalm

Through the wind and rain
Through fire and lava
The Lord will never leave you.
Through earthquakes and floods
Through changing sea levels and burning ash
The Lord will never leave you.
If you love Him, He will bless you
and He will give you many things.

Who can stop the Lord?
Who can chase a cheetah across the plains of Africa?
The Lord, He can.
Who can stand on Mount Everest?
Who can face a rhinoceros?
The Lord.
The Lord can give you sheep and goats and
cows and ducks and chickens and dogs and cats.
The Lord can give you anything He wants to.

Who can stop the Lord?
Who can face an elephant?
Who is brave enough to face a lion?
The Lord.
Who's as fast as a horse?
Who can catch a blue whale?
Who is brave enough to face a giant squid?
The Lord.
Just as Jesus died on the cross,
so the Lord has done so.
The Lord will never leave His people.
The Bible is His word.
The Lord is a good leader.

The Lord who loves you.
And He will not forsake His people.
The end.

The Blessing of Friends

2010-08-03T20:05:00.003-06:00

Is there anything better than a great friend? I have been blessed with many throughout the years. I don't want to try to list them for fear of leaving someone out, but I just wanted to say my favorite thing about great friendships is that it doesn't matter how long you have to be apart, when you get back together, it just feels like you have never been apart....you just take up where you left off. We met two of our friends Karla and Randy Gerdes today halfway between Colorado Springs and Breckenridge....which was a little town called Marcel, population...less than 500, but it did have the Hob Cafe and Saloon. On the internet they advertised great buffalo burgers. Well today they were out of buffalo, then later we wanted to order a shake and they were out of milk??? They had sent someone into Denver to get some??? Nevertheless, we had 3 hours of great conversation. What Randy and Karla bring to our relationship that is also priceless in a friendship is prayer coverage. We did not part today without having a time of prayer together in the car. It is the best gift any friend can give you is to have your back in prayer. We had that today, but I have also had it with many other friends and it is what I most treasure!! I am thankful for all the friends that God has placed in my path, knowing not one of them was an accident, but I am especially thankful for the friends that make me want to be a better person because of who I see in them and that would be my Lord. I can only pray that God will use me in the same way and I will allow Him to be seen in me.

Birthday Presents

2010-07-27T22:34:00.005-06:00

My mom, my sister, and my aunt (I call Nanny) gave me an Australian pine for my back yard. I can't wait to watch it grow up. Thanks to Steve for doing all the planting and watering.

Steve got me new dishes for my birthday. I wanted something more neutral that I can dress up or down with napkins, placemats and/or tablecloths. I look forward to entertaining with my new dishes. First up will be breakfast for my Nanny and my mom's brother, Uncle George, who will be coming to breakfast on Thursday.

57 And Counting

2010-07-26T22:45:00.003-06:00

Today was my 57th birthday. How can that be? I am three years away from being 60!! Just doesn't seem possible. I was blessed that this celebration was several days long :-) My previous post tells how my friends from Texas came to surprise me for my birthday. We had a fun three days together. Friday we took the Cog train up to Pikes Peak and Saturday we had a picnic at Garden of the Gods. Then yesterday Steve took me out to breakfast and we went to see Inception (a really good movie). Usually when others rave about a movie I am disappointed, but not this time. Inception was just as good as everyone said it was. Then last night my parents took me out to eat to Edelweiss for German food. It was very good! I had a combination platter so I could have a little of snitzel, saurbraten and chicken cordon bleu(which I have to admit I didn't know was German). To top it off they gave me a complimentary piece of chocolate birthday cake that was ever bit as my favorite at the Cheesecake Factory. Looking forward to a great year to follow this great day!

Sweet Friends

2010-07-23T00:12:00.006-06:00

So today Steve told me we were going to Wendy's for lunch on our a way to a movie. I thought it was a little strange, just because Wendy's isn't one of our usual eateries. Before we moved to Colorado I would eat at Wendy's every Wednesday night after Bible Class with a group of friends called the "Supper Club". We had not eaten at Wendy's since moving to Colorado Springs. Steve had been a little cryptic about the plans and had indicated we would be doing something tomorrow and Saturday as well. It wasn't until we were walking into Wendy's I had this suspicion "I wonder if someone is here?" But in my wildest dreams I did not think it would be four sweet friends!!! Half of the supper club: Deb, Piper, Linda and Tresia! They had driven all the way from Richardson (left Amarillo this morning) to come surprise me for my birthday which is Monday. I was so touched!! They took me to dinner tonight at the Flying W Ranch (a chuckwagon dinner and Western show) It was so much fun! Tomorrow we are taking a ride on the Pikes Peak Cog Train and going to the Garden of the Gods. Hopefully I can post some more pictures then.

Why Have We Forgotten?

2010-07-20T14:54:00.004-06:00

It is amazing to me how much we have forgotten what the founders of this country believed and their hopes and dreams for the future of America. Just read a few of these quotes and you will have to agree we have strayed afar from what they had hoped for.

'An appeal to arms and the God of hosts is all that is left us. But we shall not fight our battle alone. There is a just God that presides over the destinies of nations. The battle sir, is not of the strong alone. Is life so dear or peace so sweet as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it almighty God. I know not what course others may take, but as for me, give me liberty, or give me death.' -Patrick Henry

'It cannot be emphasized too strongly or too often that this great nation was founded not by religionists, but by Christians; not on religion, but on the Gospel of Jesus Christ. For that reason alone, people of other faiths have been afforded freedom of worship here.'-Patrick Henry

'I am a Christian, that is to say a disciple of the doctrines of Jesus. I have little doubt that our whole country will soon be rallied to the unity of our Creator and, I hope, to the pure doctrine of Jesus, also.'-Thomas Jefferson

'It is impossible to govern the world without God and the Bible. Of all the dispositions and habits that lead to political prosperity, our religion and morality are the indispensable supporters. Let us with caution indulge the supposition that morality can be maintained without religion. Reason and experience both forbid us to expect that our national morality can prevail in exclusion of religious principle.'-George Washington

'We have no government armed with the power capable of contending with human passions, unbridled by morality and true religion. Our constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other.'-John Adams

'The highest glory of the American Revolution was this: it connected in one indissoluble bond the principles of civil government with the principles of Christianity.'-John Quincy Adams

'The foundations of our society and our government rest so much on the teachings of the Bible that it would be difficult to support them if faith in these teachings would cease to be practically universal in our country.' -Calvin Coolidge

In 1782, the United States Congress voted this resolution: 'The congress of the United States recommends and approves the Holy Bible for use in all schools.'

So we ask "what happened?". It all began in 1947 when the Supreme Court banned this prayer from their assembly 'Almighty God, we acknowledge our dependence on Thee. We beg Thy blessings upon us and our parents and our teachers and our country. Amen.'

Now that Elena Kagan has been approved as the new Supreme Court justice we will all need to be more fervant in prayer than ever before, because it is only going to be worse for those of us who bear the name Christian.

Health Insurance

2010-07-17T19:47:00.004-06:00

One of the things I didn't really consider in a move was changing doctors. Since we really don't know people in Colorado Springs, there aren't many recommendations so we just have to look at the yellow pages and pick doctors who are convenient to the house. That in itself is a task, but add onto that mix all the health insurance hubaloo and it is a nightmare.

It has been the biggest blessing that my car accident and subsequent injuries were covered by workman's compensation. Steve and I would probably be homeless by now with all the couple of million my medical care has been. Before considering leaving Texas, I asked my adjuster if there would be any problems with getting workman's comp when I moved and the reply was "no problem you will just need to find a doctor who accepts workman's comp". She should have said "you might want to call and see what they say before you make the move". Because guess what?? There is not a single orthopedist in Colorado Springs that will accept out of state workman's compensation!! I have called them all!!! So then I called back and said "can I talk to someone who might have the power to make an exception". I found one doctor who said if I get my records sent and they get it in writing the insurance company will pay Colorado rates that he will consider it. So I am waiting for an answer.

The crazy thing is I am caught between a rock and a hard place, because if I can't find a doctor, they are telling me I will just have to go back to Texas! Are you kidding me?? I can't go to the doctor and just put it on my regular health insurance because it was a workman's comp accident. Now just a few months ago I became eligible for disability and little did I know that meant I would qualify for Medicare, until I got the card in the mail. Since our health insurance premium for me is $650 a month, we thought that would be a blessing. Well guess what?? Neither will Medicare cover anything to do with my leg because it is a workman's comp injury. So I called and asked what if I just close my workman's comp case? I was told it was illegal????? They are legally responsible for paying for my leg the rest of my life. Well that does a lot of good if I can't find a doctor to accept the insurance.

I have spent hours on the phone the past two weeks dealing with all of this and it is just so frustrating. Then on top of that who knew being put on Medicare would not be a blessing??? Doctor's are all running "gun shy" of accepting it because the government is threatening to reduce the amounts they get reimbursed. Naive me had no idea a doctor had the freedom to chose whether they accepted Medicare or not? Perhaps if you didn't have supplemental insurance this would make sense to me, because they may or may not get paid when Medicare doesn't pay the total bill. But when you have supplemental insurance it pays what Medicare doesn't so what is the risk to the doctor??

So I had to get a Colorado doctor to sign my paperwork to get a handicap license plate. It just seemed easiest to go under my present insurance which we haven't canceled yet. Little did I know that since I was eligible for Medicare in June, I couldn't go to the doctor in June and have it charged to United Health Care, even though we haven't canceled it yet because we haven't received final confirmation that we have been accepted by the supplemental company. It has been another few hours of calls to get all straight, but the kicker??? They charged $235.00 for a visit for a doctor to fill out a form??? Yes they did take my blood pressure, but a ten minute interview is $235.00!!!!!!! Crazy! There obviously needs to be something done. But unfortunately I have seen nothing that indicates Obama's plan is going to make it better. And if I had any doubt before what is this bill that the Congress is putting in place that will make them except from the plan we are all forced to accept??

No....unfortunately, I am afraid there are still more frustrating times ahead. It definitely is an exercise in patience.

Presbyterian Church Vote

2010-07-09T14:47:00.003-06:00

Yesterday the Presbyterian Church U.S.A. voted to allow non celibate homosexuals to be clergy? I just find this to be so wrong on so many levels. It won by a 53% majority. Their next step today is to decide whether they will change their definition of marriage from "a man and a woman" to between "two people."

Wow that is even scary. That means that and adult and a child could marry and it would be between "two people" and why just two, why not three or four people, or why not brother-sister, father-daughter, aunt-nephew, etc? Of course right now most states don't allow any of those scenarios to happen. And while at the moment most states don't allow homosexuals to marry, it is coming and is a major agenda item for the Obama administration.

We can't be surprised when the world acts like the world, but when the church acts like the world???? Why would Presbyterians think that homosexuals could be clergy?
Would they let an adulterer, or fornicator, or child molester be clergy?? Why would they not just say celibate homosexuals can be clergy?? The article I read also said the Evangelical Luthern, the U.S. Episcopal church and the United Church of Christ have also made the ruling to let non celibate homosexuals be clergy as long as they are in committed relationships.

The whole homosexual propaganda is just so wrong. They want us to just accept that it is an alternative lifestyle. But all the things I listed above could also be a lifestyle. One difference is a child molester is harming another individual. Unless you are talking about a minor who actually consents and then it would also fall into the "lifestyle" category. No one condones any of those acts and yet more and more we are just letting the homosexuals push their lifestyle into being accepted as normal. And why am I labeled a "homophobe" if I speak out against homosexuality? What do you call me for speaking out against adultery?

I know the homosexuals sin is no worse than my own sin and they are entitled to the same free gift of grace that I am. But just like I can't keep sinning so that grace abounds (Romans 6:1) the homosexual must take a vow of chastity in order to not be sinning.
I am not sure what the answer is besides praying? And just speaking truth whenever we can. Once again while I have my opinions I know I am not the final judge.

I have had way too many serious posts as of late. I will have to post something much more uplifting soon!!!

Church Looking Followup

2010-07-06T20:38:00.004-06:00

So tonight I got two calls from people from two different churches. Here is how the conversations went:

First:
Caller: "Is this Lynn Leaming?"
Me: It is
Caller: "This is (she may have said her name, I missed it)from.......church. I wanted to thank you for your visit on Sunday."
Me: Thank you
Caller:"I was just going to send you a card but I couldn't tell for sure what your address was, so I thought I would just call and ask"
Me: gave her my address
Caller:"Well I hope we will see you again sometime"
Me: Thanks for calling

Second Call:
Caller: "Hi Lynn, this is................, I was calling to see if you and Steve had a good
4th."
Me: I told him all about Steve's sinus problems, and the hail, etc. How about you?
Caller:"We had rain and hail as well but stuck it out at the Air Academy and it was a good show" I wanted to let you know that our small group will be meeting right after services on Sunday. We will be in the conference room that is right off the auditorium.
Me: "I don't think we will be at.......this Sunday as we are going to go to......for our second time, but thanks so much for letting us know."
Caller: "Our philosophy at.......is that we want each person to find the place where they can serve God the most and while we would like that to be.......we want you to do what you feel God is calling you to do."
Me: I appreciate that, it has been an interesting journey so far, other than (his church) we haven't found anyone to be very friendly and you have called us twice so we really appreciate it. To be honest..........is more my worship style, but we have just not felt a strong leading yet.
Caller: "you do know about our Newcomer's class right?"
Me: No, not really, does it happen once a quarter or something?
Caller: "no, it is a two week class, but it happens every week and just repeats" and then he went on to tell me all that is covered in the class.
Me: I will be sure and tell Steve and we will go the next time we visit, you don't have to be a member to attend do you?
Caller: "no, it is designed exactly for people like you. How are your parents?
Me: I tell him how they are and a little bit more history about them.
Caller: "I hope that we will see you again soon"
Me: We will definitely be back.

Now I ask you which church would you revisit??

Church Looking

2010-07-05T19:41:00.002-06:00

Wow! I had no idea how hard it would be looking for a new church home. We have visited six different churches and on our second round with three down. I would consider me an outgoing person, but so far every church we have been to has been an uncomfortable experience. I keep looking people in the eyes hoping they will introduce themselves to me. Very few have and those that have have mostly been in their 70's or older. Yesterday, three men spoke to me (Steve was home sick) and not one woman??? There was a man talking to me and telling me he knew someone who moved to Texas and thought it was a town near Dallas but couldn't remember the name, to which the woman in front of us turned and said "Lone Tree" and yet not once after that man left did she turn around and introduce herself??? Are you kidding me??? What is that about???

We thought at first it was because we were just showing up for worship and not Bible class. The past two weeks we have also gone to Bible class, which for both churches was an all age class in the auditorium. So there we are after class sitting in the seat for 10-15 minutes waiting for worship to start and still no one speaks?? Yesterday 2 men shook my hand and walked by.

BUT the bigger deal for me is that EVERY time we have visited we have filled out "visitor cards" and marked that we are looking for a church home and we have received one call?? No visits, no calls to do lunch or dinner, basically no interest whether we would be valuable members or not??? It has been so interesting being on the outside looking in. Hopefully God is teaching us very valuable lessons and I won't forget how this feels and determine that I will make sure other's don't feel this in the future.

Perhaps part of it is because we have promoted the belief that visitors want to be anonymous and perhaps for the majority of people that is true. Maybe we should have stickers for visitors to wear that tell us whether they want to be approached or not?
When we used to visit Highland Oaks there was a lady who wore flashing jewelry. Perhaps I need a flashing sign that says "yes I want you to talk to me".

I know that God knows where He wants us and where He will use us and perhaps we just haven't found that place yet. Steve and I have been praying about it and we just have not felt any strong leading one way or the other. So we don't know what that means and are asking ourselves does that mean we are suppose to look outside the church of Christ? And if so where? It causes you to start evaluating what things are important to you in a church.

Obviously from what I have already said friendliness is important to me, but there are really some Biblical teachings that I just can't compromise on. The most important is that the church believes that baptism by immersion is a necessary teaching and that it is baptism for the remission of sins. It is interesting how many websites I have read where they state that baptism is an outward sign of an inner acceptance of Christ. Several go on to say it is not baptism that saves us. What do they do with I Peter 3:21 "and this water symbolizes baptism that now saves you also—not the removal of dirt from the body but the pledge of a good conscience toward God. It saves you by the resurrection of Jesus Christ."? Yes, it is true that it is Jesus that saves not baptism, but you cannot become one with Jesus without baptism.

Communion is also important to me. When I have visited churches who don't observe it weekly, I have missed it. It is not something I do by rote, it is part of my worship celebration. I don't think it would be the same if I only took it once a month and I know I could not only do it quarterly.

I don't think God would have spent time in multiple places in His Word talking about elders and deacons if they were not an important part of a church. Then there is instrumental music. I personally don't think it is a salvation issue, but neither do I enjoy "rocking out" in worship. When the music is louder than the words of worshipers, it is no longer worshipful for me. Guess the final thing for me is that women are not in prominent roles. There maybe some special circumstance for a woman to lead prayer, sing a solo, give a testimony, read a scripture, but I personally don't think that women should be more in leadership than the men. I feel that God gave that role to men and we should be supportive.

So the look continues. Hopefully, once God has confirmed the decision for us I will be able to blog again and it will have turned out to be a much better journey than it has been so far. I am looking forward to seeing what God has in store for us. I look at where He has brought me from and there has never been a church that wasn't family, so I know He will do it again.

Prayer

2010-06-29T22:53:00.002-06:00

Today I was still unpacking things in the garage and the only station I could get to come through was country western. I don't listen to much country. I heard this song by Jason The Long Road To Love, that I assume is suppose to be funny, but I found it really sad. I thought the first verse was so sweet and said "ahh" and then came the rest. Guess I was surprised that it would be such a mockery of church and prayer. Don't know where I have been but this song made it to the top 20 in 2009?? Guess it makes me glad I don't listen to secular music much and VERY thankful that this is not the kind of prayer warriors I have praying for me.

"I haven't been to church since I don’t remember when
Things were goin’ great ‘til they fell apart again
So I listened to the preacher as he told me what to do
He said you can’t go hatin’ others who have done wrong to you
Sometimes we get angry, but we must not condemn
Let the good Lord do His job and you just pray for them

I pray your brakes go out runnin’ down a hill
I pray a flowerpot falls from a window sill and knocks you in the head like I’d like to
I pray your birthday comes and nobody calls
I pray you’re flyin’ high when your engine stalls
I pray all your dreams never come true
Just know where ever you are honey, I pray for you

I’m really glad I found my way to church
‘Cause I’m already feelin’ better and I thank God for the words
Yeah I’m goin’to take the high road
And do what the preacher told me to do
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com
You keep messin’ up and I’ll keep prayin’ for you

I pray your tire blows out at 110
I pray you pass out drunk with your best friend and wake up with his and her tattoos
I pray your brakes go out runnin’ down a hill
I pray a flowerpot falls from a window sill and knocks you in the head like I’d like to
I pray your birthday comes and nobody calls
I pray you’re flyin’ high when your engine stalls
I pray all your dreams never come true
Just know wherever you are, near or far, in your house or in your car,
wherever you are honey, I pray for you."

Church Excellence

2010-06-27T12:36:00.000-06:00

I have been spending a lot of time looking at church websites. We have visited all of the churches of Christ in Colorado Springs and I was interested if there are any nondenominational churches we could visit that still would fit into our belief system. The most important being that they practice baptism. Yesterday I came across this statement on one churches website ""We value punctuality at Christ Church, contributing to a spirit of excellence. As such, all services and events start on time." I thought it was interesting that this would be on their homepage. I heard a speaker at a workshop years ago say that a church will only be as good as the bar that is set. This church obviously lets people know one bar anyway. Is it the most important one? Probably not, but nevertheless at least they recognize being purposeful as a sign of excellence.

I posted this on my FB page and here are some of the comments people made?
"That church is, obviously, NOT in New Mexico!"
"Have they ever been to church? No one is on time!"
"LOL, I'm sure they have the same number of late folks as everyone else"
"um...makes you wonder, do they tell everyone that events start an hour earlier than they actually do to ensure punctuality?"

Isn't it interesting that we just accept the standard of lateness when it comes to church? How many people have that attitude towards work or school? How many people show up late for a wedding? What about a sporting event or concert? If we were told we were going to have the opportunity to meet an important dignitary would we be late? And yet, week after week people think nothing of being late for worship. Would you say that is putting our best foot forward for the Lord?

I know as a Bible class teacher this used to be so frustrating. Starting your lesson and then having to catch several children up as they came in late so that they would understand what was going on. We would start out each year explaining that importance of punctuality to parents and it would start out better but get worse and worse as the year progressed. You really couldn't fault the children, they didn't have a driver's license.

In looking for churches you also find that there are several that they have labeled "anti churches": anti Bible class, anti children's homes, anti multi cup, etc. Well today the church we visited wasn't an anti church but we noticed on Sunday mornings they have about 200 in worship.....last Wednesday night?? 47. To which Steve said "they may not be anti Bible class in theology but they are in practice."

Yes, it is easy for me to be critical, the harder thing is for me to personally strive for excellence in my own life. "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." Philippians 4:8. I can't control what anyone else does, all I can do is strive for excellence in my own life. Believe me there are lots of areas I need to improve on, and yes, even being better at time management so that I am not late to Bible class or worship.

Pity Party

2010-06-24T18:34:00.003-06:00

So if you read my blog yesterday, you know it was pretty much a pity party. Well it continued today until God did what He always does with me.....gives me proof that it could be so much worse. I heard today that Joni Eareckson Tada has breast cancer and will be having surgery on the 28th. My first reaction? Good grief! Has she not had enough! And then to put fire on top of my attitude, here was her reply "Yes, it's alarming, but rest assured that Ken and I are utterly convinced that God is going to use this to stretch our faith, brighten our hope and strengthen our witness to others," said Tada.

If only I approached adversity with that kind of strength!! Thanks Joni for showing me today that I should definitely be counting my blessings! And sorry God for the pity party...I am thankful for all that You have done for me!

I Just Didn't Know

2010-06-24T00:51:00.002-06:00

Wow! Hard to believe that we have been in Colorado Springs six weeks already! There are a few things I like about being here. First would be the weather. Just today on Weatherbug it said we were 20 degrees cooler than Richardson. Most of the days we are just leaving the back and front doors open. Second would be just seeing the mountains everyday. I have always loved the mountains and just seeing them from my table when I eat and when I drive around town is nice. I like the convenience of shopping. Everything I need is ten minutes away. Although I have to admit I wish I had another choice of grocery stores and wish there was a convenient store close by for when I just need milk. But I don't have to drive on the Freeway at all for any reason but to leave town. That would leave me to another thing I really like and that is being closer to family. We have already had several opportunities to be together with family members in Denver.

I am thankful that my dad has felt better here. He still has good days and bad days, but he is so much happier here. He really likes their new condo. He has been getting out a little bit more.

But what I didn't know is how very much I would miss friends. It's not like I called and talked to friends everyday, but I could always count on seeing them several times a week, just because we would be at "church" actitivities together. There is nothing to look forward to here. Everyday is the same right now. I do know that this isn't a permanent status. Eventually we will get plugged in and make friends, but for now....it is just lonely.

Looking for a church home hasn't proved to be easy either. Of course we have only visited each one once, except for Eastside which we visited for a second time last Sunday. Wow! I had forgotten how hard it is to visit churches!! I am just waiting for someone to make eye contact and notice that we are visiting. Those people have been few and far between. Steve is much better than I am about being assertive and not waiting for the other person. I have found it interesting that we have filled out that visitor's card at each place noting that "we are looking for a church home" and yet we have only recieved one phone call and two form letters. But more than that we have been praying that we feel the Spirit's leading and know where the Lord wants us to be. So far, neither of us have felt that leading. Did I mention that patience is not my greatest virtue??

Unfortunately, I should be using this down time to just spend time with the Lord, and read and listen. But instead I am spending WAY too much time on the computer just playing endless games. I turn it off on the end of the day and amaze myself that I have been on 7-8 hours straight! That cannot be good!!

So I thought perhaps if I blogged about it, I would be motivated to be better. Because I will start blogging about what I have read each day. Not that this is for anyone else to read. Just to keep me accountable to me. Hopefully along the way I can also share some positives about meeting people and finding ways to get involved in ministering to people.

My Special Friend

2010-05-25T01:33:00.004-06:00

One of the blessings I have had for the past two years is being a Holy Butterfly special friend to Courtney Thomas. The Holy Butterflies are 3rd and 4th grade girls that meet on Wednesday nights and learn about what it means to be a woman after God's own heart. They are assigned "special friends" when they are 3rd graders. A special friend is blessed to pray for their little friend, spend time with them and just be a small part of their life. I had never been able to be a special friend while I was children's minister because it would have been showing partiality, so the first thing I wanted to do when I was retired, was to be a special friend and I asked if my special friend could be Courtney.

Little did I know that I would be blessed way more than I would bless Courtney. Courtney and I have had two years of special times together. It was fun watching her in plays and musicals or singing in her school choir. We had fun on outings together. But what made Courtney special is she loved me unconditionally. She never failed to give me a big smile and hello whenever she saw me in the hallways of the church building. She would make me cards and give me little gifts. The most special thing she did was twice she took her gift card that her grandmother had given her to Chick-fil-a and treated me to lunch. I delighted in watching her enjoy a good brownie. She loved chocolate and made sure I knew that her favorites were
Ghiradelli Chocolate Carmel Squares,which quickly became my favorite as well.

I was sad that we moved to Colorado Springs six weeks sooner than Courtney would graduate from the Holy Butterflies. I was so glad when she told me she asked Mrs. Lindsey if she would be my substitute for the month of May because I knew she would be well taken care of by one of my own spiritual giants.

So this post is dedicated to you sweet Courtney. Thank you for all the love you showered on me and for the ways I saw Jesus living in your heart. I look forward to keeping in touch with you and seeing how you continue to grow to be a great woman of God. He is going to use you in His kingdom in amazing ways. You will always have a very special place in my heart. I am most thankful that we will be friends not just in this world but in the world to come when we both get to be with our Jesus and His Father. Love you sweet girl!

Oh and a secondary blessing to being Courtney's special friend is I also got to spend time with her little brother Kyle. Kyle and I always had this special bond because I taught his Sunday Night class when he was 3 and 4 and he would always want to ride on my scooter. He gave me so many good laughs. It was hard for him to understand why he wasn't my special friend too :-) So we did try to include him some times as well.

Kyle and Courtney are blessed to have wonderful Christian parents, Eric and Kelley, who are doing a great job of planting God's Word deep in their kids hearts so that they will have strong roots to grow up with. They were also a blessing of spending time with Courtney and Kyle. They were sweet to trust me with their kiddos. I am hoping they will all come visit me next time they come skiing in Colorado!!

Looking For A Light At The End Of The Tunnel

2010-05-10T22:48:00.002-06:00

Whew! I had no memories of moving being so hard!! I am so very thankful for all the friends that helped me pack up for this move. Terri, Andrea, Kimberly, Cathy, Joyce, Karla, Sara and David thank you from the bottom of my heart! I could not have done it without you!!

Then on this end, my sister Caren, neice Danette and their husbands were such blessings in getting boxes emptied and the kitchen and bathrooms set up. Now if I just had an interior designer to help me figure out how to decorate this house.
Trying to scale down from 2100 square feet to 1400 has been interesting. Just goes to show that there is so much stuff you really don't need, and I am really wanting to simplify....unfortunately there is something called a "crawl space" that is allowing me to "store" things "just in case".

I am so very homesick and really missing the voice of friends and hugs. God has always been faithful no matter where I have moved to bless me with friends and I know he will not dissapoint me here. It will just take time.

Met three neighbors today, two couples were in there late 70's, so perhaps it will give us an opportunity to serve. The other neighbor Jaquina warned me not to put up my winter clothes :-)

Continuing to wait with anticipation to see what God is going to do with us here in the Springs.

Lessons Learned From Moving

2010-05-01T18:10:00.002-06:00

Well day one of leaving Richardson and on our way to Colorado. We are staying in Childress (not very far, but on the way). I have moved many times in my life but I don't remember it ever being this hard. I guess it is just that I am 11 years older than the last time and with my disability, standing just kills and you can't pack and clean without standing. But it did get done and now on the other end there won't be any pressure or deadlines to get things unpacked.

But I thought there were some spiritual applications that I learned from this move.
First of all "do not lay up treasures on earth"...how in the world do we get so much "stuff"?? I cannot even tell you how many trucks of "things" we took to Goodwill and Central Dallas Ministries and still we have way too many boxes!! I spent numerous hours purging through pictures and cards only to discover two more boxes of pictures and cards days later that I didn't get to look through and put together, so I will have that still to do on the other end. I am hoping I can still make more decisions to rid ourselves of things on the unpacking side.

I also need to make a committment to purge and clean once every quarter. Those places like under the bed, behind the couch, etc. are embarassing when you don't do it for a couple of years!!

This past Wednesday night, my lesson for the ladies class I teach on Wednesday nights was on Mary and Martha. What an appropriate lesson for me! I have spent way too much time "doing" the past few weeks and no time sitting at my Lord's feet. I can't help but believe if I had spent time with my Lord, other things woul have fallen into place without all the stress. Somehow all that decluttering of house stuff made me contemplate all the decluttering I need to do of my heart. I need to move a lot of things out so that the Lord can move more in. As I contemplate all the ways I want to decorate my new house, I think the Lord is dreaming of ways I will let Him redecorate my heart and life.

It is a new beginning and I am praying that I will not fall back into the old patterns but use this move as a starting over place and reprioritizing. I pray that the Lord will show us some exciting ways that we can serve Him and make a difference in the part of His kingdom called Colorado Springs.

Definition of Church

2010-04-26T16:17:00.004-06:00

I read this on a young ladies Facebook post today and it caused me to think: "A church is a family of believers in Christ that weep for one another, shout for one another, and laugh with one another. They hold each other accountable in godliness and encourage one another in holiness to better serve their Master."

The first part of the quote flows easily and I agree with "A church is a family of believers in Christ that weep for one another, shout for one another, and laugh with one another." The churches I have been blessed to be a part of do those things well and I have experienced them personally. It is what we are told to do in Romans 12:15,"rejoice when others rejoice, mourn when others mourn."

But I am not sure I have seen the second part of that quote played out "They hold each other accountable in godliness and encourage one another in holiness to better serve their Master." I can't speak for anyone but myself, but I don't tend to hold anyone accountable especially when it comes to godliness or holiness. I sometimes will mention that I think a certain movie is inappropriate or show some surprise when somebody sees a movie or listens to music that I think is not appropriate. But holding someone accountable is a far deeper level. And if I am very honest, I am not so sure I want anyone holding me accountable....BUT if I knew someone would??? Well, I am sure there are a lot better choices I could make when it comes to godliness, holiness and serving my Lord.

Accountability requires honesty. There is no "fooling" one another with true accountability, but I think the only way accountability would work for me is if it not salted with judgement. So I really like the way the quote says "encourage one another in holiness". I can't hold you accouountable for a standard I am not willing to set for myself.

So I am hoping in this move as we are looking for a church, that Steve and I will look for a church that "is a family of believers in Christ that weep for one another, shout for one another, and laugh with one another. They hold each other accountable in godliness and encourage one another in holiness to better serve their Master." Perhaps there will be such a church in Colorado Springs.

What Is A Confession?

2010-04-13T11:03:00.003-06:00

I have a few soapboxes and one of them has to do with Baptism. Growing up in the churches of Christ we were taught there are "five steps to salvation: hear, believe, repent, confess and baptism". Our generation has realized the "legalism" in that approach and that salvation is not about steps and it doesn't end at baptism. Baptism is the beginning of our walk with Christ not the end. It is at that point that we recieve the gift of the Holy Spirit who then begins to transform us more and more in the image of Christ with the gifts of Himself: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, aithfulness, gentleness and self control. We rely heavily on the grace of God to cover all those areas where we fall short. But we make it our goal to live out 1 Peter 1:15-16 "But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: "Be holy, because I am holy."

This is my soapbox. One of the things that has to happen in order to embrace the meaning of baptism is confession. Here are some scriptures about confession:
-Romans 10:9-10: That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved."
-Romans 14:11: "For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved."
-Philippians 2:10-12: "that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,to the glory of God the Father.

So where did we get the tradition that when someone is baptized we ask them the question "do you believe that Jesus is the Son of God" and then the person being baptized says "yes". Is this really a confession? I don't think so, I think it is an affirmation. The person is affirming what they believe not confessing what they believe. The scripture says that we are to confess that "Jesus Christ is Lord", not the "Son of God" so my question is why don't we ask the person "who do you say that Jesus is?" OR "What do you believe about Jesus" OR "what is your confession today"? Any of those would lead to an actual confession.

-James 5:16: "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective."
-1 John 1:9: "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." Would we interpret these scriptures to mean I ask you "have you sinned?" and you say "yes, I have" that it was a confession of sins? I don't think so. So then imagine what would happen if this question was asked "why are you wanting to be baptized"? That the individual being baptized actually gives a testimony of their faith, how they came to hear, believe and what they are repenting of, actually confess that Jesus is Lord and are baptized. To me we have just made baptism a "step" and not a transforming life event. We fit it into a service instead of focusing a service around it.

On Easter Sunday we had a young girl baptized and I thought it odd to watch us take communion and she let it pass by her because it wasn't "official" yet and yet no one took communion with her afterwards?? Have we not missed the point??

Do I think God honors the baptism of all of us who just said "yes" to the question that was asked of us? Absolutely yes! But just wonder how many of us would have been more transformed if we had confessed that "Jesus Christ is Lord" and understood better what it meant for Him to be the Lord of our lives?

So there is my soapbox. I will not step down off of it.

Five Year Anniversary

2010-04-09T23:08:00.004-06:00

Five years ago today, my life was forever altered by someone who decided they would get behind the wheel of a car (F150 truck) while drunk and entered the north bound lane of I-75 going south and hit me head on. Unfortunately, there has not been one day in that five years that I have not thought about that day. Unfortunately, the pain I still feel with every step I take, makes it hard to forget. But I am also thankful eveyday that I have two legs to walk on. We fought hard to keep my left leg and I am so very grateful that God healed it to the degree he did.

Time is interesting isn't it?? Someways it seems like five years was a lifetime ago and other ways it seems like it was just yesterday. I wish I could say that during these past 5 years that I have come to terms with it all, but I honestly still grieve the life that was taken away from me. I want that life back, but I know I can't have it. I am doing my best to embrace my "new normal" but I am not there yet.
I think that is one of the reasons I am looking forward to our move to Colorado Springs, it is a chance for a new start. No more driving on 75. Although I am nervous about finding a new orthopedist. I am just praying I won't need one. I go to see my orthopedist here April 22nd and hope that he gives me a great report and promising news about my future.

One of the things I will take with me is the memories of how wonderful all my friends and family have been! I could not have made this journey without the love and support of all of you! Especially all of your prayers!! The awesome thing about friends in the Lord is you know you will always have that love and support and they are there as prayer warriors anytime you need them. I am so very thankful for that.
I will be able to say as Paul did in Philippians 1:3-"I thank my God every time I remember you."

Celebrate Easter!!

2010-04-03T10:25:00.002-06:00

Don't you just love Spring? I love the change of seasons and I love each of them for different reasons, but I have to confess that Spring is my absolute favorite. I love watching all of creation come back to life with all the brillance of colors! It is such a visual reminder to me of what my Lord Jesus has done for me. I was so very dead in my sin and He has given me Life. It wasn't till recently that I was contemplating the day that Jesus died and it came to me that Satan is not all knowing and He did not know that Jesus was going to rise from the dead. He actually thought He had won. That wasn't a new thought but what I visioned was when Jesus started to move and come back to life, can't you see Satan calling all his demon forces and them trying to keep Jesus down and Him breaking through and the victory that it was over Satan? No wonder He works so hard to keep so many from knowing the truth, and no wonder He works so hard on me to not live the life I have been called to live. 2 Corinthians 5:15-"Christ died for everyone. He died so that those who live should not live for themselves anymore. They should live for Christ. He died for them and was raised again." Thank you Lord Jesus that your death and ressurection did not just give me one time forgiveness, but every second, of every day forgiveness day after day because that is how often I need it!! Thank you for ALL the times you ressurect this dead heart and bring it back to life! This will be the first time in I don't even know how many years that I did not buy a new Easter dress. I decided that it was time to realize that Jesus did not die for me to have a new dress but to have a new heart.
My favorite Easter Song by Keith Green, one of the best Christian singers of all time.

LTC (Leadership Training For Christ)

2010-04-02T22:12:00.002-06:00

For fifteen years Good Friday has always been busy loading up, driving to the hotel, unloading, organizing and waiting for kids to arrive to participate in Leadership Training For Christ. For the last five years I wasn't responsible for all the details but still tried to be a part of the weekend because it is something I really believe in. Helping kids discover their spiritual gifts and how valuable they are in the work of God just ignites my spirit. Tonight I listened to 15, 3rd to 4th grade girls read their Bibles for 2 minutes publicly. They were such a joy. You could tell from their voice inflections that many of them actually believed about the God they were reading about. I wrote on the bottom of each one of their score sheets "I hope you will Always love reading God's Word". You couldn't help but wonder what life would bring to each one of them in the years to come and if their roots would be deep enough to stand strong and withold all those storms? I hope so.
It doesn't matter if the kids do chorus, puppets, art, drama, speech, etc. every event has an opportunity to teach a spiritual message that will stay with each child for the rest of their lives. Look at some of the themes from past years.
Romans... I Am Not Ashamed
II Samuel...Chosen by the Lord
Luke...With God and Men
II Kings...Open Our Eyes
Revelation...He Shall Reign Forever and Ever
Genesis...In His Image
Matthew...Go
Life of Moses...Stand Firm
Luke...Lost and Found - Luke 15:32
Joshua, Judges, Ruth...Take the Lead - Judges 5:2
Acts...Unstoppable! - Acts 5:42
1 Samuel...Here I Am! - I Samuel 3:16
John...Light-Life-Word - John 1:1-5
2 Samuel...The Rock - 2 Samuel 22:2, 3, 32, 47

This year the theme was The Rock and here are the lyrics to the songs that we sang:

There is no rock, there is no God like our God
No other name worthy of all our praise
The rock of salvation that cannot be moved
He’s proven himself to be faithful and true
There is no rock, there is no God like ours

Rock of ages, Jesus is the Rock!
Rock of ages, Jesus is the Rock!
Rock of ages, Jesus is the Rock!
There is no Rock, there is no God like ours!

I'm standing on the rock of ages,
Safe from every storm that rages
Rich, but not from Satan's wages.
I'm standing on the solid rock.

Through my disappointments, strife and discontentment
I cast my every care on the Lord.
No matter what obsession, pain or deep depression
I'm standing on the solid rock.

Even though He's gone now, I don't feel alone now,
With comfort came the spirit of the Lord.
Now His hand will guide me from temptation hide me
I'm standing on the solid rock.

Now I'm pressing onward, each step leads me homeward
I'm trusting in my Savior day by day
Close is our relation, firm is it's foundation
I'm standing on the solid rock.

I'm standing on the rock of ages,
Safe from all the storm that rages
Rich, but not from Satan's wages.
I'm standing on the solid rock.

When my burdens heavy won’t you lead me to that rock
Lead me to that rock, yeah lead me to that rock
My load will be made lighter if you’ll lead me to that rock
It has been a shelter for me.

Lead me to that rock that is higher than I
Higher than I, so much higher than I
Lead me to that rock that is higher than I
It has been a shelter for me.

Now when the devil tempts me won’t you lead me to that rock
Lead me to that rock, yeah lead me to that rock
He can never defeat me if you’ll lead me to that rock
It has been a shelter for me

Lead me to that rock that is higher than I
Higher than I, so much higher than I
Lead me to that rock that is higher than I
It has been a shelter for me.

My prayer is many years from now when the sweet girls that sang this song face something that shakes their foundation that they will remember that God is their rock and He will help them stand firm.

In years past we had up to 50 kids participating in LTC. This year there were seven.
I confess that I am really struggling to understand why our young families are not supporting this great event?? There is time for dance lessons, gymnastics, year around sports, plays etc. but 6-8 weeks of an hour a week preparations for this event is too much? Many object to it being on Easter Weekend. I could understand that if I saw the majority of these families were particpating in Good Friday services and spending time in family devotionals contemplating the true meaning of Easter. Guess I am too judgemental, but Easter seems to be more about new Spring clothes and egg hunts and candy with a little Jesus on the side. Then I stop and see how 10,000 children participate in LTC each year (don't know how many families that is, but last year it was 489 churches) and I realize somewhere people do embrace the value of LTC and I am thankful. Then I think of my sweet friends the Deans who have a daugther who is participating in her 2nd LTC this year and how excited they are about it...their sweet Gillian is confined to a wheel chair and has a major seizure disorder. She doesn't speak but can light up a room with her smile and yet she completed the service project segment of LTC because her parents were intentional about taking her to visit others and brightening their day, and then tomorrow she will do signing for the deaf and be part of their chorus. Her parents are at a church that values what kids can learn through the LTC experience and where everyone from young to old gets involved to support it. Did I hurt for my girls singing tonight that there were only six people in the room cheering them on? You betcha! But I hurt most for all of those who weren't there to be blessed by listening to these sweet girls sing about their love for the Lord.

LTC has been around since 1960 and keeps growing, so I think it will be around for a long time. And I am glad to know there are many other adults that will continue to keep the legacy alive. Best of all who knows perhaps those girls I was with today will actually be coordinating their churches LTC one day.

This was WAY too long for anyone to read, but I just needed to express my heart as this will probably be my last LTC unless someone brings it to Colorado. If only I was younger :-)

Colorado Springs

2010-03-26T22:18:00.004-06:00

Well, if everything continues to proceed okay, we should be living in Colorado Springs by the middle of May. After a couple of months of being up in the air and not being sure whether we should move, we made the jump to do it. We really wanted to be in Denver to be closer to family but after some time looking there, we just couldn't afford the housing prices there. Steve and I could have probably found a condo to be content with but there was nothing for my mother and father, and we are moving them as well. So when we discovered Colorado Springs was so much cheaper, we decided an hour away was alot better than the 14 hours we are now. We were able to find us a nice house and my parents a nice condo and things have fallen into place so far for us to sign contracts on those, and to sell our places here as well.
Now the fun begins as I have to begin deciding what goes and what stays. Since the new house is about 500 square feet smaller, I will definitely need to downsize. Also, I have pretty much had the same decorations for 20 years, so I think it is time to envision something new. But what?? And the truth of the matter is after all the moving expenses there won't be a lot left over for decorating.

I wish God had made all of this a little clearer for us. It seemed that everywhere we turned we hit an obstacle and we were beginning to think that His answer was "no", but then things worked out. I hope that wasn't us ignoring all the signs and just wanting our way?? But then there were parts that were just too good to be true, like having 2 cash buyers for our place and my mom's who are buying our places as is. Then when the bank pre-approved my mom for a loan, it just seemed it was meant to be.

It is kind of scary thinking about moving to where we don't know anyone, but have done it many times before and God has always been good to provide great friends wherever I have gone, so I am trusting Him to do it again. Colorado Springs isn't really what I had in mind in retiring to "small town America", but it is a pretty city. I really love that all day long wherever you drive you can see the mountains. Pikes Peak is really pretty. There are four churches within 10 minutes of every direction so we will see where the Lord will be able to use us the most.

I think Steve is going to love the fact that there is a plethora of aircraft in the skies at all times. With two Airforce bases there, he will have a ball. A program at one of the churches is "adopt a cadet". That would be fun.

So thought I would post some pictures of the new house, because I doubt I will have any more time to blog before we move.

Yes that is a view of the mountains from my patio :-)

Conversations Cafe

2010-03-08T19:03:00.006-07:00

This past weekend we had another R.E. Ladies Retreat, which we called Conversation’s Café. We decorated in a café style and had our speakers talk around that theme with
“Conversations with the owner”, “Conversations with each other” and “Conversations With the World”. This is my third Ladies Retreat to be the chairman of the committee and it is always such a fun process to see how God brings a plan together and blesses it.
You start off at that first meeting just brain storming ideas and praying and as the weeks and months progress, He just gives you such clarity. He always brings together the perfect team with the diversity of gifts that are needed. Imagine if everyone’s gift were the same how all the different pieces would get accomplished? Then He brings together the perfect gathering of women. We never worry about “how many” women register, because we totally trust God to bring the women He wants to be there. This year once again God did not disappoint and blessed this retreat in definite Ephesians 3:20 ways!
Thank you God! We are so grateful for Your blessing and Your presence!! I have been going to retreats for more than 30 years and I can honestly say I don’t ever remember coming home from one and wishing I had not gone. But I will confess the thing I have missed on the last 3 retreats is having time to just hang with friends. When you are on the committee, you are so busy with all the logistics, that you don’t get as much time to just visit. I was looking back through some pictures someone sent today and thought “I didn’t get to visit with her, or her, or her”. One blessing I do think a lot of women miss out on at retreats is meeting new people and getting to know them. I guess just by human nature we tend to “hang” with the people we know best and even though we spend most of our time with those people already, at a retreat we want to spend more time with them. You try to build in some times where groups are mixed up and people get to know others a little better, but still for me it never seems to be enough. I tend to eat with a different group every meal, and sit by a different person each session and this seems like the right thing to do. Yet when I come home I just don’t feel like I had good “friend time”. Guess that has been because for several years now I don’t just have one good friend or what many would call a “bff”. But I do have a lot of different women I love talking to, just not so much to “hang” with.
Okay…that was totally off the topic of what I thought I was blogging about which was the way God blessed this retreat. More than some retreats of the past, this retreat had a lot of laughter. Laughter is such good medicine. I learned something new about Angela Tooley and that is she is a comedian, she was a great Julia Childs!

We did a skit about “Rejected Retreat Themes” such as “News Extra: It’s Not All About Me”, “I Will Survive/God’s Plan for Disco”, “Is God in your Wigwam”, “Yodeling for Yahweh” and “Hope: One day Madonna Will Sag Too.” We had props or costumes for each, and that was good for some laughs as well.

All in all it was a perfect mix of good times, spiritual renewal and lots of great food. Robin Kelly provided some awesome meals and a scrumptious dessert menu.
Look at this feast:

So not just physical but spiritual. Thank you God for showing up and conversing with us all in such a special way.

A Glimpse of Heaven

2010-02-28T21:43:00.004-07:00

In my last post I told you that Jenny Bizaillion had won her reward and was home with God. On Thursday Steve and I were blessed to attend her memorial celebration. Amazingly her brothers Josh and Jonathan performed the service. Josh lead the praise and worship and Jonathan didn't really preach, but talked about Jenny and the hope she had in the Lord. God empowered both of them to bring honor to their sister in a most difficult time. There have been very few moments in my life where I experienced worship the way I did in that service. The Holy Spirit was spilling all over that room. You could feel God's presence in such a strong way. There was a moment at the end of the service where we were all asked to bow. During his prayer Jonathan said something like "God, we have asked that you keep Satan away from this place today, but right now I ask you to reveal this room to him and let him see that he did not win, You did." At that moment I could see heaven and the way that it is going to be when every knee bows down and claims that Jesus is Lord. I can't wait for that day!
Seems that funerals always cause me to be more reflective of my life. Perhaps because you don't want to die knowing you didn't do all that you want to do. I wanted to be closer to God than ever before and realized that is not going to happen unless I start spending more time with Him. And that is only going to happen if I turn the television off. So for the next 30 days I am going to make a committment to not turn on the television until 5 p.m. every day. (well maybe not on Saturdays)
The time I normally spend on the computer and watching T.V. I am going to spend reading the stack of books I have, beginning with Randy Alcorn's book "If God Is Good." Too....I will get up in the morning and only spend 30 minutes on the computer (checking emails and FB status) Then I can't get on it till after 5:00 as well. I will be posting about what I am reading and what God is saying to me. I am anticipating that the next 30 days will be life transforming. I love the song "Ancient Words", perhaps my heart will truly embrace the lyrics in the days to come.
Ancient Words

(Michael W. Smith)

Holy words long preserved
for our walk in this world,
They resound with God's own heart.
Oh let the ancient words impart

Words of Life, words of Hope
Give us strength, help us cope
In this world, where e'er we roam
Ancient words will guide us Home.

CHORUS:
Ancient words ever true
Changing me and changing you,
We have come with open hearts
Oh let the ancient words impart

Holy words of our Faith
Handed down to this age
Came to us through sacrifice
Oh heed the faithful words of Christ.

Holy words long preserved
For our walk in this world.
They resound with God's own heart
Oh let the ancient words impart.

We have come with open hearts
Oh let the ancient words impart

Home Free

2010-02-23T13:21:00.002-07:00

In my last post I mentioned Jenny Bizaillion and her physical struggle. She lost her earthly battle but won her heavenly reward yesterday afternoon. I know that when we die in Christ it should really be a celebration, but I also hurt for her husband, child, and the rest of her family who have to continue life without her. I was talking with God and just expressing my confusion as to why one would have to suffer so and a family have to endure watching that suffering when she was going to lose the battle anyway? It just seems cruel. But I do know the cruelty of it all wasn't from God but from our enemy Satan who wants to steal our joy. Yes, for some reason God allows it, but I lay the blame where it belongs and it makes me more eager than before to see Satan get his "final due".

As God so often does in my life, I was reminded of this song from the past by Wayne Watson.

In I'm trying hard not to think you unkind
But Heavenly Father
If you know my heart
Surely you can read my mind
Good people underneath the sea of grief
Some get up and walk away
Some will find ultimate relief

Chorus
Home Free, eventually
At the ultimate healing we will be Home Free
Home Free, oh Ive got a feeling
At the ultimate healing
We will be Home Free

Out in the corridors we pray for life
A mother for her baby, A husband for his wife
Sometimes the good die young
It's sad but true
And while we pray for one more heartbeat
The real comfort is with you

You know pain has little mercy
And suffering's no respecter of age, of race or position
I know every prayer gets answered
But the hardest one to pray is slow to come
Oh Lord, not mine, but Thy will be done

Let it be...

Home Free, eventually
At the ultimate healing we will be Home Free
Home Free, oh Ive got a feeling
At the ultimate healing
We will be Home Free

Where Are You God?

2010-02-20T18:51:00.005-07:00

Don't know about you, but there are just times in my life when I have to ask "where are you God?". My head knows He is everywhere. My knowledge knows He is right beside me, but my feelings are "where are you?" Why is it when you are begging for clarification things just seem to get blurrier?? Why is it when you are begging for healing things just seem to get worse?? I have asked for peace and yet peace evades me. It is just so hard to understand. Jesus said he came to give life abundantly, so why is this life so much of the time such a struggle? I know that we don't have the promise that life will be easy, but during these times when the enemy comes against you in such a powerful way I just wish I was stronger. "Resist the devil and he will flee from you". Really?? I yell "Satan, leave me alone" but he is not fleeing. I pray "in the name of Jesus, I tell you to leave" and yet he continues to attack. In the midst of my own disappointment and weariness of the last couple of weeks I have been following the Carepages of Jenny Bizaillion who has been fighting for her life for 14 days. Today over 7,000 times people have posted prayers and thoughts for healing. We thought she was getting better, then she had to have both of her legs amputated below the knee because of gangrene. The last couple of days we thought she was getting better again and now the sepsis is in her brain and causing seizures. How can that be with so many prayers going up for her?? I don't have the answers, I just keep saying to myself "I will trust you Lord, I will trust you Lord. I don't understand, but I trust you Lord." Do you hear me Satan? I will trust the Lord even when He seems silent. I will trust the Lord and not lean on my own understanding. Proverbs 3:5

To Move Or Not To Move??

2010-02-16T15:49:00.003-07:00

I am home from my Denver house hunting trip. What an emotional roller coaster that was! I thought I was at peace with the decision not to buy, until I got home and realized that it means I am not moving. Sometimes change just seems good for the sake of change I think. But I am trying to embrace Philippians 4:11-12. Contentment has never been my strong suit. And it is no surprise to anyone who has read my blog for awhile that waiting for God isn't my strong suit either. This time though the part of the puzzle that I just don't understand is why God would have sent an unsolicited buyer for my house who was offering cash "as is". That just doesn't happen very often and we thought it was such a blessing. So I felt a little like Abraham in that God said "go" but in my particular case he didn't provide the "where". It's not like we can just keep our buyer hanging without a definite answer. So once again I feel like I have hit what a friend of mine calls a faith bump. It is amazing when you give Satan a small opening how he turns it into a wide gap. So all day long this is the song that has been coming to my mind and I have been singing "Do I Trust You Lord" by Twila Paris.

Sometimes my little heart can't understand
What's in Your will, what's in Your plan.
So many times I'm tempted to ask You why,
But I can never forget it for long.
Lord, what You do could not be wrong.
So I believe You, even when I must cry.
Do I trust You, Lord?
Does the river flow?
Do I trust You, Lord?
Does the north wind blow?
You can see my heart,
You can read my mind,
And You got to know
That I would rather die
Than to lose my faith
In the One I love.
Do I trust You, Lord?
Do I trust You?

I know the answers, I've given them all.
But suddenly now, I feel so small.
Shaken down to the cavity in my soul.
I know the doctrine and theology,
But right now they don't mean much to me.
This time there's only one thing I've got to know.

Do I trust You, Lord?
Does the robin sing?
Do I trust You, Lord?
Does it rain in spring?
You can see my heart,
You can read my mind,
And You got to know
That I would rather die
Than to lose my faith
In the One I love.
Do I trust You, Lord?
Do I trust You?

I will trust You, Lord, when I don't know why.
I will trust You, Lord, till the day I die.
I will trust You, Lord, when I'm blind with pain!
You were God before, and You'll never change.
I will trust You.
I will trust You.
I will trust You, Lord.
I will trust You.

Please help me to also be content.

House Hunting

2010-02-08T19:12:00.002-07:00

Boy! Who knew buying a house in the Denver area would be so hard! Houses are so much more expensive here than in the Dallas area. Even though I don't mind downsizing, I don't want to buy a 30 year old house for my 30 year future. I am trying my best to trust that God has already picked our house out and knows how it is always going to work out. I just wish He could make it all clearer. One thing I have discovered, is don't go look at things you can't afford because it just makes the process harder. My emotions jumped on the 2nd house(condo) we saw because it was better than anything I had seen in a month on the internet. However, I don't know if I could see myself living there 30 years from now and there were at least 1,000+ other condos in the area. Not my idea of a neighborhood. So I had to back up and get realistic. Besides it had no features that Steve was wanting and a lot he did not. It did have a great view of the mountains. I have decided to give up on the perfect mountain view knowing that in an hour I can drive up into the mountains. Right now it is all about trying to find something that doesn't stretch us beyond our means. It is so easy to get caught up in what you want and not what you actually need. It is easy for me to be envious of others and wonder how they can afford such a nice home. Steve and I have worked hard over our lives and it just seems like we should have more money tucked away for a day like this, but it is mostly my fault we don't because I am a really bad saver of money. Too it is crazy that in retirement our health insurance is more than a house payment!! Doesn't seem quite right that you work all those years to retire to pay for your medical insurance. Anyway....my nature is to get negative and I really do need to count my blessings and be grateful for what the Lord has given me. So I have to quite frequently say "get behind me Satan". Hopefully in the near future I will be able to post how God blessed this process beyond all I could have asked or imagined.

Blindside

2010-01-17T15:48:00.000-07:00

Last week I went to see the movie "Blindside". I wasn't sure about going because so many people had raved about it I did not want to be disappointed. Often that seems to be the way it is, I don't tend to like the movies others like and visa versa. But this was one time the raves lived up to the movie. It was a great movie with a great message. I couldn't help but want to watch the Baltimore Ravens play yesterday, just to see Michael Oher now.

If only there were more Tuohy's in the world. People who saw beyond color to need and rose up to meet that need. I love the line when one of her friends says to Leigh Anne "I bet you are teaching him alot" and she says "no, he is teaching me alot." That is always the way God works; when you think you are blessing other people,it is actually you that is blessed.

There is one problem I had with this movie and that was their protrayal of Christians. I am sure that Leigh Anne Tuohy is a force to be reckoned with and is an advocate for her children and Michael, but I don't think she would do it in a way that dishonored God by using the same foul language that others used on her. When the family prays over Thanksgiving dinner, there is no mention of Jesus or praying in His name. I can't imagine that is the way the Tuohy's say their prayers.

Typical Hollywood. Come close to presenting Christianity as it is, but keeping the reason we all live the way we do out of the movie. They said the Tuohy's practice Christianity without being preachy. St. Francis of Assisi said "preach the gospel at all times and when necessary use words". Yes, we all should have lives are reflective of the Lord of our lives. But not once in this movie does it show the Tuohy's gaining strength to live that life in prayer or in community with other believers. Maybe I am unrealistic and this is the best Hollywood can do.

What I find really interesting is when people say to me "didn't you just love that movie?" and I say "yes....but..." They reply, "oh, I didn't really notice that Jesus name was never mentioned". Maybe, just maybe it is because so many of us live life everyday without mentioning His name. Yes, I am talking about myself too.

Home Going

2010-01-09T14:58:00.002-07:00

Today I attended the "home going" of an 82 year old sweet sister in Christ. Don't you just love that thought?? Homegoing. I had always heard of homecomings, but not homegoings. Everyone handles grief differently. But the husband and children of Nita Lee understood that the end of life is a time of celebration. Today we celebrated Nita's life with some of her favorite things, including a man playing "Amazing Grace" on the bagpipes. I didn't know Nita very well, because about the time she and her husband came to R.E. I had my wreck and as I recovered she got worse in her on health. It has only been in the last year that I had a few conversations with her. My last memory will be running into her and James at Panera Bread and James was indulging her by letting her go back to the counter and order some sweets. She was like a child in a candy store, as all the sweets were so appealing to her. I had to order and didn't see what she ordered, but I just remember her delight in choosing.

I never can attend a funeral without contemplating my own death. I hope that my memorial service will also be a great time of celebration. I am glad that those that love me can have confidence that I have lived my life with the Lord at the center of it. No, I am not perfect and will not have been when I die, but I will be covered by the blood of my Savior and He will make me perfect.

One thing did make me really sad today. As Steve and I contemplate moving it dawned on me that there will be many of my dear senior saints that I have spent the last ten years with and won't be here to see their "home going". While that makes me sad, what makes me glad?? That I will see them again at the feet of my Savior some day. I live my life for heavenly reuinions.

Jesus said..."I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies;and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?" John 11:25-26 Yes, Lord I do!!

Rest In Peace

2010-01-08T22:32:00.002-07:00

Tonight we went to a visitation of a sweet sister from church. She and her husband had been married for 60 years! I cannot even imagine how lost you feel after spending 60 years with someone and then there not there. It was sweet hearing him telling stories about the woman he loves.

In the last week or so there have been several deaths of people much younger. To me death is harder when it is not what is expected. In other words when you are 80 or 90 each extra day you have is a blessing, but no one thinks a 15 year old or an 18 year old are going to die.

Now that Facebook is such a popular way to stay connected, people post all sorts of things. But I have noticed a lot of people post "Rest In Peace" (RIP)after someone dies. I realize that most people mean well, but what exactly are we saying when we say "rest in peace"? It almost sounds like it is in the dead person's control to make sure they are resting in peace. Like we can will someone to rest in peace??

The truth of the matter when you are in Christ Jesus when you die, there is no doubt that the person is resting in the arms of the one who is perfect peace. Our life is over, there is nothing we can do. We don't have to wish someone peace, they are at peace. Unfortunately, if they are not in Christ then you can say "rest in peace" all you want and it won't do any good because that person is not going to have peace now or forever. It is a terrible thought.

Look at all the verses that promise us we have peace in Jesus Christ.
John 14:27
John 16:33
Romans 3:17
Romans 5:1
Romans 15:13
Ephesians 2:14
Philippians 4:7
2 Peter 1:2

Then these are all the verses that say God himself is Peace:
Romans 15:33
Philippians 4:9
I Thessalonains 5:23
Hebrews 13:20
Revelation 1:5

So maybe I am being nit picky but I think the better thing to say would be "I am glad you are at peace" or "thanks for the memories" or best of all "rest in God".

"Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way."
2 Thessalonians 3:16

The SON

2010-01-07T13:32:00.002-07:00

I am sitting here all nice in warm in my house on a really cold day looking at the sun beaming through my sun room windows. It made me think how deceiving it looks. It is such a bright sunshiney day that it looks like I should just be able to walk outside and sit on the deck. But it is only 27 degrees outside today. I thought of two different spiritual truths that this represents to me.

First, is this not the perfect picture of the SON?? He brings light into the darkness. He brightens our lives. He brings the warmth of His love into our hearts. The SON radiates and reveals what is hidden. We are drawn to the SON.

On the other hand on a day like today the sun is also somewhat like Satan in that it is actually disguising what is really happening. We think the sun warms things up and when it is shining brightly we just assume it will be warm outside, but on days like today, even though it looks like things should be warm, it isn't. Satan is the biggest deceiver of all. He makes things appear appealing and we walk into his trap.

The lesson for me??? Is it is always in my realm of control which way I look at things. I hope more and more I will see the SON and bask in all that He has to radiate on me.

"The throne of God and of the Lamb will be in the city, and his servants will serve him. They will see his face, and his name will be on their foreheads. There will be no more night. They will not need the light of a lamp or the light of the sun, for the Lord God will give them light. And they will reign for ever and ever." (Revelation 22:3-5

Christ In Christmas

2009-12-29T11:58:00.002-07:00

When we were in Omaha for Thanksgiving I went to Parables Christian Bookstore and found a book entitled "25 Days 26 Ways. To Make This Your Best Christmas" by Ace Collins. It was an enlightening book. If we are intentional about keeping Christ in Christmas then you can find Him in all the Christmas traditions: wreaths, lights, card giving....even shopping! I tried to put some of the thoughts into practice. One of the things I plan on doing in future years is getting rid of my Santa Clauses and replacing them with nativity scenes or things that will remind me more of the reason for the season.

One change I made this year is I replaced my angel on top of my tree with a star. In reading Brock and Bodie Thoene's book "Why A Star" and Ace Collins chapter on Lights, I realized that perhaps God used a star to announce Christ's birth because Christ was going to bring light into darkness. I wanted a star on top of my tree to remind me that I also am to be light in a world of darkness.

The other thing I had never considered, is perhaps the shepherds were the first to get the announcement that Christ was born, not just because they were lowly, but because Jesus would himself be the Good Shepherd, and the lamb.

One of the things I discovered is that there is even a spiritual explanation for the "12 Days of Christmas". First of all the 12 days of Christmas actually started on Christmas day and continued to the day of Epiphany (January 6th)
From 1558 until 1829, Roman Catholics in England were not permitted to practice their faith openly. Someone during that era wrote this carol as a catechism song for young Catholics. It has two levels of meaning: the surface meaning plus a hidden meaning known only to members of their church. Each element in the carol has a code word for a religious reality which the children could remember.

The partridge in a pear tree is Jesus Christ, the Son of God. In the song, Christ is symbolically presented as a mother partridge which feigns injury to decoy predators from her helpless nestlings, much in memory of the expression of Christ's sadness over the fate of Jerusalem: "Jerusalem! Jerusalem! How often would I have sheltered thee under my wings, as a hen does her chicks, but thou wouldst not have it so..."

The other symbols mean the following:

2 Turtle Doves = The Old and New Testaments
3 French Hens = Faith, Hope and Charity, the Theological Virtues
4 Calling Birds = the Four Gospels and/or the Four Evangelists
5 Golden Rings = The first Five Books of the Old Testament, the "Pentateuch", which gives the history of man's fall from grace.
6 Geese A-laying = the six days of creation
7 Swans A-swimming = the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit, the seven sacraments
8 Maids A-milking = the eight beatitudes
9 Ladies Dancing = the nine Fruits of the Holy Spirit
10 Lords A-leaping = the ten commandments
11 Pipers Piping = the eleven faithful apostles
12 Drummers Drumming = the twelve points of doctrine in the Apostle's Creed

Now SNOPES says that this is not true, but I for one will not sing this song again without remembering a possible alternate meaning. I found a post by Dennis Bratcher that I tend to agree with "However, many have questioned the historical accuracy of this origin of the song The Twelve Days of Christmas. While some have trying to debunk this as an "urban myth" out of personal agendas, others have tried to deal with this account of the song's origin in the name of historical accuracy (see Snopes on The 12 Days of Christmas). There is little "hard" evidence available either way. Some church historians affirm this account as basically accurate, while others point out apparent historical and logical discrepancies.

However, we need to acknowledge that the "evidence" on both sides is mostly in logical deduction and probabilities. Lack of positive evidence does not automatically provide negative evidence. One internet site devoted to debunking hoaxes and legends says that, "there is no substantive evidence to demonstrate that the song 'The Twelve Days of Christmas' was created or used as a secret means of preserving tenets of the Catholic faith, or that this claim is anything but a fanciful modern day speculation. . .." What is omitted is that there is no "substantive evidence" that will disprove it either.

It is certainly possible, in fact probable, that this view of the song is legendary or anecdotal. Without corroboration and in the absence of "substantive evidence," we probably should not take rigid positions on either side and turn the song into a crusade for personal opinions. That would do more to violate the spirit of Christmas than the song is worth. So, for the sake of historical accuracy, we need to acknowledge the likelihood that the song had secular origins.

However, on another level, this should not prevent us from using the song in celebration of Christmas. Many of the symbols of Christianity were not originally religious, including even the present date of Christmas, but were appropriated from contemporary culture by the Christian Faith as vehicles of worship and proclamation. Perhaps, when all is said and done, historical accuracy is not really the point. Perhaps more important is that Christians can celebrate their rich heritage, and God's grace, through one more avenue this Christmas. Now, when they hear what they once thought was only a secular "nonsense song," they will be reminded in one more way of the grace of God working in transforming ways in their lives and in our world. After all, is that not the meaning of Christmas anyway?"

I'm Back

2009-12-26T18:09:00.002-07:00

So don't know that anyone will see this, but I have decided to blog again. Probably won't be everyday,but we will see what happens.

Today has been a hard day. Usually, the day after Christmas is a depressive time for me, today was not so much so. Probably because the focus of today was not on me but others. I visited three different people who had to spend Christmas in the hospital, passing room after room of other people who had to be in the hospital and nurses who were having to work to care for these people. Most of these people do not occupy my thoughts most of the time, but the did today. And it has caused me to ask my Father for forgiveness. There are so many sick people that I have procrastinated visiting. My good intentions don't quite do the trick. I remember all too well how important visitors were when I was in the hospital. It was not only important to feel you weren't forgoten, but it really helped pass the time. So you think I would be better at living out the lesson for others. I think the reason I procrastinate is because I think I have to have the "right" words to say actually knowing there are no right words. I have no answers as to why God allows suffering. I keep wanting a pat answer, but there is none.

One of the sweet ladies I visited today has been put in a nursing home because she needs antibiotics by IV every six hours and has no insurance for home health care. It was so sad to see this 40 something woman in this facility with so many elderly people who can not take care of themselves. But if that were not enough, while her mother was visiting this morning she felt like she was having a heart attack and they had to call 911 who transported her to the hospital, one block away and now she is in the hospital as well. I just want to say "excuse me God, I know you are God and I am not, but this makes no sense. Is not Lorna having it hard enough without this happening? How can this be for any good? But I do know you are God and I am not and you have promised you will cause ALL things to work out together for good". That is enough.

I tried to do more of Advent this year, but was not very successful, a little here and there, but definitely not every day. But studying for three lessons for the ladies class I teach taught me a lot more about the Adevnt season and celebration. One thing I learned that Advent is not just about the "coming" of Jesus' birth but also about His second coming. Days like today make me more eager than ever for that day to come. Heaven, where there is no pain, no sickness, no sorrow but just perfection in total fellowship with our Father, Son and Spirit. Unfortnately, I don't spend near enough time anticipating that day and being eager for it to come. Years ago there was a song by Newsong called "Fingertips and Noses" that I loved. I hope that more and more in the days, weeks and months again that I will capture this spirit.

Up in the hills somewhere in Kentucky
In a little old school way back in the nothing
Where special kids born with special needs
Are sent to learn life's ABCs

Their teacher, Mrs. Jones, tells them all about Jesus
How in the twinkling of an eye He's coming back to get us
About streets of gold and pearly gates
How they want to go, they just can't wait
And she can't keep them in their seats
They're all at the windows straining to see

And it's
Fingertips and noses pressed to the windowpanes
Longing eyes, expectant hearts for Him to come again
All they know is that they love Him so
And if He said He'd come, He's coming
And they can't keep their windows clean
For fingertips and noses

She tried to explain to the kids about His coming
She tried to calm them down, but they just wouldn't listen
They just giggled and they clapped their hands
They're so excited that He's coming for them
And the first thing you know they're out of their seats
Back at the windows straining to see

Where will Jesus find us when He comes again?
Will we be like little children waiting just for Him?

With our
Fingertips and noses pressed to the windowpanes
Longing eyes, expectant hearts for Him to come again
All we know is that we love Him so
And if He said He'd come, He's coming
And we can't keep our windows clean
For our fingertips and noses

Final Post

2009-08-13T17:53:00.005-06:00

Well, I have been debating for a couple of weeks of whether I would continue to blog and I think I have made the decision to quit. When I first started my blog in 2007 it was to help me process my journey through my car accident and so many of you were so encouraging and helped me with the emotional healing during that time. Then in the last year I have been blogging about some spiritual things God is teaching me. This summer it has mostly been about my travels. But now I am just dry and don't think I have too much to say that would entice anyone to want to read. I think it is because I spend too much time on Facebook. I like Facebook though because you can keep up with so many different people and I really enjoy looking at other people's pictures. So if I have something else major to say, I will probably just post it as a note on Facebook.

So the last two days our internet has been down, so I couldn't blog yesterday about Steve and my 20th anniversary. We still can't believe that it was 20 years ago that we got married. It just seems like it has gone so fast. Since the Alaskan cruise was our gift to ourselves, our day was spent with a simple movie and lunch at Saltgrass. We went to see "Angels and Demons" at the $1.00 movie, so we had fun on little money :) We thought "Angels and Demons" was much better than "Divinci Code". It had a lot of action and plot twists and turns. We then came home and then unfortunately Steve twisted his back really bad and has been hurting ever since.

So Time-Warner came out this morning and replaced the modem and we are back in business.

If I could have blogged yesterday it would have been for one last time to tell you how blessed I am to have such a wonderful husband. When we got engaged, he purposed telling me that he promised to love me the way Christ loved the church and I can honestly that he has kept that promise. He is the most unselfish person I know and is always putting my needs before his own. The sweetest thing he does is several times a day he comes and massages my feet while they are up in my chair, and almost everyday puts lotion on them. He just knows that I enjoy it. Steve had no idea when we took our vows and he said "in sickness and in health" that my life would hold so much sickness and pain, but I would not have been able to go through any of it without his love and support. He helps me to remain strong and keep my eyes on the Lord. There is no greater blessing than knowing your husband loves the Lord as much as you (if not more) and will do their best to help you receive your eternal reward. I am thankful we will share eternity together. I thank God for His divine plan in bringing us together.

So for those of you who are still reading, many who I have no idea who you are, I thank you for checking in. For those of you who faithfully took the time to comment I thank you and enjoyed our chats. This is my prayer for all you from Ephesians 3:20-may our Lord bless you abundantly more than all you can ask or imagine. As Carol Burnett would say "I'm so glad we had this time together."

This is Steve and I on the seaplane in Ketchikan.

Last Alaskan Trip Post

2009-08-07T16:28:00.005-06:00

So I have shared most of the scenic pictures from Alaska, but here are just some random pics of things I took just because I had a new digital camera and could.

Remember in Tennesse there were Runaway Ramps? Well apparently in Alaska trucks don't runaway, they just escape :)
Not sure I have seen very many kayaks in Texas?Just in case Steve said he didn't relax on our trip.Yes those are dollar bills. Don't know when they started this trend, but evidently people don't mind giving up a dollar to be part of the scene. We did not leave our mark on this place.
Better be careful, you never know who will just snap your picture because they think you might remind them of someone else.
Wish I knew how to carve watermelons, I can hardly carve a pumpkin.
Our attempt to do the teenage thing and take our own picture on the bus. For some reason theirs all look a lot better???
Steve thought it was ironic that we say "watch your head" and the boat said "mind your head". Didn't you think along with me that Palin was popular in Alaska?? Maybe not so much??

Whidbey

2009-08-03T15:08:00.003-06:00

After we disembarked the cruise ship, we returned to the airport, rented a car and headed toward Whidbey. My Brother Brad had told us that it would be a nice place to spend the night and kind of debrief before heading to his house. Steve's mom had generously given us money for our birthdays so we used it to stay at a bed and breakfast. It wasn't a tradtional bed and breakfast in terms of the house. While the room was adequate, it didn't have any comfortable seating. But it did have a GREAT view and had comfortable seating outside. They had a very freindly cat, Rocky, that Steve really enjoyed.

Victoria Canada

2009-07-31T20:17:00.007-06:00

Well our last day at sea included a stop at Victoria Canada. Once again we were only going to be there 4 hours, which was not near enough time. We had scheduled an excursion to Buchart Gardens. Unfortunately, we only had about 15 minutes or so before it got dark and then we saw the gardens by light. We had 2 hours to see 55 acres of flowers. Good thing I was on a scooter. Steve wasn't all that into the gardens, so he would sit and wait for me while I would take off on the scooter. The gardens were very pretty and I had fun experimenting with my new camera and taking pictures of flowers. Unfortunately, when I went to take a picture of what I thought was the prettiest of the gardens, my batteries died and I did not have anymore with me. So here are some of the pictures I took, along with a really fun video of some people I enjoyed watching dance at the gardens. Especially watch the guy on the left with the black shirt and tan pants...he was really getting into it!

So why is it we call them restrooms and in Canada they are washrooms??

Ketchikan

2009-07-28T21:38:00.009-06:00

So our last Alaska port was Ketchikan. It was actually my favorite, but unfortunately, we got the shortest amount of time there and by the time we did the Seaplane excursion, we only had about an hour to explore. But here are the pictures of the town and the views from the seaplane.

This was my favorite picture I took of the trip. It was from our landing on Misty Fjord and I love the reflection in the water.

How would you like this to be your rug in your den?
And then look who I found vacationing in Ketchikan! Who knew?

Tracy Arm

2009-07-26T21:47:00.005-06:00

One of the neat things about our Alaskan cruise is it was sponsored by In Touch Ministries, so that everyone on board was a believer (or a friend or relative). It was just nice to know that you didn't have to worry about anyone getting drunk (they didn't serve alocohol) or about bad language, etc. One of the neat things was when we made it up Tracy Arm to see Glacier Bay they were talking on the loud speaker so that we could all hear, and they said we should all praise God for His creation and began singing "How Great Thou Art". I videoed what was going on and you can hear the singing and then you can hear Steve excited to have a bald eagle siting. Unfortunately, you really can't tell it's an eagle. Just thought on this Lord's day it was appropriate to post the video. You will hear Dr. Stanley speaking to us as well. Not sure what happened when the camera goes sideways, but....oh well.

Glacier Bay

2009-07-25T12:58:00.006-06:00

Tuesday was our day cruising Tracy Arm and Glacier Bay. It was the most serene of all the days, just because our cruise speed was very slow and for hours we saw all sorts of ice bergs. Some people spotted orca whales, but unfortunately, not us. We did see one seal swim close to the ship and another sitting on an ice formation. Also saw a couple of bald eagles, but couldn't get them on camera. It was also our coldest day, so hot chocolate tasted really good and also the split pea soup they served us on deck :)

Skagway

2009-07-24T15:08:00.007-06:00

This was our first cruise. We enjoyed all the decandence and just being spoiled. We especially enjoyed the formal 5 course dinners. We had the same table partners all week and enjoyed getting to know them.
It was fun coming back to the room every night to see what kind of towel animal Mulyanti had made for us.
Our second port was Skagway. Definitely not handicap friendly as there were several railroad tracks to get over and then wooden sidewalks. We took a 2 hour train ride into Canada and then returned by bus here are just a few pictures from the trip:

This is a snowplow, that is still operated in the Winter.

We stopped on the way back at Liarsville, it was called that because the newspaper men would come there to cover the Gold Rush but instead of actually covering the news they would wait till the gold rushers returned to camp and report their stories as news. This was the one thing on our trip that definitely was not worth the money ($41.00 each)

Juneau

2009-07-23T13:33:00.011-06:00

So after sailing all day Saturday and half day Sunday, we landed in Juneau. Sunday morning we had a worship service with Dr. Stanley before getting off the ship to enjoy Juneau. Steve and I had reserved a Whale Watching excursion that took 4 hours of our shore time. We were hopeful to see whales, but could not have imagined what we were going to be blessed to see. It is called bubble netting. Most whales do not spend time in community, so sitings are usually of a lone whale, but there are times they come together in an effort to feed. You can read about the interesting process here: www.alaskawhalefoundation.org/education/bubble_net/bubble_net_feeding.html
Here is the best video I was able to take, wish we had been closer:

I had wished we were this boat as they were alot closer to the whales than we were. Seems like they could have taken turns?? As it was each boat was only allowed 30 minutes and then they were suppose to move on. Our driver dropped a microphone in hopes that we could hear the whales, but there were about 5 other boats in the area so there was too much noise.
The brown building is the state capital building, one of the few without a dome. No, we didn't see Sarah Palin.

Alaska Day One

2009-07-22T22:11:00.011-06:00

(Steve checking us in for our trip)

So we are back from our amazing Alaska adventure and have 1200+ pictures to show for it. No...I will not post them all here, but will spend the next few days giving highlights of each day.

We began our trip in Seattle arriving the day before our launch and staying at the Sea-Tac Marriott. We were able to get two $200.00 vouchers by delaying our flight for an hour and a half, which we didn't mind doing. Friday morning the bus picked us up at 10:30 a.m. and it was off to the cruise.

Immediately we were taken back at the size of the ship! It was huge! We sailed on Holland America's Zaandam. When we boarded our ship the room wasn't quite ready so the first thing we got to do was enjoy our first of many buffet's. It was all everyone had told us it would be...way too much food to choose from. We then checked in our room and within 30 minutes our luggage showed up.

We then set sail at 4:00.
We had signed up for the early dinner at 5:30 p.m. and were paired with two other couples. The Crawfords were from Columbus, Mississippi. Sammy was an associate pastor of a Baptist church who had been at the same church for 30 years and his church had given him the cruise as a gift. The Mayers were from Michigan and ran a 1400 acre gladiola farm. We really enjoyed getting to know both of these couples during the week.We enjoyed our welcome from Charles Stanley. We returned to the room to find chocolates on our bed and our drapes pulled. Steve was the first to figure out that the rugs in the elevator were going to indicate the day of the week. We both commented that we were amazed how well we slept the first night. Must have been the rocking of the boat. Stay tuned tomorrow for a look at our port in Juneau.

Alaska Bound

2009-07-08T22:44:00.002-06:00

On our way to Alaska tomorrow. I have decided not to take the computer with me and take a break and vacation from that addiction. So you will have to wait till after the 20th to see the pictures and get an update. I know you will be waiting with baited breath :) I can promise you that I will not be missing this heat while I am gone. Hope we will return home to all things being well with you and yours.

Maryville, Tennessee

2009-07-01T19:34:00.011-06:00

So if you Google "places to retire in Tennesee" you will find the number one recommendtion is Maryville, so we checked it out today.
Nice town, still a little larger than what we think we are looking for but it definitely had some pluses. Major one is that it is only 30 minutes to the Great Smoky Mountains. It has everything you would want, including my number one requirement. We are blessed to have a Garmin and that has helped us to find a lot of things including a church of Christ. So we were pleasantly surprised to find this church looked fairly modern and not that small.
So then we found the 2nd church of Christ which was more like what we expected.
They must be looking for a minister, because one was not listed, just the youth minister. Oh yes, we turned the corner and found out we were mistaken the sign was just in the yard of the house, here is the actual church. Wow! I am pretty sure it was bigger than R.E.

We then headed to the Great Smoky Mountain Scenic drive.

77 degrees, sunroof and windows down, 18 miles along the river. It was beautiful!

Tomorrow it is on to Nashville and the wedding. We got a great deal on the Sheraton Downtown on Priceline....woo hoo!

Trucks, Trucks and More Trucks

2009-06-30T20:02:00.007-06:00

Boy have we been seeing the 18 wheelers on this trip! And numerous police suv vehicles, sometimes 3 or 4 at a time. Never have to worry about that with Steve driving as he ALWAYS goes the speed limit. Anyway...just thought I would post a few pictures of the trucks. I have been taking lots of pictures with our new camera so that I can be in good practice for our Alaska trip.
Our Avalon was excited to see so many relatives.

Some carrying interesting loads.

I had no idea that trucks could run away from home :0

I was amazed to see this one, because I did not know Fruit Stripe gum still existed. I loved this gum as a kid.

There were even flying trucks.

Finally today we took a ride on an Incline Train. It was a 72.7 grade built in 1895. It was interesting but definitely not worth $14.00 a piece for 30 minutes.

Tomorrow it is on to Knoxville.

On The Road Again

2009-06-29T19:08:00.002-06:00

Steve and I are on our way to a wedding in Nashville. The wedding isn't until Thursday but we decided we would come early and just spend some time exploring Tennessee. We have both thought it might be a good place to find our "small town America" to retire. After talking on our trip today Steve is thinking maybe he would like Ohio or Wisconsin because there would be more opportunities to enjoy aviation events. We have heard that Ohio is one of the lower cost of living states. But most of all we want to go where God can use us...we realize that He can use us anywhere, but we are feeling called not to just be involved in "church" but to be more missional in the community where we live. We said maybe we should just stop at little churches on the way and ask them what they are doing and how could they use us. Just kidding...but it does bring up the question "how do we know where God wants us to go?" So for now we are just open. Today we are in Jackson with no plans yet of where we are heading tomorrow. I think we probably should have stayed in Memphis and then we could have taken the southern route. Guess we can still go south from here, but came a little bit out of the way.
So stayed tune to see where we end up next.

We were creative today and besides spending time talking about retirement, we played a singing game. We tried to see who could come up with the most Beatle songs. We could only think of four so we then decided to try songs with a city or state in the lyrics. Steve won this one. I didn't keep track but we came up with a bunch. We then went on to songs with numbers in them and songs with names of birds. I then said songs with people's names, but by this time Steve was "songed" out.

Contemplating Death

2009-06-26T18:39:00.006-06:00

You can't be a part of what has been going on the past couple of days and not think about death. Makes me wonder what my legacy will be when I die? Have to admit I can't help but wonder if Michael Jackson did not like being considered weird why he didn't do more to change his image. Okay and am I the only one whose favorite MJ song is "Ben"?

And Farrah Fawcett?? Hopefully after I die I will have contributed more to the world than being famous for my hair. Actually...I did find this picture of my Farah Fawcett hair that I cut myself.

But today I went to see "My Sister's Keeper" and there is a seen where a 17 year old is dying and her younger 12 year old sister asks her "are you afraid to die?" and then asked "where do you go when you die?" She said she was not afraid to die and then replied, "I don't know, but where ever it is I will wait for you."
It just made me think that if I didn't know that death is actually our victory and that life after death is so much more than we can ever imagine then how would I face death? Without God and His love facing death has to be scary. I am so thankful that when my time comes that I will be able to die in peace. However, I do think it is worth thinking about what kind of legacy I will leave when I die. I hope and pray that it will be one that glorifies my Father and causes other people to want to know Him better.

Il Divo Part 2

2009-06-23T23:54:00.000-06:00

When Il Divo sang this song I could not help but wipe tears from my eyes.

A Night With Il Divo

2009-06-22T15:30:00.007-06:00

(our first attempt to download pictures from Steve's Blackberry)

Last night Steve treated me to a night of Il Divo for an early birthday present. If you are not familiar with Il Divo, Simon Cowell (yes from American Idol) had an idea of putting together four men who could sing classical music but not opera. He searched for two years before putting together an international group: Spanish opera and zarzuela baritone, Carlos Marín, a French pop singer, Sébastien Izambard, and two classically trained tenors, Swiss Urs Bühler and American David Miller.

Each of them have amazing voices on their own, but put them together and they are just bone chilling. Even though 90% of the concert was not in English, I still really enjoyed it. But here is the problem. Since it wasn't in English I had no idea what they were singing. My favorite song was one called Hallelujah. Listen to it and then read the rest of the post.

I thought it was so beautiful and had to research today to see what the lyrics actually said imagine my surprise when I put them into a translation service and discovered this:

A soldier home today returned
and a sick boy he was cured
and today there is not I work
in the forest of the rain
The deserted was saved because
of a good deed and today nobody repudiates it
Hallelujah
[Chorus:] Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah
An atheist that managed to believe
and a hungry one today has to eat
and today they donated to a church a fortune
That the quick war will be finished
That in the world to the end will reign the peace
That there will not be any misery
Hallelujah
[Chorus:] Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Because the norm be the love
and govern not the corruption but the good thing
and the best of the pure soul
Because God protect us of a badly final one
Because a day we can learn
Because to put an end to so much fury
Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Because a day we can learn
Because to put an end to so much fury Hallelujah

Have to say though I was glad they changed the lyrics from the orginal ones of Leonard Cohen.

Now I've heard there was a secret chord
That David played, and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do you?
It goes like this
The fourth, the fifth
The minor fall, the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah

Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you
She tied you
To a kitchen chair
She broke your throne, and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah

Baby I have been here before
I know this room, I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew you.
I've seen your flag on the marble arch
Love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

There was a time you let me know
What's really going on below
But now you never show it to me, do you?
And remember when I moved in you
The holy dove was moving too
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

You say I took the name in vain
I don't even know the name
But if I did, well really, what's it to you?
There's a blaze of light
In every word
It doesn't matter which you heard
The holy or the broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

I did my best, it wasn't much
I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch
I've told the truth, I didn't come to fool you
And even though
It all went wrong
I'll stand before the Lord of Song
With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah

Lesson learned? Just because the lyrics have the words Hallelujah, doesn't mean it is a religious song.

For their encore they did come out and do an amazing rendition of Amazing Grace. And yes, it was in English.

Happy Father's Day

2009-06-21T21:51:00.000-06:00

I am thankful that God has allowed me to spend another Father's Day with my Dad. He wanted to go to the Great Buffet for lunch, so we did that on Friday. Today was simple, he didn't want a dessert, so I just took him some grapefruit. He loves grapefruit that is peeled. It took me about 45 minutes to peel him four, but it was worth it because he was so pleased. I have to admit doing this made me appreciate my mom, because she peels them for him all the time, and it is quite a bit of work to get all that skin off. Anyway...that's my dad, so easy to please, and very appreciative of just the simple things in life.

I am just thankful for the gift he has been to me and the most important gift he has given me which is the gift of having a father who has a heart for our Father. He is a wonderful vessel that God has loved me through and I am eternally greatful. I am not ready to say goodbye to my Dad, but he is sure ready to go home. I will just be grateful for each day until God calls him.

Recent picture of my Dad and his great grandson Talon

Wedding Observations

2009-06-20T17:55:00.002-06:00

I love going to weddings. It is just fun to watch a couple start life together, really clueless as to what really lies ahead. There is such innocence. I love sitting next to my husband during a wedding and just reliving our own vows and being thankful that 20 years later I can have all confidence that we have kept those vows to one another.

Today's wedding of Erin Snyder and Marshall May had to be one of the funner weddings I have been to, in that Marshall and his groomsmen seemed to have fun. Hopefully that means that he will keep things lively in their marriage. And I must say that Sara did an amazing job in sewing all the bridesmaid dresses.

One thing I have noticed about weddings is people do not arrive late. At Richardson East people are always talking about "R.E. time" because no one ever gets to Bible class on time. It is almost like it is just acceptable to be there at 9:15. As a Bible class teacher I find this to be very frustrating because you do have a couple of kids that get their early (because their parents are also teachers) and you have to begin class for them, and yet the kids that come in so late want to do the activity but don't get to because you are ready to move on to the next thing. Anyway...
my question is why can people get to wedding's on time, but not Bible class? I guess one thing that makes it easier is weddings are usually later in the day. Anyway...just wonder if God thinks our excuses for being late to meet Him are acceptable?

Benefits of the Living In The Country

2009-06-12T23:39:00.004-06:00

I don't think much of what I miss by living in the city, but my recent trip to my brother's in Olympia have motivated me to once again think about moving out in the country. Here are a few pictures from his place.

I love sitting out on a deck, and this was the view from my brother's. The haze did not go away enough to see Mt. Ranier, but it was still a pretty valley below.

Two different days and deer showed up to eat plants and grass in the back yard.

There were rhodendrums everywhere. His were lavendar and purple, but there were beautiful pink, yellow and orange as well.

Eventually wherever we move, I want to have a deck to just sit out and enjoy reading and God's beauty of nature.

My mom and I both enjoyed a ride in my brother's Rousche Mustang.
What a life :)

Are You Jesus?

2009-06-10T00:05:00.002-06:00

My friend Andrea sent me an email today with this story and I thought it was just a sweet reminder of who we are called to be.

"Excuse me, Are you Jesus?" This is really powerful and makes one think!!!! A few years ago a group of salesmen went to a regional sales convention in Chicago. They had assured their wives that they would be home in plenty of time for Friday night's dinner. In their rush, with tickets and briefcases, one of these salesmen inadvertently kicked over
a table which held a display of apples. Apples flew everywhere. Without stopping or looking back, they all managed to reach the plane in time for their nearly missed boarding.

ALL BUT ONE!!! He paused, took a deep breath, got in touch with his feelings, and experienced a twinge of compassion for the girl whose apple stand had been overturned.

He told his buddies to go on without him, waved good-bye, told one of them to call his wife when they arrived at their home destination and explain his taking a later flight. Then he returned to the terminal where the apples were all over the terminal floor. He was glad he did. The 16 year old girl was totally blind! She was softly crying, tears running down her cheeks in frustration, and at the same time helplessly groping for her spilled produce as the crowd swirled about her, no one stopping and no one to care for her plight.

The salesman knelt on the floor with her, gathered up the apples, put them back on the table and helped organize her display. As he did this, he noticed that many of them had become battered and bruised; these he set aside in another basket.

When he had finished, he pulled out his wallet and said to the girl, "Here, please take this $40 for the damage we did. Are you okay?" She nodded through her tears. He continued on with, "I hope we didn't spoil your day too badly."

As the salesman started to walk away, the bewildered blind girl called out to him, "Mister...." He paused and turned to look back into those blind eyes. She continued, "Are you Jesus?"

He stopped in mid-stride, and he wondered. Then slowly he made his way to catch the later flight with that question burning and bouncing about in his soul: "Are you Jesus?" Do people mistake you for Jesus? That's our destiny, is it not? To be so much like Jesus that people cannot tell the difference as we live and interact with a world that is blind to His love, life and grace..

If we claim to know Him, we should live, walk and act as He would. Knowing Him is more than simply quoting Scripture and going to church. It's actually living the word as life unfolds day to day.

You are the apple of His eye even though we, too, have been bruised by a fall. He stopped what He was doing and picked you and me up on a hill called Calvary and paid in full for our damaged fruit.

God's Timing

2009-06-08T00:22:00.002-06:00

This morning we attended worship with my brother Brad in Olympia, Washington. I thought the minister had a good sermon from Exodus 6. He talked about how God's timing is not our timing and what lessons God can teach us when He asks us to wait. He started out by saying that "we are always in a hurry and God never is". He said when God asks us to wait we usually do 3 things:
1. We WONDER what God is up to and how He will respond.
2. We WORRY because He isn't moving at our speed and think He may
not respond at all
3. We WHINE asking God what's taking so long?

He stated that God will actually answer our prayer when He can manifest His power in such a way that He will get the most glory.

God told Moses I AM (not "I was" OR (I will be)

It is never about what we are doing for God but what He is doing for us.

In waiting for God's plan to be revealed we will see a revelation of God's power and a revelation of God's person.

Exodus 6:2-3-God also said to Moses, "I am the LORD. I appeared to Abraham, to Isaac and to Jacob as God Almighty, but by my name the LORD I did not make myself known to them."

They only knew God partially, not totally who He was as LORD=Yahweh. If we don't wait, we will not know God for who He totally is either.

We can be confident that God will always finish what He starts.

I needed to be reminded of these truths today.

Summer is Here!

2009-06-05T12:57:00.002-06:00

Seems like this summer is going to bring more travel than usual.
Today, my mom and I leave for Olympia, Washington for my youngest niece's graduation from High School. After we return on the 10th, I will be home two weeks before Steve and I head off for Nashville for a friends' son's wedding. Then we are home a week before we leave on our Alaskan cruise.

So....won't be blogging a lot, but will have lots of pictures to share after each trip.

Everyone have a GREAT summer!!

2009-06-04T21:14:00.002-06:00

This note was in a Focus on The Family email that Steve forwarded to me today.

June Declared 'LGBT Pride Month'
President Barack Obama has proclaimed the month of June 2009 as "Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Pride Month." "The LGBT rights movement has achieved great progress," Obama states in the official proclamation, "but there is more to be done." The most recent reliable figures, from a study called the "National Health and Social Life Survey" in 1994, found that 2.8 percent of American men and 1.4 percent of American women reported some level of homosexual or bisexual identity. [OneNewsNow.com; Edward O. Laumann, et. al., The Social Organization of Sexuality: Sexual Practices in the United States, University of Chicago Press, 1994]

No, I am not going to post comments about President Obama. What struck me about the article were the statistics. 2.8 percent of men and 1.4 percent of women report some level of homosexual behavior. Does that surprise anyone else besides me? How does such a small percent of the population have such a loud voice? Unfortunately, I think it is called media.

Niece and Great Nephew

2009-05-24T20:08:00.005-06:00

My niece Danette (who just happens to be my namesake Danette Lynn) and her two year old son, Talon, came for a visit from Denver this weekend. It was such a blessing to get to spend this one on one time with her. Danette has a special place in my heart, not just because she is my namesake but mostly because she is the only sibling's child who actually takes the time to stay in touch with me. She never forgets my birthday or anniversary and stays in touch via email, she ALWAYS sends thank you notes for anything I have given her. It was so sweet of her to come because she realized that my dad would never be ever to travel to Denver again and she wanted him to see his great grandson.

Well, this weekend she even grew more dear in my eyes because I got to see what a GREAT mother she is. She has done a great job of raising her son Talon (along with her husband Steve). Talon was one of the most well behaved two year olds I have ever been around.
And he just had adorable antics and was cute as a button. We really enjoyed our time together. Here are just a few pictures of our time together.

Meekness and Rest

2009-05-22T19:38:00.003-06:00

I said I would blog about the other Pursuit of God chapter entitled "Meekness and Rest'. Meekness would be an area of my life that drastically needs improving. This paragraph spoke to my heart.

"In a world of men we find nothing approaching the virtues of which Jesus spoke in the opening words of the famous Sermon on the Mount. Instead of poverty of spirit we find the rankest kind of pride; instead of meekness, arrogance; instead of hunger after righteousness we hear men saying,"I am rich and increased with goods and have need of nothing"; instead of mercy we find cruelty; instead of purity of heart, corrupt imaginings; instead of peacemakers we find men quarrelsome and resentful; instead of rejoicing in mistreatment we find them fighting back with every weapon at their command."

"There are two things standing in contrast to each other, a burden and a rest...The burden borne by mankind is a heavy and a crushing thing. The word Jesus used means 'a load carried or toil borne to the point of exhaustion.' Rest is simply realize from that burden. It is not something we do; it is what comes to us when we cease to do. His own meekness, that is rest."

"The meek man cares not at all who is greater than he, for he has long ago decided that the esteem of the world is not worth the effort."

"The meek will not care what people think of us so long as God is pleased."

He closed with another heartfelt prayer:
"Lord, make me childlike. Deliver me from the urge to compete with another for place or prestige or position. I would be simple and artless as a little child. Deliver me from pose and pretensee. Forgive me for thinking of myself. Help me to forget myself and find my true peace in beholding Thee. That thou may answer this prayer I humble myself before Thee. Lay upon me Thy easy yoke of self-forgetfulness and through it I may find rest. Amen"

Pursuit of God

2009-05-20T20:41:00.004-06:00

I did not get to go the the Pursuit of God discussion tonight because I have a special friend in the Holy Butterfly class and they were doing their closing program.

But in reading the two chapters we were suppose to cover tonight there were some thoughts that Tozer related that again were some "ah ha" moments for me.

In the chapter entitled "Restoring the Creator-Creature Relation" there were these thoughts:
"We are right when, and only when, we stand in a right position relative to God, and we are wrong so far and so long as we stand in any other position."
"God being who and what He is, and we being who and what we are, the only thinkable relationship between us is one of full Lordship on His part and complete submission on ours."
"God was our original habitat and our hearts cannot but feel at home when they enter again that ancient and beautiful abode."

And the chapter ended with this amazing prayer:
"O God be thou exalted over my possessions. Nothing of earth's treasures shall seem dear unto me if only Thou art glorified in my life. Be Thou exalted over my friendships. I am determined that Thou shalt be above all, though I must stand deserted and alone in the midst of the earth. Be thou exalted above my comforts. Though it means the loss of bodily comforts and the carrying of heavy crosses, I shall keep my vow made this day before Thee. Be Thou exalted over my reputation. Make me ambitious to please Thee even if as a result I must sink into obscurity and my name be forgotten as a dream. Rise, O Lord, into Thy proper place of honor, above my ambitions, above my likes and dislikes, above my family, my health and even my life itself. Let me sink that Thou mayest rise above. Ride forth upon me as Thou didst ride into Jerusalem mounted upon the humble little beast, a colt, the foal of an ass, and let me hear the children cry to Thee, 'Hosanna in the highest." Amen

This is getting long, so I will post about the other chapter tomorrow. I can only hope that one day I will know the Lord the way Tozer does and be able to say a prayer such as this.