Today's God Message

So all three times I started my car today this song from Casting Crowns was on. Do you think that was a coincidence? I know God was sending me a message. I did hear it.

Praise You in This Storm
words by Mark Hall/music by Mark Hall and Bernie Herms

I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away, stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen and it's still raining as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain, "I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls I raise my hands
and praise the God who gives and takes away.

Chorus:
And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands for You are who You are
no matter where I am and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand You never left my side
and though my heart is torn I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone
how can I carry on if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls I barely hear
You whisper through the rain "I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls I raise my hands
and praise the God who gives and takes away

Chorus

I lift my eyes unto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes unto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
the maker of heaven and earth

Chorus

Thanks for the Advice

Thanks for the advice on cleaning out my office! I made a huge dent in it today! The biggest dilemma remains with what to do with hundreds of pictures! Looking at some of them brought back such sweet memories. As I looked at Janet Strother holding Logan at their baby blessing, I said to myself "I forgot he was once a baby". It is hard for me to realize that I have actually watched so many kids grow up. One of my favorite memories was when Brady McMillan was a two year old (he is now a 6th grader) and I got notice 30 minutes before class that the teacher was not going to be able to teach. I was new and not familiar with the curriculum, so I just threw numerous puppets I had in my office in a big bag. I would then pull one out and sing a song, and so on and so on. That was on a Wednesday night and when Brady saw me on Sunday he said "Ms. Lynn where is all your stuff?" and then for several weeks after that he would ask me that same question. It was too cute. One of my favorite current memories that I will take with me is sneaky Kyle Thomas who likes to play with my electric chair. He thinks it is funny to turn it on and make it go. A few times it has been a little surprising and not real safe. I will tell him "Kyle, please don't play with Ms. Lynn's chair, someone might get hurt". He says "okay, sorry", but has this glint in his eye that lets me know he will quit for now, but I will be surprised again in the near future. He is so precious. Tonight we took the God's Girls to Braums for our last class. I got to sit with India Jones. She told me she and her mom had a "girls" weekend at a motel to have "the talk". She told me they talked about the "p" word. I thought she was talking about puberty. She later whispered in my ear it was about her "period". I could go on and on about the memories I have of these sweet children. No wonder Jesus wanted to entertain them and told His disciples to "let the children come".

Advice Needed

Okay, so today I am needing some advice. I have two days to clean out my office. This is the question... how do I decide what to save and what not to save? Nine years of pictures, notes, etc. I feel like I need one of those professional organizers who come in and organize your house, except I need it for the office. This afternoon as I tried to get started I just got paralyzed because there is so much to do and I didn't know how to start. So please give me your best adviced and rescue me from this dilemma. The amazing thing (for those of you that have seen my office) is that nine years ago when I walked into the office there were 3 books on the shelves and a very scarce teacher's workroom upstairs. I thought to myself what have they been spending their money on? Now...no one can ask that question...instead they will say "why did she spend so much money on stuff?" Honestly, I am asking myself that question. :)

Memorial Day

So it will seem that I have two posts on Monday but actually yesterday's post was done after midnight so it just got dated today. And here I am actually posting early in the afternoon instead of late at night. :)
Steve did not want to go anywhere today because he thinks if we do we are supporting that businesses not be closed for holidays. He thinks if we have the day off then everyone should. So I have been watching old war movies. I am thankful that the movies help me to realize the sacrifices that have been made by so many to secure the freedoms that I enjoy. I get so comfortable in my world that I tend to forget. The one thing I don't like about war though is the inhumanity that prevails. By it's very nature I know what war is, but I don't know why enemies are treated so inhumanely? How do hearts get that calloused? Killing someone that could kill you if you didn't strike first is one thing, but once a person is defenseless and then they are tortured, I don't understand that. Unfortunately, we have done it to others the same as they have done it to us. I am so idealistic. If everyone would just love their neighbor the way they love themselves what kind of world would we be living in? It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that out. I just wonder why more people don't want that kind of world to live in? Nevertheless, hope you all had time to stop and thank the Lord for our blessings and freedom today. Pray for the families of those who have died to ensure it for us.

Ramblings

Just a couple of ramblings before I turn in for bed. I don't know where Friday, Saturday or today went? They just sped by. Friday night Steve and I ate Chinese out and were going to the hospital to visit someone but it started raining pretty hard and Steve is very concerned I will slip on wet pavement, so we came home. Saturday I made waffles for breakfast and then we spent 7 hours getting new toys unwrapped for the church nursery, buying toy carts to put them in, a chair, and setting up new tables. We were so tired when we got home, but then I had to write 50 thank you notes to all the people who have helped me in the preschool ministry this past year. My mom suggested I just type something, but it is just not as personal, so 5 hours later, I had finished them. Today we got to eat at Red, Hot and Blue and then visited Sharon Chrisman at the hospital. I thought Sunday would be a good day to visit her because I did not have very many visits on Sundays when I was in the hospital. Well, forget that theory for Sharon because when we got there there were 4 adults and 2 children already there and before they left another 6 people arrived!! So she definitely had enough visitors. Hopefully we did not tire her out too bad. It was good to see her sitting up in a chair and to see how God had answered our prayers. Then when I got home I worked a couple of Suduko puzzles and then logged on to the computer and accessed my office files where I have spent the last five hours deleting files and folders since Wednesday will be my last day. Boy did I save a bunch of junk!
Then I compacted picture files and made them manageable. I will have to copy them on discs.
So spent alot of time reminiscing. I am glad I have so many pictures. It is amazing how much the kids have grown up. Sweet, sweet memories.

10 Things You Don't Know About Me

Becky Campbell threw down the gauntlet and asked us to post 10 Things That You Don't Know About Me, so here are mine.

1. I love to tole paint (but haven't had time in a long time!)
2. I used to be a gymnist and before my accident could still do the splits.
3. I have played the clarinet and piano (but can't do much on either now)
4. Steve and I were pen pals for 10 years before we got married.
5. Before studying to be a Social Worker, I was working on my Masters in Criminology to
be a probation officer.
6. My favorite author is Frank Peretti.
7. In 1985 I actually broke my left femur on a water park ride and was on crutches 18 months
(now you know why I was so efficient on them this time)
8. I love to river or stream fish and will even bait my own hook!
9. I have had 6 foster daughters (4 at one time!)
10. If I could live anywhere in the world (as I know it right now) it would be Big Sur, California.

So there you go. All this exercise did for me is make me realize that I have not had a very exciting life and now you all know it!!

A Child Will Lead Them

First let me start out today's post saying that in the past week for some reason I cannot log into blogger with my old user name. After getting technical advice I found I have to now use my email address as my user name? I had a couple of people tell me they were not able to post comments to my blog anymore and when I told them about this change, they also were able to log back in using their email addresses as their user name. So just in case this is happening to anyone else that is reading, I thought I would just mention it.
Tonight I had a young girl in my class who comes with Shelby Hastings. Her name is Morgan. She is the sweetest thing. We were talking about the 2nd coming of Christ and who would be a part of the calling and who wouldn't when she asked me if you had to be good all of the time to go to heaven or just most of the time? I told her goodness had nothing to do with it as none of us could ever be good enough, but it is whether we had been baptized into Christ and He was our Lord and Savior. She began to get tears in her eyes and said she would probably never be able to be baptized because her parentswould not want her to because they do not go to church. I went on to explain to her that even though it is very hard that this is the most important decision of her life and God is the most important person she must please. However, He also knows her heart and He knows whether she is ready to make that comittment yet or not. I encouraged her to read the book of Acts and see how many people in that book decided to be baptized. Anyway...my heart just hurt for her as you could visibly see the Word pricking her heart, but knowing she would not be getting any teaching or support from home. Then after class Morgan came up and told me that she and Shelby had made a pact with each other that they would stay pure until they got married and if one of them died before the other, they would wait for each other at Heaven's gate. So why Morgan may not be getting the teaching at home, obviously her relationship with Shelby is making a difference. May we all make a difference in the lives of the children of this world but not just children but all those that need to know the saving grace of our loving God.

Lessons Learned

Most of you R.E. people have probably already heard, some of my other friends have not. Last night our sweet sister Sharon Chrisman and her 11 year old son Jared were in a terrible car crash right in front of our church building. They just happened to be coming home from a boy scout meeting and as they were passing the building a car came flying over the median at an estimated 70 mph (in a 40 mph zone). Two teenage boys, one is now dead. Jared, the 11 year old was released from the hospital with a sprained ankle. Sharon is still in ICU at Parkland with a broken ankle, occiptal break (around her eye) and a severe head gash. Fortunately she does not seem to have any brain damage and she is breathing on her own. When Steve and I heard about the accident we headed to the hospital in hopes that we could somehow be a blessing. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 became so real that we are able to comfort others because of the way we have recieved God's comfort. I have to admit as I was driving down there I told Steve I was going to take the Tollway instead of I75. I am still haunted that I did not try that route the night of my accident as my life would be so different. Nevertheless, as we were there Steve and I could not help but relive some of our own journey. I thought I would just share a few random thoughts of the lessons we have learned.
1. The importance of our faith community. Within 30 minutes of hearing the news we were at the hospital and yet when we arrived there were already 10 more people from our church there. It was a blessing to be part of a prayer coverage for the Chrismans.
2. Our presence at the hospital touches more than "our" own. Last night Larry Rehn brought a large vat of Starbuck's coffee and some banana bread. He ended up having an opportunity to share it with a homeless lady that was in the waiting room. We had lots of opportunities to pray for others while we were there as well.
3. We are a compassionate people. Our thoughts and prayers are also on the other families or individuals involved in the accident.
4. Sometimes you just have to bite your tongue as you hear people talk, because in a sincere effort to try to console, people sometimes just say the wrong things. It is not a good time to tell "war" stories of others who you know who have recovered, or offer your advice on how the person should handle things. It is really best to just listen.
5. Everyone's experiences are their own. Even if you have been in their shoes the way you experienced something may not be the same, so instead of offering comparisons wait for the injured party to ask you questions if they want to know your experiences.
6. Life can change in a blink of an eye, so make sure you don't have any regrets.
I asked Larry tonight if he needed anything, he said "just your prayers", I can assure him that we will all honor that request. I am a blessed and grateful reciever of the power of those prayers.

Blessing of Prayer

Today I went to Ava Campbell's lemonade stand to buy a cup of lemonade and while there another couple showed up to buy a cup as well. As it turned out I had met Suzanne before as she was doing children's ministry at Preston Road as a volunteer and had been to some network meetings. She introduced me to her husband and he said "oh you were the one that was in that terrible accident". As it turns out about a week after my accident Suzanne flew over to Italy to join her husband who was there on business. They went to St. Peter's Cathedral. She told me while she was there she lit a candle for me. Said she had never done that before, but thought if ever one needed to be lit it was there. I was so very touched! It is amazing all the people that have been praying for me that I have had no idea. To find out she was thinking of me across the world on vacation was just so humbling. I hope I can be that blessing of prayer for others in the future as well. Speaking of prayer...
As I was driving today, two different times I heard this song by Martina McBryde on KLTY. I loved the lyrics. Here they are:
You can spend your whole life buildin'
Something from nothin
One storm could come and blow it all away
Build it anyway

You could chase a dream
That seems so out of reach
And you know it might not ever come your way
Dream it anyway

God is great but sometimes life aint good
And when I pray
It doesn't always turn out like i think it should
But I do it anywayI do it anyway

This worlds gone crazy
And it's hard to believe
That tomorrow will be better than today
Believe it anyway

You can love someone with all you heart
For all the right reasons
And in a moment they can choose to walk away
love em anyway

God is great but sometimes life aint good
And when I pray
It doesn't always turn out like i think it should
But I do it anyway
Yeah I do it anyway

You can pour your soul out singin'
A song you believe in
That tomorrow they'll forget you ever sang
Sing it anyway, Yeah sing it anyway

Why Am I Surprised?

Sometimes the Lord puts a continuous theme on my heart. Guess I don't get it the first time.
Karla Gerdes gave me a book quite a while ago called "Come Away My Beloved". She explained to me that she does not read the book cover to cover but flips through it till it falls on a page and then reads to see what the Lord has to say to her. So that is the way I have used the book as well. I looked tonight and the last time I picked up the book was 11-07-05, but I picked it up tonight and here are a few of the quotes from today's reading.

"My children, there is no good thing that I would withhold from you. I have not left you to fend for yourselves...I am the Lord your God. I am your provider and defender....Anticipate my help. I will not fail you...It is a joy to my heart when my children rely on me. I delight in working things out for you, but I delight even more in you yourself than anything I do to help you. Even so, I want you to delight in me just for myself, rather than in anything you do for me...Service is the salvage of love. It is like the twelve baskets of bread that were left over...I do not expect you to give to others until you have first eaten. I will provide you with plentiful supply to give if you first come to recieve for your own needs...Service will be futile and burdensome unless it springs from an overflowing heart...the love of God. This you do not have of yourself, nor can you give, however much you might desire to do so. You will possess this love only as you wait upon me and take time to absorb it from Me...There will never be any left overs for others unless you first eat from your own personal love feast with the Savior."

I took this as an amazing confirmation of my decision to resign and need to spend time renewing my relationship with the Lord. I am thankful I listened to the voice telling me to pick that book up today!

Wait Upon The Lord

I don't know when I first chose Isaiah 40:30 as my favorite verse? But it has been a long time. I have several eagles and different things with that verse on it around my house. Just so happens it is a favorite of my parents as well, and they too have eagle things around their house. Last week I heard a song I had not heard before and immediately it lifted my spirits. I heard it again today as I drove to Baylor for a check up and again it touched my spirit. So I looked up the lyrics tonight and they were written by Lincoln Brewster, but I think the song is actually sung by Chris Tomlin. I hope the lyrics will bless you as well.
Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord
Wait upon the Lord
We will wait upon the Lord
Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord
Wait upon the Lord
We will wait upon the Lord
Our God You reign forever
Our Hope our strong Deliverer
You are the everlasting God
The everlasting God
You do not faint
You won't grow weary
You're the defender of the weak
You comfort those in need
You lift us up on wings like eagles
You are the everlasting God
The everlasting God
The everlasting God
The everlasting

My Favorite Color

Today they announced to the church that I will be resigning June 1st. I was in children's worship and did not hear the announcement. Afterwards Rick Bingham came and found me and told me this story. Rick is a therapist and one day was walking down the hallway of his office and noticed a woman crying. He described her as weeping unconsoleably. He considered asking her if she needed help but continued on. A while later he returned and she was still crying, this time he asked her if she was okay? She tried to say yes, but then admitted she was not and needed someone to talk to. Rick listened to her story, during which time she cried so hard he offered her a bandana that he had in his pocket to blow her nose on. It was a purple bandana. He said it was one of those God moments when he told her that purple was the color of royalty and that she was the daughter of a king. Purple was also the color of bruises. While we do get bruised in this life, as the king's daughter we know that he will always love us and care for us. A few months later Rick ran into this woman again and asked if she remembered him. She told him yes, but that he could not have his bandana back. He told her he didnt' want it back. She told him that she has it displayed by her door and she sees it everyday when she leaves and she remembers that she is the daughter of a king and even if she is bruised that day she will be the reciever of His love. Rick went on to say since that time he ordered a gross of purple bandanas to hand out to people in need and he only has two or three left. Then he pulled it out from his pocket and I am now the grateful recipient of a purple bandana. Rick used to be a youth minister and he told me that he realizes now that you don't have to recieve a paycheck to still be a minister and that he knew that God was going to still use me. Of course I was crying at these sweet words. But what was really cool about this encounter? My favorite color has always been.....PURPLE! I am the grateful daugther of the King. Thanks Rick for the sweet reminder.

Our Ultimate Refuge

For 17 3/4 years on the 12th of every month (because we married 8/12) Steve has given me a card or small gift. Today he gave me a book entitled "Our Ultimate Refuge" by Oswald Chambers it is on the book of Job. I have only read 3 chapters, but already it has given me something to think about.
I thought I would share this quote with you:
Job 2:11-13
"Job's friends were hit deperately by the calamaties that had overtaken Job because their creed was the same as his had been; and now if Job was a good man, as their own hearts told them he was, where was their creed? They were dumbfounded with agony and Job was left without a consoling friend. The friends came slowly to the conclusion that their view of God was right, therefore Job must be wrong. They had the ban of finality about their views, which is always the result of theology being put before God. The friends suffered as well as Job, and the suffering which comes from having outgrown one's theological suit is of an acute order. Job's attitude is "I cannot understand why God has allowed these things to happen; what He is doing hurts desperately, but I believe that He is honorable, a God of integrity, and I will stick to it that in the end it will be absolutely clear that He is a God of love and justice and truth.'"
I think this paragraph hit me because it is so much where I am at right now. My own personal theology of who God is has crumbled but I am left with the simple but significant truth that He is God and I am not and nowhere does He say that I have to understand His working in my life. Just trust that "He will cause all things to work together for my good" (Romans 8:28)

When Your Hut's On Fire

Steve sent me this email today. The email did not give the original source. Anyway, it spoke to where I am right now and I thought I would share it with all of you.
"The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited island. He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him. Everyday he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming. Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect him from the elements, and to store his few possessions. One day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little hut in flames, with smoke rolling up to the sky. He felt the worst had happened, and everything was lost. He was stunned with disbelief, grief, and anger. He cried out, "God! How could you do this to me?"Early the next day, he was awakened by the sound of a ship approaching the island! It had come to rescue him! "How did you know I was here?" asked the weary man of his rescuers. "We saw your smoke signal," they replied.
The Moral of This Story: It's easy to get discouraged when things are going bad, but we shouldn't lose heart, because God is at work in our lives....even in the midst of our pain and suffering. Remember that the next time your little hut seems to be burning to the ground, it just may be a smoke signal that summons the Grace of God." May we all see with clear eyes how God is working in our lives today and everyday.

Give It Up

I am sorry but there are some artists that just need to Give It Up! Barry Gibb is one of them! Did anyone else see him on American Idol tonight? Oh my! I loved the Bee Gees, but tonight by himself I thought was pretty sad. There have been some other artist that I thought the same thing about, Kris Kristofferson would be one of them! I am sure it is really hard to be famous for so many years and then to know that your aging diminishes your talent. Tonight one of my God's Girls asked how old I was. When I said "53", she exclaimed "really? I didn't think you were that old!" I didn't know I was that old either :) Oh yes I do, everytime I see that new cell phone commercial where the mother is chastising the daughter for her text messaging and they are using letters for words (i.e. mbf=my best friend), I think boy am I out of touch! Anyway...who have you seen lately that you think should give it up?

Decision Made

Last week I asked how God confirms decisions. I'm not sure I have a definitive answer, but for me it was a sense of peace. Yesterday, I gave my resignation from my position as children's minister as of June 1st. The past two years have been a journey that is very hard to describe and is probably not understandable to anyone besides me. Steve and my mom have some understanding, but still not to same degree as me. At first my ministry gave me the motivation to fight and to get better physically. The leadership at church as been very supportive of the time it has taken, and workman's comp has been wonderful at providing the tools I needed to accomplish returning (i.e. power chair). But unfortunately, my healing is more than physical, it is also emotional and spiritual. Unfortunately, I have not attended to my emotional and spiritual health to the same degree I have my physical health. The reality of ministry for me is that it takes alot of my focus away from the Lord. This is really hard to understand since the whole point of ministry is to serve the Lord. But I often find myself doing for the Lord and not being with the Lord. So I decided with another summer coming where I still cannot physically participate in the activities I loved in children's ministry (i.e. camp) that I would take the time to focus on renewing my relationship with the Lord and spending time in my pool continuing to exercise my leg. There is alot to get done this month, so please pray that I just take one day at a time and not cause myself alot of further stress.
I am sure I will be blogging about this more in the days to come.

REYG

I got to spend the sweetest spiritual time tonight that I have had in a very long time. Claire and Clint Gerdes were baptized this morning at Highland Oaks and we were invited to their birthday party tonight. There a dozen or more teenagers there and it was a blessing being with them. It was great singing with them and hearing them sing. It was sweet hearing their blessings over Clint and Claire. I was really touched by something Josh Troutt said, it was something like "we have alot of baptisms and we all have seen alot of people get baptized by the neat thing is it never gets old. It is always a time of rejoicing and happiness" I thought that was so great coming from one of our teens. Cameron Thomas told Claire and Clint that he wished he could tell them that things get easier now, but that they actually get harder and that Satan will attack them. Kayla Chrisman told them she also shares the day she was baptized with her brother and at first she thought that she would rather have her own celebration instead of having to share, but as she has matured she has realized that is always something that will bond her and James together and she hope Claire and Clint would be grateful for that shared experience as well. So I just wanted to share with all of you. I need to spend more time with these teens, tonight they really blessed my life!

Praising God Continued

So to continue my post from yesterday. Here are my M-Z praises. I would love to hear yours!

M-I praise you for My Salvation
N-I praise you for Never leaving or forsaking me
O-I praise you for your Omniscient
P-I give you Praise
Q-I praise you that your love does not lessen when I Question
R-I praise you for your Righteousness
S-I praise you for the forgiveness of my many Sins
T-I praise you for being Trustworthy
U-I praise you that you are not Unapproachable
V-I praise you that I have Victory over Satan
W-I praise you that you do not Waffle, but stay the same
X-I praise you for knowing eXactly what I need at all times
Y-I Yearn to know you more and more
Z-I praise you that we will live and praise you for a Zillion years!

Praising God

So I read an article yesterday where the author came up with A-Z praises to God. While mine will not be as good, I thought I would give it a try. Today I will do A-L then tune in tomorrow for M-Z.

A-I praise you for being the Alpha-the beginning
B-I praise you for being my Blessed father
C-I praise you for being the Creator
D-I praise you for the Dance we do together
E-I praise you that your love is Everlasting
F-I praise you for never Failing me
G-I praise you for your Goodness and mercy
H-I praise you for your Healing power
I-I praise you for my favorite verse Isaiah 40:28-31
J-I praise you for the times you fill my heart with Joy
K-I praise you that you do not just require Knowledge of you
L-Of course I praise you most for your amazing Love

I would love to hear your alphabet praise too!

Discipleship Journal

Tonight I was reading the May/June issue of Discipleship Journal and there was an article that resonated with me. The article was by a woman named Sue Warburton and was entitled "Where Is My Miracle". She talks about losing her job and being jobless for 6 months. She talks about the day she cried out to God "are you listening, or if you are listening why aren't you acting?" Then she read Matthew 11:2-6 where John the Baptist is in prison and tells his disciples to go ask Jesus "Are you the one who was to come, or should we expect someone else?" Jesus answers "Go back and report to John what you hear and see: the blind recieve sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cured, the deaf hear, the dead are also raised, and the good news is preached to the poor. Blessed is the man that does not fall away because of me." Jesus seems to be saying I am who I say I am, look at all the miracles, yet John is not going to get one. She goes on to say that what Jesus was saying is "Don't fall away because of me, because of what I do or don't do". John did not just want to know if Jesus was God, he wanted Jesus to be God for him. He wanted Jesus to do something about his situation. The author goes on to say this "God does not cease to be God because He doesn't act the way we would like for Him to. He is still a God of miracles, even when a miracle doesn't happen for us. He still hears us, even when He remains silent. He's still there, even when we don't feel His presence. And although His ways may be mysterious, we can trust that they are right and good". Romans 8:28 She goes on to say "God is it for me. Where else do I have to go? Although He may not be the God I want Him to be, I have no choice but to follow the God I'm presented with, the one whose ways...Scripture assures me...are higher than mine" (Is.55:8-9)

This article reminded of the Twila Paris Song "Do I Trust You Lord?"
Sometimes my little heart can't understand
What's in Your will, what's in Your plan.
So many times I'm tempted to ask You why,
But I can never forget it for long.
Lord, what You do could not be wrong.
So I believe You, even when I must cry.
Do I trust You, Lord?Does the river flow?
Do I trust You, Lord?Does the north wind blow?
You can see my heart,You can read my mind,
And You got to know That I would rather die
Than to lose my faith In the One I love.
Do I trust You, Lord? Do I trust You?

I know the answers, I've given them all.
But suddenly now, I feel so small.
Shaken down to the cavity in my soul.
I know the doctrine and theology,
But right now they don't mean much to me.
This time there's only one thing I've got to know.
Do I trust You, Lord? Does the robin sing?
Do I trust You, Lord? Does it rain in spring?
You can see my heart, You can read my mind,
And You got to know That I would rather die
Than to lose my faith In the One I love.
Do I trust You, Lord?Do I trust You?

I will trust You, Lord, when I don't know why.
I will trust You, Lord, till the day I die.
I will trust You, Lord, when I'm blind with pain!
You were God before, and You'll never change.
I will trust You. I will trust You. I will trust You, Lord. I will trust You.

To which I say...it is the bottom line is it not? Trust or not trust? The God who gave His only Son to die so that I can be in relationship with Him is not a God who does not care. Once again I cannot be led by what I feel, but most be led by what I know and that is God loves me and will someday make it all plain to me...until then? I will trust you Lord.