Blogging Through The Alphabet: "M" is for Marriage

We are half way through the challenge of Blogging Through the Alphabet Challenge by Through The Calm and Through the Storm and Adventures With Jude. This week the letter is "M" and I chose to blog about Marriage.

Most of the couples my age are celebrating 40-45 years of marriage, but Steve and I are only on our 26th year because God did not bring us together until we were 36.  That in itself is a fun story for another time.  I had prayed for a long time that my husband would be strong in his relationship with God.  I don't really remember praying for anything else in a husband.  Steve and I often comment on how we are opposite we are.  You name the subject and we are on opposite sides of the spectrum.  I am a spender, he is a saver.  I enjoy spontaneity, he likes routine.  I enjoy playing games, he enjoys reading.  I always thought I would make a great catch for some man because I really enjoy camping, hunting and fishing and can even bait my own hook and gut my own fish :-) Steve doesn't have any interest in being outdoors (except to shovel our neighbors snow :-))  We don't enjoy the same kind of movies, he enjoys bloody war movies or slapstick comedies.  I enjoy romantic comedies or true life stories. I enjoy salads and vegetables, he is a meat and potatoes man.  I could go on and on.  

But we have a wonderful marriage in spite of all of that and it is for one reason and one reason only. The one thing we do have in common is our love for the Lord!  

 Because Steve loves God, when he proposed to me he quoted Ephesians 5:25, except he personalized it. "Lynn, as your husband I promise to love you the way that Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her...I will love you as I love myself and I will give my life up for you."  I don't remember how many years into our marriage we also made the commitment to each other to live out Romans 12:10 "to outdo one another in showing honor."  Now that has been a real challenge for me because it is really hard to outdo Steve.  He is always trying to serve me and must ask me at least 5 times a day "is there anything I can do for you?"  But when you work to put your spouses needs before your own and they do the same, marriage can flourish (even if you are opposites).

About 15 years ago, Steve and I became marriage facilitators for Joe Beam's Dynamic Marriage, which has now been changed to Marriage Helper (you can find more information here:  http://www.marriagehelper.com) During that training we learned an invaluable concept called the "Love Bank".  Basically the principle is that when I do something positive for Steve, I make deposits in the "Love Bank" and when I do or say something negative I make withdrawals.  The key is to make sure I make 5 deposits for every withdrawal and at any point I bankrupt Him, our marriage will be in serious trouble.  Again, because Steve is so much better at deposits than I am, I have to work hard to keep up with him.  And I have learned that saying "I am sorry, I was wrong" can be a large deposit!

When we realize that our love for the Lord spills over on our spouse, there is no greater gift that we can give our spouse than having a strong relationship with the Lord.  I glorify God by loving Steve in a matter that pleases God. Steve forgives me, because he knows how much the Lord has forgiven Him and the same for me.  Our goal is to help each other get to heaven, so that means holding one another accountable.  My favorite time of the day is right after lunch each day as Steve and I spend some time in God's Word together and pray together.  But we also each have our own private times of prayer and study with the Lord.  Another way Steve and I are opposites is he is much more disciplined than I am.  Every year he reads the Bible from Genesis to Revelation.  One year I tried to do it with him and while I read more than ever, I still did not complete it.  I am more into reading books about God or other's relationships with Him as well as being in 3 Bible studies I have to complete each week.  The fact that we are doing different things does give us some great things to talk about.

I do want to mention one more thing that Steve and I want to get better at in our marriage.  We really don't argue very often, but when we do we want one of us to be led by the Spirit to say "Stop.  Let us say a prayer before we continue."  That could be together or just go off by ourselves and both pray before coming back together.  The times we have done that, makes a tremendous difference in solving the difference of opinions.

So I am glad that I chose MARRIAGE as my "M" word, as it gave me a reason to look again at the blessing I have in being married to a man that loves the Lord and was the exact answer to my prayers!  

I Am participating in the Blogging Through the Alphabet Challenge by Through The Calm and Through the Storm and Adventures With Jude. This week our letter is "L" and I chose LOVE.  I realize that Carter Chaos also chose LOVE for their "L" word and Mom's Heart also blogged about "love-hate" relationships between animals and certain family members. But LOVE was also my "L" word, except I want to share about my pet peeve about the word LOVE.

I think LOVE is one of the most powerful words in our vocabulary, but I  feel like we have trivialized it by overusing it.  Sometime in the last year I decided that I wasn't going to use the word LOVE in ways that I thought were inappropriate, i.e.:

     -I love chocolate

     -I love that dress on you

     -I love watching American Idol

     -I just love spending time with my family

     -I love living in Colorado

etc........

Since I made that decision, it is interesting how many times I have caught myself and the challenge that it has been to replace love with another word.

     -I really enjoy chocolate

     -That dress looks very nice on you.

     -I think there is some really good talent on American Idol.

     -One of my favorite things to do is to spend time with my family.

     -Colorado has to be one of the best places to live!

This is the definition of LOVE in Miriam Webster:
1. a:  strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties; love for a child
     (2) attraction based on sexual desire:
    b:  an assurance of affection love; affection and tenderness felt by lovers (3) affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests
2:  warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion
3:  the object of attachment, devotion, or admiration, first love (1): a beloved
4:  unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another: as (1) fatherly concern 
     of God for humankind (2) brotherly concern for others 
     b: a person's adoration of God

    I personally think LOVE should be saved and used in the context of relationships. There is a commitment attached to LOVE.  The best description of LOVE is found in 1 Corinthians 13:1-8:

    "If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[but do not have love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."

2.     How can we read that and then say "I love Diet Coke?" :-)

Blogging Through The Alphabet: "K" is for Koinonia

I have joined the Blogging Through the Alphabet Challenge by Through The Calm and Through the Storm and Adventures With Jude.This week our letter is "K" so I chose to write on Koinonia.  I have some sweet friends David and Ashley Hollis that I had to say "goodbye" to this week (as well as their three children: Jonathan, Jackson and Lizzie).  While I love the entire family, I will be talking here more about my relationship with Ashley.  

The Hollis' and us moved to Colorado Springs about the same time 5 1/2 years ago.  Ashley and I were in Ladies Bible Class together and began our relationship through our common love for the Word.  You might not be familiar with the term Koinonia.  Here is the definition: 
" Kononia is a tranliterated form of the Greek word, κοινωνία, which means communion, joint participation; the share which one has in anything, participation, a gift jointly contributed, etc."

It wasn't long into our relationship that Ashley and I started serving together.  She has a gift of organization and there were many church events where we worked side by side with each other. From the get go she always was concerned about my health and if I was over doing and would always try to get me to sit down.  And while she was my friend, she often treated me like she was my daughter.  I don't think she ever called me Lynn, it was always Ms. Lynn.  

One of the things that Ashley and I had in common was our love for teaching children.  We would spend so much time talking about what she wanted for her children in terms of their faith formation.  Since I used to be a Children's Minister, she would come to be for suggestions, ideas or advice and I was always glad to share what I felt the Lord had taught me.

Philippians 2:1-2 declares, “If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose.” Koinonia is being in agreement with one another, being united in purpose, and serving alongside each other. Our koinonia with each other is based on our common koinonia with Jesus Christ. First John 1:6-7 says, “If we say that we have fellowship with Him, and walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin.”

I appreciate the love for the Lord that the Hollis' have instilled into the heart of their children.  They also instilled a love and respect for me.  I will always have special memories of their sweet Jackson coming to me during our worship time and asking if he could pray for me.  It happened several times and always touched my heart that he had a heart for prayer.

I could say so much more but will stop by saying it is a precious gift when you can share Koinonia with another person.  The best part about it is that even though the Hollis' are moving to Louisiana we didn't really say "goodbye", we just said "see you later" because Koinonia lasts into eternity and for that I am very thankful!!

"J" is for JUSTICE

Those of you that have followed my blog for awhile are aware of my story of my accident in 2005 when I was hit by a drunk driver resulting in 6 months of rehab and 2 years of recovery.  I have recently joined Blogging Through The Alphabet ( http://throughthecalmandthroughthestorm.blogspot.com/2016/01/blogging-through-alphabet-week-10.html) and this week our letter is the letter "J".  The word that immediately came to me was JUSTICE.

The drunk driver that hit me, ran away from the scene of the accident and was never found.  That is a long story in itself, but over the years when people have heard the story they will say something like "too bad you didn't get justice."  To which I usually reply "I know that one day God will give justice or mercy as He sees fit."

Now don't get me wrong, there have been moments when I thought justice would have been for that individual to have to travel with me to every therapy and doctor appointment I have had for the past ten and half years.  But for the most part, I have been able to leave it in God's lap with the confidence that He indeed will give justice or mercy as He sees fit.  I can only do that because of His character.  I know through scripture that He is trustworthy and is a God of justice.

Pslam 50:6: "And the heavens proclaim his righteousness, for He is a God of justice."

Psalm 89:14: "Righteousness and justice are the foundation of your throne; love and faithfulness go                          before you."

Psalm 103:6: "The Lord works righteousness and justice for all the oppressed."

Isaiah 30:18: "Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you                                   compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!

Acts 17:31: "For he has set a day when he will judge the world with justice by the man he has                                  appointed. He has given proof of this to everyone by raising him from the dead.

Yesterday in our church services we sang the song "I Surrender All."  I have difficulty singing that song because there are many things I have yet to surrender to God, but thankfully this is one thing I can say I have surrendered.  For the wrongs that I see in the world where it seems that evil is winning, I am thankful to know that in His time God will wield a hand of justice and evil will get its due!! I don't have to do a thing, but just sit back and watch! :-)