Are We Blushing Anymore?

On Wednesday Nights we have been studying Beth Moore's, Praying God's Word. This last Wednesday a paragraph she wrote in the chapter "Overcoming Sexual Strongholds" really struck a chord with me.

"None of us will question that he is having a field day in our present generation in the area of sexual strongholds. Satan's attacks on sexuality have become so outright and blatant that we're becoming increasingly desensitized and are unknowingly readjusting the plumb line to a state of relativity. In other words, instead of measuring our lives against the goal of Christlikeness, we are beginning to subconsciously measure our lives against the world's depravity. We can point to any amount of trash heaps around us and say, "I'll never be as bad as that." A Christian teenager might reason, "At least I sleep only with my boyfriend. Anyway, we're going to get married one day." A Christian spouse might justify his or her lusts with words like, "I may not get to order the dish, but there's no harm in checking our the menu." The virus of relativity is especially compromising in the media industry. We're tempted to choose one compromising movie over another because it's not nearly as bad as the other. We are wise to become very alert to the venomous snakebite of relativism. Satan is increasing the dosage of sexually immoral provocation with such consistency that we don't realize how much poison we're swallowing."

I agree with what she is saying in this paragraph but especially what she terms the "virus of relativity". I have been struggling lately because I have so much wanted to go see the movie "The Help". It has not helped that numerous friends on FB have posted that they have been to see it and it is such a good movie. Well, it is rated PG-13 and I usually go out and research what causes movies to get those ratings. Plugged In is a good source (http://www.pluggedin.com/). I used to love "Screen It", but they now charge $47 a year for a membership. If I went to movies every week, that would be worth the cost, but I don't. But what I like about the sites is that it tells you exactly why a movie is rated what it is rated. They count the number of cuss words and tell you what they are. Of course I struggle with the fact that I am reading the words instead of hearing them spoken in a movie, not to mention someone else had to listen to the language to record them.

Back to "The Help".....can I really go see a movie where God's name is taken in vain at least 8 times? Not to mention several other expletives. Yes, this movie has an inspirational message and the maids even talk about their faith in God. But can I justify the bad for the sake of "the good story"? Sometimes I just feel like I am such a prude, but I think God has just been calling me to a different standard, because I have not always made these same decisions. I have seen my share of "R" rated movies. But in the context of what Beth said above, I do find it interesting when I asked several people what "The Help" was rated PG-13 for, they said it had to be the racial tensions in the movie. Several said "the language wasn't that bad". Not that bad?? This is what Plugged In said "Six or seven s-words. Two obvious misuses of Jesus' name and nearly 10 of God's name. Four times God's name is paired with "d‑‑n," a word that is uttered other times as well. Whites spit out "n-gger" a handful of times. Other profanities include "a‑‑," a‑‑hole" and "h‑‑‑." So here we go....compared to other movies is it so bad? Wrong question. If I am being honest, I have written this and rewritten it several times trying to convince myself that I should go see this movie. I knew if I went ahead and put it down in writing here, that I would not be able to go see it. And if you are reading this and did go see it, I am not trying to guilt you. I am saying that perhaps we all should examine the extent to which we have become desensitized and ask ourselves if we are guilty of Jeremiah 6 and lost our ability to blush? I pray that I will not listen to the voice of Satan telling me "it is not so bad" and instead make my standard Philippians 4:8 "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." The challenge for me is to set that as my standard, but not judge others or think myself as "more holy" when I do that. Recently, Steve and I went to see "Cowboys and Aliens". We were only 5 minutes into the movie when the language started and I said to Steve "I can't believe I didn't even think to check this movie out first". So I am not saying we are perfect people. Thank you God that we are forgiven people covered by grace.

Blogging Blues

Recently I saw a post on Facebook where the individual stated they were considering blogging again and wondered if anyone had any advice about it. This is what one person said in reply "Be real. Be honest, and even controversial if there is something on your heart to share/discuss. And if you are posting about your family adventures, don't just post about the good times, post about challenging things too" and here is another "i totally agree with Nicole! be real and honest. Write what God lays on your heart. whether its good, bad or even contervsial. Because you never know who God will put in your path to read, understand, long for or even just guidance of what God is doing or can do for them."

I concur with those statements and think that is basically what blogging is. I guess it is transparent journaling. In the past couple of months there has been someone posting anonymous comments on my blog that has made me question why I am blogging? Their comments have really hit my heart hard. I pray I am not the person this anonymous reader perceives me to be. I have considered just quitting, but I do think there have been many more times that God has used my words to bless someone than aggravate, so I will trust that that will continue to be true in the future.

But to my anonymous poster, I am no longer allowing anonymous post to my blog. If you want to criticize me you are going to have to be brave enough to let me know who you are. I do ask your forgiveness for whatever I have done that has caused you to see me as this self centered, vindictive, critical spirit. I definitely do have my faults, and I have often confessed over the years on my blog that I struggle with a critical spirit. I definitely do need to look at the positives in people and situations a lot more than the negatives. I will continue to pray that God transforms my mind into a Philippians 4:10 mind. But I do hope you will find a more constructive way to express your discontent with my posts. Please include me in your prayers and ask God to reveal anything in my heart that is displeasing to Him. I will continue to do the same. After your comments, I made an edit to what I said about Steve's mom in a way that better expressed what I was trying to say. I was not trying to dishonor her in my comments, but express my sadness in the fact that we were not close. It was never anything intentional on either of our parts, but as I tried to say, it was the fact that we did not really know each other from spending limited time together.

I do thank you for posting though, for without your comments I would not know that someone actually perceives me the way you do and I wouldn't know to be asking God to change those things in me. I am just so VERY thankful that He is willing to extend me more grace than you!! Years ago He revealed to me Matthew 7:2 "For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." So I know I don't want to be judged the same way I judge others, so believe me I am working on it!!

I posted this quote on my FB page last night because it was very convicting to my heart. I know I will need to read it over and over again in my future to keep everything in check. This is from Beth Moore.

My name is Pride, I am a cheater.
I cheat you of your God given destiny....because you demand your own way.
I cheat you of contentment....because you "deserve better than this".
I cheat you of knowledge....because you already know it all.
I cheat you of healing....because you're too full of me to forgive.
I cheat you of holiness....because you refuse to admit when you are wrong
I cheat you of vision....because you because you'd rather look in the mirror than out a window.
I cheat you of genuine friendship....because nobody's going to know the real you.
I cheat you of love....because you real romance demands sacrifice.
I cheat you of greatness in heaven....because you refuse to wash another's feet on earth.
I cheat you of God's glory....because I convince you to seek your own.
My name is Pride, I am a cheater.
You like me because you think I'm always looking out for you. Untrue.
I'm looking to make a fool of you.
God has so much for you, I admit, but don't worry....If you stick with me you'll never know!

Life and Death

Death is part of life, we all know that, but it is still not something we spend much time thinking about. Steve's mother, died on July 27th. Since this is the 2nd death we have experienced this year, we have spent more time not only thinking about it, but actually dealing with it. Fortunately, Steve's mother's passing was more peaceful than my Dad's, but nevertheless hard. Steve's brother emailed him on 7/14 and said he was going to take a couple of days off work to try and explore some options as his mother was no longer able to stay by herself. Steve had some commitments and told his brother he would come on Monday, but before he could get there his mother had gone to the hospital because she was having trouble breathing. By the time Steve arrived on Monday night they had diagonsed her with congestive heart failure and had ordered hospice for her. It was important for Steve and his brother that their mother be allowed to die at home. She had lived on the 10 acres in Omaha for almost all of her 87 years. The boys cared for her 24/7 and she died 8 days after coming home. Steve was with her when she passed and had just finished swabbing out her mouth.

Steve had thought it was best that I not accompany him on this trip. First of all my mother had been ill herself for about three weeks and he was concerned about my own health and the high temperatures and humidity in Omaha. I disagreed with him, but finally relented knowing he did not need to be worrying about me but be able to give all of his attention to his mother. While it was the right decision, once I learned they had put her in hospice I kept asking him if I could fly out, but he continued to say "no". Looking back on it, Steve still feels like it was the best decision and feels it gave him not only special time with his mom, but bonding time with his younger brother Russ. After praying for days and askng others to pray that God take Mary Jane home quickly, when she hadn't died by July 25th, I asked God to please not let her die on my birthday, the 26th. Seemed pretty selfish at the time and as I thought about it, it would have been kind of mind blowing to consider that in God's scheme of things He would have planned for me to be born and Steve's mother to die on the same day. But as it turned out, He did answer my prayer and she did not die until the 27th. I then flew out on the 28th.

Steve's mother had planned her funeral for years. She had been wanting to go home ever since her husband had died in 2004. Yet, all that she had planned had fallen apart. The funeral home had been torn down, her church had let her down and since she had not been able to attend for a few years because of failing health, no one visited her and they had a change in ministers, so she did not know the one that was there now. One thing she had always asked is that she not have an impersonable funeral. And finally the VFW where she wanted her reception was no longer renting it's facilities for such affairs. But God was very faithful over all the details and it all turned out in a way that we think she would have been very pleased with. The funeral home was great and we could not have asked for better staff. They had a minister on contract who was able to perform the ceremony and he did an amazing job. He even stepped up and offered to sing one of her hymns "Beyond the Sunset", because the funeral home could not find any appropriate renditions to play. And then the local VFW where she and her son had been eating meals every Tuesday and Friday for a couple of years let them hold her reception there, even though they were not members. Several ladies volunteered their time to set up the luncheon that we had catered and took care of all the clean up for us. We had plenty of food because Steve's mom had said to plan for 125 people and there were about 80 friends and family there. So all things considered, the service went as well as it could.

This is Steve, his brothers, sister in law, Kelly and cousin Mary

Steve and Russ with the hospice nurse, Danette, who came to visitation.

You cannot experience a funeral without contemplating your own death and your own funeral. My biggest takeway....is this, it is a blessing to be surrounded by friends and family, but I want my funeral to be a celebration of life and a praise service to God for who He is and what He has done in my life. No recorded music, I want the attendees to lift their voices in praise. That is why I am thankful for church family as I know they will be able to do that.

Steve's mother and I did not have a strong relationship. She didnt have a daughter, just three son's and I always felt my efforts to help her were viewed more of an intrusion. It is hard when you have to get to know someone from long distance. In the 21 1/2 years we were married, she never visited our home. I was probably in hers a dozen times. That is not much. But what I will always appreciate her for, is she raised my husband to be the wonderful man that he is. I could not have a more loving husband and when I knew I would not be able to say goodbye to her in person, I wrote Steve this email to read to her "Mom,

I am so sorry that I can not be there to give you a hug and kiss and tell you that I love you. I am so glad your three boys are there with you and I know that they bring you great comfort. I knew that you might have difficulty hearing me on the phone, so thought I would type out this note and let Steve read it to you. I just want to thank you for all the love you have given me the past 22 years. You have been such a sweet mother in law. The gift you have given me that I will always treasure the most is your sweet son Steve. Thank you for sharing him with me. Thank you for raising him to be such a great man. I knew what a wonderful husband he would be by the way he loved his mother. I have never questioned whether there was someone better out there for me, because I knew I had the very best. You are in my thoughts and in my prayers constantly, and I am asking my God to allow you to pass into His arms peacefully. I know that you are going to love being home and reunited with your sweet Herb. It brings me comfort to know that you will be in heaven where I will see you again one day. I can only pray that it will be soon for us as well. So I say goodbye with these words from Psalms 23 "The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever."